>Confusing Rainbow of Mystery


>Bizarro is brought to you today by Presidential Dishtowels.

CHNW and I became friends with a transgender person in Hawaii recently, which later gave rise to this cartoon. Our new friend informed me of the difference between “transgender” and “transsexual” and although her definitions were a bit fuzzy, as I understand it, the gist is that transgenders psychologically relate to both sexes, crossing or erasing traditional sexual assignments, while transsexuals wish to be the opposite sex from which they were born.

Our friend in Hawaii is male by birth, but his personality, mode of dress, and demeanor are entirely female. He has changed his name to a woman’s and comports himself as a woman, yet he is sexually attracted to women, always has been, is not gay or even bisexual, and hopes to find a wife. You are right, that might be a difficult task.

You might say he’s a lesbian with the wrong plumbing. But he likes his plumbing and has no desire to change it. He’s a lesbian with a strap-on without a strap.

How this differs from transvestism is subtle, and not something I pretend to understand fully. Apparently the term transvestite has undergone many changes through history and currently floats somewhere between transgender (described above) and cross-dresser (who wears clothing of the opposite sex but does not go as far as psychological identity.) (I think.)

Confused? That is appropriate, because sexual identity and preference is not a black and white issue, as was taught by our forefathers and mothers. (Is there a name for someone with four fathers?) It is an immense, sweaty, throbbing, sliding scale of tendencies, preferences, fetishes and nuance.

Just one more way in which the human ape is hopelessly complex, but such is our fate as mutant primates.

So for those who feel the urge to criticize, clobber, or deny legal rights to someone whose sexual orientation and/or display offends them, I ask that they remember that other people have no more control over their desire to dress like Elvis and hit on lumberjacks than you do over your attraction to drunken coeds with big boobies. Time to grow up and accept that the world doesn’t always conform to our fairy tales.

SPECIAL THANKS to all you who posted an alternate caption to the Grim Reaper cartoon from yesterday’s post. Most of them were great, several were WAY better than mine. I should ask you guys ahead of time on every gag. (he said, inviting the snarky remarks of various curmudgeonly commentators.)


26 thoughts on “>Confusing Rainbow of Mystery

  1. >Regarding your friend — let’s not discount the advantages of being able to pee standing up. She’s a lesbian+. Might not be so hard to find a mate — there must be a few lesbians with enough latent hetero desires to gladly accept the “plus.” Love can triumph. Remember – the fattest man in the world just got married. Hell, even Dick Cheney is married.

  2. >I like to think of it as similar to right and left-handed people. I have heard that especially in catholic schools they would “beat” the left-handedness out of you.Yeah, because that is totally something Jesus would do!

  3. >As a friend to several TG/TS people, I’m wondering which restroom your TG friend prefers. I’m betting it’s the Ladies room. But I could be wrong. (I think.)

  4. >LOL Geronimo, I was thinking you could add a two headed silhouette to another door (There are already three bathrooms, why not add another) for Siamese twins…

  5. >Usually transsexuals prefer to be reference by pronouns for their target gender, not their birth gender. Family restrooms can be a boon to transgendered people, and so when some find that out, they, in the spirit of intolerance, try to make it illegal for anyone to use a family restroom unless they have a child with them. Which not only harms transfolk, but many others.

  6. >One book that cleared up a lot of the mysteries for me was Transgendered Warriors. Here’s a link to the website http://www.transgenderwarrior.org/My church (Unitarian Universalist) is a rather amazing place with space for most everyone to be themselves. That’s where I got to know a transgendered person, Lynn who used to be a man. She had issues but so do we all. At the time our minister was Doug a gay man in a committed civil union with another man.

  7. >The beautiful thing about trans people is how they blur the lines. I, personally, don’t try to ‘define’ the trans people in my life. I feel that trans people exist to show us that nothing’s really certain, nothing is really static, and anything we believe is black and white really isn’t.

  8. >You know, kids today is Friday, a day in which many programs set aside a few moments to review letters from the mailbag. Dan used to do a standup routine, where he would read such letters, I feel it’s appropriate to reread one of Dan’s hate letters for this blog posting. It’s simply a hilarious to read or to watch him perform, but frightening when you put it in context with Ann Coulter.“…Piraro take your Darwinian evolution, global warming, fag-loving, vegan, pussy ass cartoon out of America’s BLOG-O-SPHERE.” I’ve taken some editorial license in reproducing this text. Somebody has to do it, Dan’s distracted right now.In other related global stories we take you to our embedded correspondents {ConleyPastisCartoonistsExtraordinaire} for coverage of the many war fronts.“Thank you Black, today’s war coverage takes us to the heartland of America, Kansas City, Missouri. A place in which ‘Darwinian evolution, global warming, fag-loving, vegan, pussy ass cartoonist’ no longer reside…’

  9. >was is everyone soooo interested in what people do in the bedroom? seems to be nobodies business but my own..of course why do so many people want to talk ABOUT it. we are nosey bunch..

  10. >Does it bother you guys, then, that President Obama is opposed to gay marriage? Or that Sean Penn’s acceptance speech was dripping with hypocrisy, as he attacked people who oppose gay marriage in this country while he pals around with dictators like Castro and Chavez who oppress gays in their countries? Just asking.

  11. >”Pals around,” ROFL! I guess we are going to keep hearing that strange phrase long after it was proven unsuccessful.Look, Josh, Obama is a moderate so he takes a populist stand on gay marriage. He does support strong civil unions with practically the same rights as married couples.My marriage is not threatened by gay rights.

  12. >Yes, it bothers me that Obama isn’t 100% for gay marriage. But he has so much crisis management to perform at the moment after the historically catastrophic past 8 years, that I assume he takes the middle road to keep as many people on his side as possible until some of these fires are put out.I’m not sure what Sean Penn’s agenda was with Chavez and Castro, but speaking with foreign leaders to help affect change does not mean you agree with all of their policies, nor does it constitute “Palling.” Refusing to speak to your enemies is a childish, schoolyard approach to diplomacy.

  13. >Dan: I admit that Obama has a lot on his plate (though confidentially, I’m worried that he’s continuing the failed policies of his predecessor), but I just find it a little hypocritical that he’s held to such high standards by people far to the left when he opposes some of the policies they are in favor of. And for the record, I support full marriage and adoption rights for same-sex couples.Regarding Sean Penn, again, I’m pointing out his hypocrisy. He takes every chance to bash America, but gives a pass to countries where people are denied their rights to a great extent simply because the leaders (read: dictators) of those nations share his socialist ideologies.

  14. >Josh,Oh, someone points out that your country has flaws and sees some positives in other countries that have other flaws. Boo hoo!(Plus, Chavez isn’t a dictator just yet. He might be working on it tho…)

  15. >Well, at least Dictators like Castro and Chavez take from the wealthy and spread the wealth around. But how come conservatives didn't complain when Republicans "palled" around with Dictators like (see any Central & South American Dictator) in the 70's? Or don't complain about Putin? Or the Saudis — the worst of the worst dictators — who not only don't share the wealth, but do heinous things like circumcise their daughters, ban women from driving drive, voting, or going out in public alone? Or routinely throw people in jail without trial or representation? Behead homosexuals? The list goes on? Talk about hypocrisy.

  16. >Nowax,Simply answer, they have tons of money that they are willing to give to the conservatives, where as Castro and Chavez are relatively poor.Its all about the benjamins….. :(

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