Bizarro is brought to you today by Hybrids.
It is St. Patrick’s Day today and to commemorate it, I’m spending most of it worrying that Matthew McConaughey will star in a movie that I really want to see. Not only does he have far too many letters in his last name (blame the Irish) he reminds me of the sort of arrogant rednecks I grew up with in Oklahoma and Texas. He may well be a terrifically nice person, but I can’t watch him on screen. It hurts.
But let’s be clear; my distaste for him has nothing to do with his assumed Irishness. I’m part Irish, too, on my mother‘s side. That’s likely why I’m poetic, drunk and get into lots of fights. I can make those kinds of ethnic jokes about the Irish because I am part Irish. I think that’s a rule, isn’t it?
Now let’s talk about homosexuals. This gag was suggested to me by my good friend and occasional collaborator, Cliff, who is not a homosexual as far as I or his wife knows. My editors worried that we might get some negative mail from this one but so far we’ve only received one complaint. This is the entire letter:
“I didn’t see the humor in it, and I don’t understand why he or his editors found it humorous. There’s nothing funny about being gay.”
I’ve never been gay so I can’t judge if there is humor in it. But a disproportionate number of extremely funny people I have known in my life are gay. I realize it is purely anecdotal, but I’m inclined to believe there is, in fact, something funny about it. (I am also inclined to believe the writer of this note is straight.) Nonetheless, this cartoon isn’t about how funny it is to be gay. It is about word play and words have no sexual orientation that I am aware of.
In contrast, I received no negative comments about this anti-smoking cartoon. Everyone hates smokers these days. Smokers even hate themselves. I am a smoker (although not an “inhaler” because I smoke cigars) and do not hate myself, but I do hate that I can’t smoke anywhere indoors unless I own the property. I’m not saying I want to smoke indoors everywhere, I just think it would be nice if some restaurants and bars allowed it. They could cater specifically to smokers. Yes, I know, the people who work there would be exposed to health risks and people can’t always choose where they work they have to take whatever job they can get and…oh, never mind. Let’s all just hate smokers and be done with it.
Here’s your big chance to get fine products with these cartoons on them. Don’t miss it! Antlers…Homophone…Smoking.
As the proud mother of a gay son, I was thinking about the homophone cartoon. I think if it said, “Two words that sound gay but are actually straight” it would have been funnier. Just sayin’…
Yes, my editors and I debated that point back and forth and finally gave up. It sort of works either way.
This is the first I’m commenting on the new version – so exciting!
A friend’s young son (4 or 5) was asking her about “you know, the guys who like women, but they like to look good, too.” She very bravely took him up on it and explained that such men were called “metrosexuals.” He thought for a moment and then said, “So the guys who like guys… what are they? Hobosexuals?” She was driving at the time and is still amazed she didn’t run off the road from laughing so hard. Of course, the funny thing is, apparently there really are gay hobos who refer to themselves as “Hobosexuals.” Who knew?
There’s a cartoon in there, I can smell it. Very funny, thanks for sharing.
“Hobosexual” is a crack up. I think I’ll add it to my repertoire.
You really have cracked me up the last couple of weeks. The homophones is very funny and anybody who didn’t think it was funny probably doesn’t know what a homophone is. I constantly have to explain it to my 7 year old and my personal favorite one is rapped, rapt, & wrapped :)
Also as an x-smoker I did inhale and enjoyed it but I have no clue why anybody would smoke a cigar and especially if they don’t inhale.
What do you get out of it?
you do get a little buzz from smoking cigars but it isn’t nearly as dangerous since you don’t inhale. I’m not sure what the attraction is. Something to do with your hands and mouth, the nasty taste in your mouth, all that stuff. It’s more of a psychological addiction than a physical one, but there is a small amount of that, too.
Oh, there is too a whole lot funny about being gay, just as there is about being straight. Let’s face it, ALL sex is undignified, funny and ridiculous; if it weren’t fun as well nobody’d be caught dead doing it.
Extremely well put.
“Caught dead doing it”? Shivers… I wouldn’t want to be caught dead doing it…
BIZARRO 03/17 – “My smartphone left me for a college grad-u-ate” Two guys sitting at a bar – one dressed as “an Irishman.”
A friend wrote:
Look at the hat and the button on the vest. Anyone with a drop of Irish blood in him knows that shamrocks are trefoils — they have three leaves, not four. Remember that Padraic used the shamrock as a symbol in explaining the Trinity to the pagan Irish tribesmen. And you can’t do that with a four-leaf clover.
Are you sure you have a drop of Irish blood!??!
Ha. Never really thought about it, just used a lucky four-leaf clover because it seemed like something a leprechaun would have. My family is Irish by blood, not by tradition, so I’m not up on a lot of the botanical details.
Im an English teacher and appreciate the Language Arts humor of the homophone!
So there!
I work with a proud Irish man with whom I commonly argued with a few years ago. He claimed Mexican-Americans celebrating Cinco de Mayo were essentially traitors. I couldn’t quite impress upon him the irony.
People can’t always choose where they work, they can, however, choose where they _don’t_ work. For example, very few people choose to work in prostitution, regardless of their situation. Also, there is very little evidence to support the claim that being around people who smoke has any significant effects on health.
I agree 100% and have made that argument on this blog before but smoker-haters come out of the woodwork to attack me so I gave up. You are right on all accounts, of course.
The paragon of underastndnig these issues is right here!
this might be off toppic a bit were i live in ohio thay passed the no- smoking in public places a few years back. i,m a smoker, and so what there saying is that some one eles can go to a bar and drink as much as they want and get behind the wheel of a car an possably kill some one, and if i smoke in a bar i could what, make there close smell bad. i see why this is so frustrating for you. maybe some day i’ll get hit by a drunk driver while i am crossing the street smoking a cigarette!