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Bizarro is brought to you today by Good Advice.
Here it is a few days after Xmas and I’m back at Bizarro International Headquarters overseeing production meetings, taking conference calls from Asia and beyond, scheduling power lunches with bigshots, and refusing to take Larry King’s calls. It’s great to be home.
>stop this skit
>I've interviewed Larry King. No kidding. I for real have been on the end of asking questions of him. It was…pretty cool.
>Ow. Getting old sucks.
>Hey! Getting old RULES! I turned 61 this year and it's been great. "Pick up the damn phone, I can't hear you on that speakerphone, I'm OLD!" "No, I'm not coming with you for a paintball excursion in the frozen woods, I'm OLD." "I don't have to learn that, I'm OLD." "Of course I can disapprove of a lot of things, I'm OLD." "Just shut up until you're as OLD as me. You don't have a clue what you're talking about."I have every hope that, by the time I'm 80, I'll be such a giant pain in the ass that the entire world will go in fear of me. Working on it even as we speak.
>Your International Headquarters-that looks like some prime realestate! More photos, please!(HAPPY NEW YEAR, DAN!)PS: Who is Larry King?
>Welcome back, old man.
>My mom had a moment like this the other day when she ordered herself a coke and a senior chicken at McDonald's. What she meant to say was she wanted a discounted senior sized Coca-Cola, but in her old age, goofed.