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I went to the DMV today because I wanted to waste a couple of hours, be amazed by the idiocy of human bureaucracy, and register a motorcycle I bought recently. I accomplished two of my three goals – the wasting time and idiocy amazement – but I did not get a plate for the bike. I am not surprised, it was only my first visit for this particular undertaking and one can never acheive anything at a New York City DMV in less than two trips. In fact, the sign posted at the waiting area clearly states:

1. A notarized title
1. Proof of insurance
3. Completed forms DTF-802 and MV-82
4. Two forms of current picture I.D.
5. Something you did not bring

Of course, I forgot to bring number 5. I’ll try again tomorrow.


14 thoughts on “>Rats!

  1. >I realize that you live in NYC, but it is completely possible to register your vehicles in ANY DMV office in NY State. the one in the country out near your Animal Sanctuary will get you a registration that is just as valid, and you will likely wait in line a much shorter time, and be treated much nicer by the less harried staff. Just my 2 cents, I live in a small town in NY and believe me, I will take the small town DMV office over an urban one any day!

  2. >My condolences on your trip to the DMV. In my big city, they apparently have an anti-charm school they send the counter clerks to since they all seem to have the same "What are you bothering with now?" attitude.I try to go first thing in the morning on a day in the middle of the week — the lines aren't as long, and even the staff haven't geared up yet to full obnoxiousness.

  3. >i was just going to say the same thing as shipping troll…here in springfield illinois we have 2 offices and i got my new license (just one example) in 10 minutes with no wait..you could take the train to albany, draw cartoons all the way there and back and see some of the countryside too..

  4. >Condolences on living in NYC. I live upstate. In my local DMV office, a long line consists of one person waiting in front of you. Often you can go straight to the counter, or have to wait for the person at the counter to finish.Paperwork requirments are the same though.

  5. >have you tried either of the dmv offices in brooklyn? maybe they're less of a madhouse. i imagine them to be insane too. the coney island one might be less crowded, but easy enough to get to. on your way over you can stop by and have yummy food.oh, i was going to tell you i found a vespa store in w'burg across from the automotive high. i got an idea to write vespa and ask them if they could customize a bike for me, what do you think?? i would give my left arm to own and be able to ride one. i know HD makes custom smaller motorcycles, i've seen them… so why not vespa right? i just need a big flag on the back that reads, "born to ride, so step aside!" hehe. it's settled, i will write them!

  6. >hey d,i was thinking along the lines of this…{ el link-o } i also forgot to mention, i almost scooter-jacked a bike in spain, no one locks anything there! freebie!! haha. plus, i almost bought a helmet for no good reason other then i know in my heart of hearts, i am destined to ride my own vespa scooter and ride off into a dusty sunset. if i can jimi-rig my car, i can jimi rig anything, even a watermelon! viva la revolution!

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