Chocolate Philosophical Footwear

Bizarro is brought to you today by Tasty Technology.

Man (woman, child, undecided), it has been a wild week. So busy, so stressful, so unpredictable. Some of it has to do with family medical issues, some with my Top Secret Mystery Project, some with deadline juggling: all those elements have combined to make it difficult for me to find time to do my favorite cartoon-related acitivity –– blogging.

But all’s well that ends well. So here are some cartoons from this week that I hope you will enjoy.

Cartoon one: she lives in a shoe! Get it? But how could a shoe house a family? It could if it had 3 bedrooms and 2 baths! Ahhahahahahahahahah!

Anthropologists agree that agriculture was a big part of what made us humans so dominant in the world. Once a society has got plenty of food, it has time to dedicate to pure thought: discovery, invention, philosophy, more interesting hairstyles. It is a popular adage that only cockroaches will survive a worldwide nuclear holocaust, thus leaving them plenty of food, no predators, and plenty of time to philosophize. And this brings us to this cartoon, where over-evolved roaches contemplate the meaning of the word “successful” in terms of the longevity of a species. Hmmm.

Houseflies don’t live very long and that was the inspiration for this Housefly Grim Reaper gag by my good pal and colleague, Wayno. (I recently saw a photo of Wayno on the Interwebs with a caption that identified him as “Pittsburgh cartoonist, Wayno, a known associate of Dan Piraro.” I don’t know if the FBI captioned the photo, but it makes us sound like criminals. I kind of dig it.

Here is Wayno’s eloquent musing about this cartoon and our collaboration on the positive-thinking chimps of last Sunday.

As the saying goes, if you don’t like chocolate, you’re a brain-eating zombie. I don’t know if anyone actually says that, but I just did. Almost everyone likes chocolate and for good reason; it’s delicious. It’s also pretty fattening, especially in the forms that it is most often offered–– full of sugar and milk. As a vegan, I’m happy that I can still enjoy dark chocolate. This cartoon is a simple but delightful use of an alternate meaning for the word “dark.” If you like chocolate and black humor, this cartoon is made to order. (Yes, I know that last sentence sounded like some PR bullshit from a sales catalog.)

All of these and more Bizarro cartoons can be found on so many snazzy products here.

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13 Responses to Chocolate Philosophical Footwear

  1. Stacy Carson says:

    Love the Very Dark Chocolate! (Both the confection and your comic.) It tickled a part of my brain that triggers not only laughter, but also profound, respectful nodding. And repeated inspection and appreciation. Speaking of which, I just now (after the 5th or 6th perusal) got the Fleeting Joy – Almond Joy bit.

  2. Tanja says:

    Vegan chocolate also comes in white :) Just saying – in case anyone thinks dark chocolate is all there is for vegans.

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  4. Hermite says:

    I thought the flyswatter was a particularly nice touch. I lol’d. :o)

  5. Steve H says:

    Your secret project is … building your very own kaaba?

  6. Kathy says:

    Excellent comics yet again. I especially like that the “old” fly is wearing slippers. Nice touch!

  7. Alex says:

    A few *million* years?! If you take the beginning of industrialisation as the beginning of the self-destruction, it would be merely a couple of hundred years. If you take the beginning of civilisation as the beginning, a few thousand years.

    • Piraro says:

      You’re right on both accounts, I was talking about Homo Sapiens as a species, though, so I should have put “a couple hundred thousand” years. I got lazy.

  8. Kevin Farrell says:

    Don, I know about the stress of life that you speak of. Sometimes I get it so bad that I don’t even have time to read your blog. Then I hate myself. Glad you found time to blog again.

  9. Jack Brooks says:


    Of your many outstanding cartoons, I think the one about with the toga-dressed cockroaches commenting on the viabiliity of a species that eliminates itself was the best. It deserves an award of some sort for being so timely and telling. Simply excellent.

    Let’s have more of those.

    Thanks, Jack Brooks

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