Today’s Bizarro is brought to you by Ritual Mutilation Services of Omaha.
This gag came from my friend and occasional writing partner, Phil Witte. He’s a super-dandy dude with fun ideas and I like using his stuff. In this case, I completely forgot to give him the typical by-line under my signature like I have in the past. Props and apologies to Phil are in order.
I don’t mean to be critical of piercings, I have two myself (an earring in each ear), and people have been doing this sort of thing all over the world for millennia. The extent to which many modern-day urban white kids do it is a little alarming, which is undoubtedly part of the point.
I, too, enjoyed being outrageous as a youngster. I died my hair blue, cut it short when everyone else in Oklahoma had it long, wore two earrings when doing so could result in fistmarks about your face and torso by Tulsa’s numerous homophobics. I once even threaded one of those red Twizzlers up one nostril and out the other, with an end sticking out of each nasal port, and wore it that way for a few days until I got tired of the taste dripping down my throat. I haven’t been able to stand Twizzlers since–in my nose or any other orifice.
So I’m tolerant of people who want to stand out in odd ways. Some just enjoy being different for their own unique reasons, some crave being the center of attention, some, like I did when I was a kid (and still do to some extent), like to challenge people’s prejudices.
And some just like the taste of Twizzlers.