Bizarro is brought to you today by The Future.
Thanks for all the suggestions and comments about the new blog. “Opening links in a new window” was preferred nearly four to one, so that’s the way I’ll keep it. On my Mac, a quick “command,” “w” will close the new window and bring you right back to the blog page. I’m sure there’s something similarly easy on PCs.
Today’s cartoon: are you the sort of person who would want to know the sex of the baby, or would you prefer to be surprised? I once had two babies, five years apart, and I strongly favored being surprised. Not so much because I like surprises as because in a pregnancy, the father has only two enjoyable roles: putting the baby in there and calling people to let them know if it is a boy or a girl. I was lucky, neither of my kids was a hermaphrodite–I’m not sure what that phone call would be like.
“The baby was born this morning at 5:21 am and weighed 8lbs., 2 oz.”
“Is it a boy or a girl?”
“We’re told we can decide later.”
As I recall–and I admit that I’ve blocked a lot of the memories out–the rest of the pregnancy process is very difficult and unpleasant for the father. Yes, ladies, I know it is difficult on the mother, too. That’s my point. It has been my experience that what is difficult for a woman is generously shared with the spouse. It is something of a chicken-or-the-egg question: What’s more difficult–going through a tribulation, or watching and caring for someone going through a tribulation? Being nauseous, having a backache, feeling ugly, being paranoid, having to pee every 47 seconds, having the emotional stability of a teenage baboon on crack, or being the person who caused these delightful symptoms and standing next to her for nine months? It’s my blog, so I say it’s a toss up.
Everyone has great aspirations for their children. I once hoped one of my daughters would be the first female president. But one day I turned on Fox News and realized that being president is something I’d only wish on my worst enemy, and began hoping instead that they’d be relatively happy and able to afford to live indoors. I got my wish on all accounts.
Speaking of getting your wish, wouldn’t it be cool if you could get this cartoon on various fine products and give them to somebody you know who is about to give birth? Wish granted! Click here.
Am I the only one on this new-fangled blog who misses the old serif font?
=v= On Windows it’s “Ctrl”, “w”. On Linux it’s also “Ctrl”, “w” except for those of us who hate Windows and change it to “command”, “w” — though there are also variants like “Alt”, “w” and “Shift”, “Ctrl”, “Alt”, “command”, “w” because Linux people are a bunch of anarchists who can’t agree on anything.
I hope this information is helpful. If not, just hit keys until the window goes away.
Oh please… I hope this child does not grow up to be a cartoonist… or… a crazy dulcimer player… :)
Putting the baby in there photo: what a beautiful place for a romantic getaway.
My 4-month-old has already assured me that she will be some kind of Beatrix Kiddo character early in life with her unmatched kicking abilities and will later settle into a seat on the Supreme Court of the United States, or SCOTUS, as she calls it. While she may not be guaranteed the indoor living arrangement in her Kiddo phase, her hard times will be rewarded with a lavish DC home when the country refers to her as Justice So-And-So.
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It seems the type size is a big larger, and as one who wished it so I approve.
Links should only ever open in a new window (or a new tab, for us Firefoxers); why you’d want to send your readers away from your work to look at an image inspired by a fleeting comment I don’t understand. This is the INTERNET: Back in 1998 I clicked on a link in the middle of a story, one site led to another, and I still haven’t gone back to that first site. (And I’ll probably never know what Clinton did with that brunette intern.)
And tsk, I prefer serif type for body copy as well. Better readability.
Hey Dan, just a heads up that the link to your blog from your iPhone app goes to the o so old blog web page.
Thanks!
Sorry–it’s CTRL + w.
I like Neil’s logic. I’d forgotten (or never knew) the Cntl+w tab closure procedure. So, I’m equalized on the new window protocol…just have to use two fingers now, rather than one. Thanks for the tutorial, Jym.
I like the new look a whole lot! No complaints anywhere yet!
I would not want to know the sex of my spawn before birth. I’ve never known many people with children so am not familiar with all the pregnancy ritual, including showing off sonograms. One day a coworker showed me a murky image. I did not know what it was. I said “What’s that? It looks like a rat.” Turns out it was a sonogram of his grandchild. He was offended. Then I said, “Well, they all look alike at that age you know.” He was offended again! Sheesh.
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