Bizarro is brought to you today by Waxy Heston.
Just for the sake of doing something different, today I’ll start out with an old cartoon from the Bizarro archives, and then move on to the more recent cartoons. If you’re uncomfortable with this change and would like to reverse this order, click here.
Here is a cartoon from 1996, only a few months after my first wife and I suddenly split up as a result of a dispute over the 7th commandment. I’m not a big fan of most of the commandments but this is one that remains one of my general rules in life for both myself and my partner. I guess I’m just an old-fashioned boy from Tulsa.
During this time I was very upset as a rule, and at times I was downright suicidal. The normally painful act of scraping a new cartoon out of the folds of my brain each day was exceptionally excruciating during this period, when all I really wanted to do was fantasize about double homicide. But my regular habits of eating daily and living indoors depended on it, so I soldiered on. This cartoon is an excellent example of how one can turn one’s darker thoughts into comedy fit for public consumption.
In contrast, these days I’m pretty happy so my jokes are not mostly about death. Here’s one, for example, that is about disease. The spelling error idea was sent to me by a reader and this is how I used it. A close friend of mine recently got a random staph infection in his eye and nearly lost it. No kidding, you shouldn’t play around with that stuff. Eyes are handy, especially in pairs. He’s better now, thanks.
This last idea I got while watching Mad Men, one of my favorite television programs. I think of myself as a sort of Don Draper type, except I’m not living under an assumed identity, I’m not in advertising, and I’m not suave and irresistible to women. Other than that, though…