>Conspiracies

>Bizarro is brought to you today by Conspiracy Theories.

This cartoon got some angry letters from readers who believe that 9/11 was an inside job and felt I was making fun of them. Most of the letters were polite and chided me for being uniformed about the various holes in the “official” story and included links to prove their case. I’ve seen most of these sites before but viewed them again so I could be totally, totally informed.

I don’t mean to insult any of you who believe this, but here is my position, for what it’s worth. I have no doubt that Cheney and Bush (word order intentional) would have done such a thing if they could. But considering their utter failure at everything else they touched, I find it inconceivable that they could have pulled off a mission so huge and complex without everything going wrong. First, a lot of people would have had to be in the loop and history tells us that people are not good at keeping secrets; someone would have come forward by now with irrefutable evidence, not just conjecture. Second, you can find holes in every story, true or not. The human brain is irresistibly drawn to conspiracy theories, it’s part of our evolutionary nature to study events, construct a story and draw conclusions. Different people come to different conclusions, but they can’t all be true. As it turns out, the simplest explanation is usually correct. Bin Laden is the simplest explanation here, by far.

The Bush administration was clearly guilty of ignoring repeated warnings about the attack beforehand and using it as a tool to frighten the nation into attacking a country that had nothing to do with it. And we all know how well that worked out for the U.S. They used 9/11 in the most unscrupulous way imaginable to get what they had been wanting for years and that alone is enough to put them in jail forever. But I don’t think they orchestrated it. I think it was Bin Laden. Just my opinion, we all have one.

As I said, most of the letters were polite but here is one that falls into some other category. I found it amusing, I hope you do, too. It appears here in its entirety, except for the signature.

THIS PAST WEEK ?NOT SO FUNNY BUT ALSO A LIE : “BUSH DIDN’T
DO 911 … “MEANING ? HE DID , OR HE DID NOT ?AND YOU KNOW THE
DIFFERENCE >? BUSH DID NINE ELEVEN AND TWELVE AND 2 WARS ? I
REALLY LIKE THE BIZARRO COMIC , BUT I DID NOT GET THIS ONE … SHAME ON YOU AND OUR GOVERNMENT FROM 2001 TO 2008 , AND THE LITTLE BOYS STILL COVERING IT UP … I AM 76 YRS OLD AND DO NOT LIKE JOKES LIKE THAT . THIS /THAT WAS A” FALSE FLAG ATTACK “. MAY THE TALIBAN KICK PETRAEUS AS AND THEN YOURS .. I KNOW HEARST IS A RAG PAPER : I AM JUST ABOUT TO WRITE TO SCARPETTA,(PATRICIA CORNWELL ) PAGE 158 CHAPTER
10 … BERGER LOOKS OUT HER WINDOW AND SEES FLIGHT 11 CRASH INTO WTC.
THEN THE SECOND PLANE HIT … NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FN PLANE CRASHED INTO ANY BUILDING … CHECK OUT THE STATISTICS AT TRANSPORTATION DEPT (KNOWN HAS RITA ) DEPARTURES ,, FLIGHTS 11,175,77,
93 ? FLEW ON 9/10 , AND WERE PENCILLED IN HAS FLYING ON 9/11/2001
(MISSING THE TAIL NUMBERS AND DEPARTURE TIME …

I responded to the other emails, but not this one. I don’t actually speak this man‘s language and I couldn’t be certain he has a translator available.

ON A DIFFERENT TOPIC:
Hey, kids. A reader just told me that somebody posted some random clips from my Baloney Show on Funny or Die. Please go to that site and vote “funny.” I’m too young to die.

Thanks!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d0d4a60502/the-bizarro-baloney-show-by-dan-piraro

This entry was posted in daily Bizarros, Funny Fun, hate mail, politics, psychology. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to >Conspiracies

  1. Anonymous says:

    >Dan, you need to put the tin-foil hat back on and remove all your fillings.You've been brain-washed! Those cellphone repeaters have sold you the lie! The CHNW IS stealing your cookies! The Myhtboy

  2. James says:

    >Dan, did you get any angry letters from anti-Semitic conspiracy nuts who blame Israel/Jewish people for the 9/11 attacks? Also, I'm no fan of Bush & Cheney, but to say they would have pulled off such an attack is unbelievably cynical and makes me lose a little more respect for you.

  3. Ben Buckley says:

    >That last one is almost as bad as the Time Cube guy.

  4. FatherSnitch says:

    >Dan, I know you receive some strange letters in response to your cartoons, but it is very odd that some were chiding you for being uniformed. What uniform in particular did they have a problem with?

  5. Seth Alexander says:

    >I don't know Dan. That guy seems legit. Haven't you ever heard that old internet saying? " THE GOVERMENT IS SELING THE LIES FOR THE SHEEPLE TO BY!!!!!!!!DONT BY THE LIES OR ELS YOUR STOOPED!!!!!!"Think about it.

  6. Guzzo says:

    >I think the experiences of both Harry Markopolos and Shirley Sherrod explain the whole situation best.No One Would Listen.http://guzzothecontrarian.com/2010/07/26/no-one-would-listen/

  7. Anonymous says:

    >Dan… FYI: The 9/11 attacks were planned way before Bush was in office. Not only was the CIA and FBI at fault but the INS was so weak and ineffective that it was replaced in 2003 by the Department of Homeland Security. (I guess reforming the INS wasn't a strong enough action for us so they had to rename it!). Dan, I agree with you that most conspiracy theories have less credibility where government is involved. Just look at the communication debacle during the CA wildfires! For the most part, conspiracy theorists are biased and empowered by sharing and finding support for their "guilty verdict".Cheers!

  8. Ranger says:

    The video clip was from my point of view truly funny…… But this is also the point of view of a complete computer nerd that creates high tech computer softwear in his spair time.

  9. “>Conspiracies | Bizarro Blog!” ended up being
    definitely entertaining and enlightening! In the present day society
    that’s really hard to accomplish. Many thanks, Hermine

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