Bizarro is brought to you today by Hurricane Irene.
Bizarro Headquarters in Brooklyn is directly in the path of Hurricane Irene today. It should hit us around sunset tonight and last into tomorrow. Much of the city has been evacuated but BzH is on high-enough ground that we have been spared. So here we sit with flashlights, safety goggles, helmets, snorkle gear, fresh water, canned food, cigars, scotch, two laptops with fully-charged batteries and a stack of DVDs.
We expect to lose power at some point; the city is saying they’ll be shutting it off if there is flooding. I’m no meteorologist, but I’d say flooding is a fair bet considering that an airborne mass of water the size of Europe is heading this way. So I’m rushing to get some work done and uploaded to King Features before the power goes out, in case it takes a few days to get it back on.
If a chunk of the Brooklyn bridge blows through my windows and I die in this storm, this could be my last post. So I’m going to use it as a last will and testament:
Being of sound mind and body, I hereby bequeath all of my worldly goods to the first person to get Michele Bachmann’s husband to come out of the closet. You will need indisputable video evidence of him in flagrante with a member of his own sex, and it will need to make national news. The first person to pull that off gets all my stuff.* (Assuming that I am not survived by my wife or any blood relatives, of course. Let’s be reasonable.)
*A $4,000 value!
Here, now, are possibly the last two cartoons I will ever post. If you like them half as much as I enjoyed drawing them, times the amount of joy I felt when my daughters were born, minus a quarter of the nausea I experience when Sarah Palin winks, you will have saved at least one life more than you would have had you not saved any lives at all, and that person may grow up to find a cure for baldness. And what more can a cartoonist ask? 
Love the same-person marriage—that’s a deep, rich cartoon.
U R Brilliant and I appreciate you. Please be safe during Irene.
Out west here, we still tell tales of the Legend of “Stormin’” Bill Doppler… back in those days, he was the only person who rode from West to East (besides the late John Candy), but that was the way the weather patterns went. The Weather Channel maks a moment of silence every May 13th, to commemorate the day in 1888 a tornado touched down in Santa Fe, New Mexico, the townsfolk all said “What in tarnation was THAT?” (because Santa Fe, New Mexico gets a tornado once every 50 years) and they decided to lynch Stormin’ Bill.
Love that last cartoon re: same person marriage. Growing up in the 60′s between Hollywood, TV and rock-n-roll. It pretty much screwed up my view of healthy relationships. Irene is beginning to make herself felt here in Baltiomre, MD. Good luck up there in Brooklyn
love you dan!!! all the best to you and ashley (& any other creatures dwelling w/ y’all) during this severely wonky time!! for what it’s worth, sending good vibes your way, eh!? *sigh* peace bro ~go
I love the “Paul Revere” doppler cartoon. Your 2 final cartoons are also top notch. And, sitting here safe and sound by Lake Michigan, I want to reassure you that time is on your side. Eventually one of Mr. Bachmann’s b*tt buddies will come forward and all will be revealed. I can’t wait to see what you do with that!
When I heard the rumor of your untimely demise I felt a rich sorrow for not getting that book signed when I could have. Damn glad it was just a rumor. You are alive still right?
The Same Person Marriage cartoon is incredibly brilliant you rock-star of a human! Don’t go drowning in the rain.
Hi Dan and Ashley. Been thinking about your possibly being in the path of Irene. Glad to know where you are. I know you’ll make it. We can’t do without more BIZARRO.
Love to you both.
I love, love, love the same-person marriage one. How crazy do I sound if I admit that I’ve considered such a thing? Semi-seriously?
May you and yours stay safe.
Really like the art in the Doppler cartoon. All three are entertaining.
“Where are your eyes again?”
Brilliant.
I assume you were able to survive the storm. While it didn’t seem to cause too much damage in any one place, the damage it did cause was fairly widespread, so it will still cost a lot of money.
Out here in L.A. we seem to have survived Irene, though apparently that was all that was happening anywhere in the world.
In any case, Skinny-dipping Muppets is a winner.