Guru Saucy DVD Crash

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What this cartoon does not show is the guru’s Craigslist ad. Here it is: “Lonely old geezer seeks topless housekeeper for cave tidying. Must be willing to accept karma as payment.” (Get a print of this cartoon.)















Here’s one of my favorite gags in a while. Possibly because I’m a big fan of medical marijuana and the concept of governments outlawing plants on the basis of corporate propaganda makes my head explode. Is there no end to the idiocy of the human race? No, there isn’t. (Get a print of this cartoon.)










This cartoon is a modernized version of the old “when I was your age” speech so many parents have given their children. My own father had to crawl on his stomach across enemy lines under heavy artillery fire to go to school and back each day. He was raised in Missouri so I’m not clear on what war this was. As for myself, when I was a kid there was nothing to do on a car trip but stare out the window and contemplate the nature of existence. When you got tired of that, you kicked your sibling until they complained, then swore you didn’t do anything. Times have changed. (Get a print of this cartoon.)







BIZARROVERS: Today’s offering from the archival cesspool is a more accurate depiction of what car trips were like when I was a kid. bz-04-05-01-crashWEB

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Halloween Fun


Here’s a little fun for Halloween. A very well-done reading of Edgar Allan Poe’s “Masque of the Red Death.” Listen on headphones while you’re at work and your boss won’t seem half as creepy as usual. Enjoy!


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Peach Tweet Bug Neurosis

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Selfies.


Just for the record, I’m all for organic, locally-grown food. Our current food system is deadly to our health and that of the environment. I am against forcing children to lug backpacks weighing several hundred pounds to school, however.













Here’s a cute idea from my friend, Brian Levy. He claims he lives in Texas somewhere but I’ve never been to his house so I’m not sure if I should believe it.
















When attempting to connect with an object of your romantic desires, always refrain from over explaining what you do for a living. Just say something simple like, “I’m in sales.” Then, if they ask you what you sell, just say, “Does it really matter?”  Then move on to something more interesting like the nature of consciousness. At least, that’s how I won Olive Oyl’s heart.





FOR A CHANGE: Instead of an archival comic from Bizarro today, I offer you this comic by a friend of mine who is a very talented artist and a complete, neurotic mess. He is Steve Craig (seen here with some of his wives) and his site is called, appropriately, Neurotico.  Below is an illustration he did which includes me. Can you guess which one I am? (Hint: For some inexplicable reason, I am not wearing a hat.)

Go over to his site and treat yourself to some visual fun!NeuroticoGag

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