Cave Sex Battles

Bizarro 09-28-04 hdrWEBBizarro 09-28-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Grammar.

I’m a self-proclaimed amateur expert on human behavior and anthropology and was pondering one day about how women tend to be more verbal than men. It then occurred to me that it would not surprise me in the least to find that females attained speech long before men, which is the point of this cartoon. It now occurs to me that an alternate interpretation of this cartoon is that both sexes had speech but it was hundreds of years before men actually started using it. That wouldn’t surprise me, either. Though most of my cartoons are not autobiographical, this one almost is. I’m not the traditionally silent type and probably talk far too much for my own good, but I was once married to a woman who could not stop talking if you had sewn her mouth shut. She woke up rambling on and on and it continued until after I fell asleep at night. It was disturbing, and not just to my sleep. (For a color print of this comic, go here.)

BIZARCHAEOLOGY: For dessert, I offer this elderly cartoon from 1998, in which I further explore stereotypes about male and female behavior as they may have pertained to prehistory. Yes, I know that not all men love football and TV and not all women love to shop. But humor is often found in generalizations and I don’t personally see anything insulting about either of these behaviors, so here it is. You may also notice that this cartoon situation took place in the early stages of language, before letters had been completely standardized and prepositions had been invented, but not before proper punctuation or capitalization.biz44tscCaveWEB

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Stomp Break Fall Stink

bz panel 09-25-14bz strip 09-25-14bz panel 09-26-14bz strip 09-26-14bz panel 09-27-14bz strip 09-27-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Scary Baby Man.


My clever friend in Germany, Michael Roth, had the idea that Ant-Man’s archenemy might be a guy with a big shoe to step on him. I added the picnic basket to drive home the point, as everyone knows that picnics attract ants.

The strip version of this one is turned sideways because I wanted readers to be able to see the entire image, but to shrink it down and place it vertically, as I normally would, would make it too small. I’ve done this a few other times, too, but not often. Here’s one now.










The idea of breaking up with someone in public to avoid a scene is common, but I thought this was a new twist on it. After drawing it, I added the twist of her being into the waitress, instead of the waiter, because humor is often found in surprise. Saucy!  (Personally, I’d never break up with someone in public. Not only is it cruel to attempt to handcuff a person’s emotions in that way, but you’re just begging for them to cause a big scene to teach you a lesson.)










The ancient philosophical question, “If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?” has been used in comics many times, but I thought this one seemed fun enough to revisit the motif. Plus, it’s the first time (that I can think of) that my Bizarro Bunny has had a speaking role in one of my cartoons.









BIZARROLD: Here’s another fun take on another fun saying about the forest. BearShitsWoodsBizarroThis one is from last year.



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Ned Panda Electric Foot

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Book Recommendation.


If you don’t get this first gag, it’s because you’ve not heard of TED talks, and that’s not my fault.














If you don’t get this gag, it’s because you’ve never heard of panda bears and/or cosmetic surgery, and how is that even possible?














If you don’t get this one, it’s likely because you don’t know how much havoc we have wreaked on the planet or that animal agriculture is at the top of the list of polluters. By not purchasing animal products (or purchasing far fewer) you can lessen your carbon footprint by a much larger amount than if you drive an electric car. Word.







BIZOMBIES: Speaking of footprints and Earth-killing animal industry, here’s an oldie from 1997 that has no social message. I just thought it was funny. (For more detail, click any hotdog.)BZ 07-13-97HotDogFootWEB

35 Comments | Posted in animals, classic Bizarros, daily Bizarros, environmental | Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,