Bizarro is brought to you today by Simple Logic.
I’ve been thinking about things lately––by “lately,” I mean in the past few minutes––and I’ve decided to move to Los Angeles. The weather is much nicer than NY’s, the beach is nicer than Coney Island, I’ll save tons on bronzer because I’ll actually see the sun when I go outside, and it’s a much better place to be a movie star.
First, I’ll need to rent a place to live. Can anyone help me find a cool place, not too expensive, that allows smoking? (I know that’s hard in California. Californians like smokers about as much as New Yorkers like Californians.) I’m thinking of an artist’s loft or converted warehouse or garage space––something like that. More like this, nothing like this. Or this. I don’t know much about L.A. neighborhoods so I don’t really even know where to start. But it needs to be affordable, since I won’t have much money after hitchhiking across the country with all my worldly possessions on my back: computer, desk, chair, easel, art supplies, guitar, amp, humidor, case of scotch, bicycle, motorcycle, two pairs of clothes and a hat.
If you think you have some advice for me, email it to me at IWantToHelpYouMoveToTheWestCoastDan@IGottaGetTheHellOutOfNewYorkBeforeWinterHitsOrI’llGoNuts.com, or just leave it in the comments section of this blog or send me a Facebook message. (BTW: I have two official pages: this one [has reached FB's friend limit] and this one [which I guess is a fan page.] Anything else you come across isn’t administered by me.)
I wonder if they have pigeons in L.A. I’m really fond of them and will miss my flock here in Brooklyn, some of which look just like the one in the cartoon at left. Brooklyn pigeons have been known to steal cars. If you know for sure that there are no pigeons in L.A., let me know and I’ll bring a few. But not the big, muscly kind.
My last cartoon today is about bigotry against homosexuals, which, if you’ve read many of my posts in the past, you will know that I find despicable. One of my favorite excuses for disapproving of homosexuality is that it is “not natural.” Neither is obesity or flying but you don’t find anyone trying to restrict the civil rights of a fat family on their way to Disney World.
This cartoon was written by my “known associate,” Wayno, who has the same low opinion of narrow-minded nitwits as do I. Here’s his post about it.
I’m sorry to inform you that Los Angeles is not a real place. It’s just an extended backlot for filming TV shows. All facades, no guts.
I hear Portland, OR is nice, though.
You’ll find a pigeon or two in Los Angeles, along with the seagulls. Northeast Los Angeles tends to be the most affordable and has the most artist loft spaces. The area around Little Tokyo downtown might also be good. Eagle Rock and Highland Park would be a good fit, as long as you stay north of York Boulevard (south of that, there’s a little too much activity from the Avenidas gang). But I haven’t lived in LA for two years, so all these neighborhoods might have changed.
I second Chris’s suggestion about Northeast LA. If you poke around there do include Mount Washington, a hillside enclave of a lot of interesting and arty folks. And, yes, reasonable priced. Plus way less traffic than other parts of LA.
California, specifically LA, is the land of fruits, nuts and flakes. Do you really want to jump into that big bowl of granola? On the other hand, think of all the material you will have to work with!
Hey, I grew up in the LA area and still live here … I resemble that remark very much!
A fan for years, because of your amazing drawing ability, really a wizard with a pen with an uncanny ability to poke fun at the “Human condition”. Your off kilter view – really, not only made me laugh but also think. Taking a stand for gay rights -by bashing fat people? Doesn’t help anybody. We won’t get anywhere,make any progress that way. Ask a 13 year old fat kid and a 13 year old gay kid to compare notes on their lives and how they are treated. We have far more in common in our life experiences than not. Realization of that will lead to what you were “trying” to do. I retweeted this on the spot- “Oh Dan Piraro needs help”-retweet! Then I read down to the bottom, and clicked the picture of that unsuspecting family. – Unknowingly photographed because of a difference that made you uncomfortable. No different than if I snuck a picture of a gay couple kissing and labled it disgusting- or a person who was over tatooed- or missing a limb ,etc. You asked for help – I responded. Then regretted. I never , ever comment or rant on people’s blogs. This is the first time I was moved to.
Thanks for your response, Kelly. I am truly sorry you were offended, but I wasn’t poking fun at fat people, nor did I label the photo disgusting. You did that in your own head. I was saying that being obese is not “natural”. This is why you don’t find obese animals of any species, including humans, in the wild. I appreciate your concern and the civil tone in your well-thought-out comment. Please know that I do not hate or discriminate against fat people; there are many in my own family whom I love dearly. But I cannot pretend that obesity is natural. As difficult as it is to avoid in today’s America, we do it to ourselves.
It wasn’t THAT well thought out. The missing limb part was a little bit stupid. I have a friend who lost his arm when he was a freshman in high school and he builds cabinets and works construction and can hit a golf ball 300 yards. He’s a badass. And fat people are not as cool as him. Obesity is a problem that can be helped. Homosexuality is not a problem. Bigots are.
I agree.
@BA,
I hear yah, obesity is a problem that can be helped.And someone just need to learn how to control and discipline self..
George Harman
I appreciate you responding to me. I do think not everyone does it to themselves and that is a HUGE misconception by too many people. Just ask my doctor, my nutritionist and my personal trainer. I just don’t think you can raise one group up by putting another down. That being the actual flaw I found in a post ending with a declaration of a “low opinion of narrow-minded nitwits” . I’ve always admired your talent. Good luck in Los Angeles.
Thanks, Kelly. Again, sorry to offend.
Of course being obese is natural, just as natural as being gay. Both occur in nature, it’s just more obvious in humans. There are cultures where being obese is considered a status symbol since it infers wealth. The fact that it is generally unhealthy is beside the point.
Now, if you want to talk about something not natural that we can all be bigoted about, that would be smoking.
Yes, I am just tweaking you Dan with that last comment. In fact, some of my best friends have been smokers :-)
Indi – glad you pointed out that homosexuality isn’t unnatural. I know Dan didn’t mean it to come across that way but for other folks who might not be so enlightened and might latch onto it. You know, the abomination argument.
As always Dan, thank you for your honesty in calling things ridiculous when they are ridiculous.
Yes, good point, Paula. Homosexuality happens in nature in a vast number species, and clearly happens naturally in humans. As I’ve said before, homosexuals don’t “choose” who they are attracted to any more than you did.
Are you serious about moving to LA or just joking? I didn’t see CHNW mentioned in the list, is she coming too? If you are serious, I’d recommend you find some temporary place to live, while you scout around for a more permanent location. There are many neighborhoods with differing vibes, so it might be hard to pick the one that fits you best from 3,000 miles away. You might like Silverlake, which is kind of artsy but not too close to the beach, or you might like one of the outlying areas closer to the beach, like Santa Monica or Venice, or you might like a place that isn’t part o LA proper, like downtown Long Beach. It’s a huge place that takes a while to get to know.
Good advice, thanks!
I love L.A. I’ve lived many beautiful places but will I’ll never live anywhere else – This place rocks. For artists and creatives – people who ‘get’ what life is about in these chosen professions – this is an awesome place with endless creative fodder and yes – we have beaches. Lots of ‘em. The challenge: finding an affordable place that will put you in proximity to the places you need to stay creatively alive. LA can be great – but for those of us relying on our environment to be creatively inspired enough to take our daily leap of faith required for survival, environment can be everything. Depending on what you require to remain creatively productive, which will either nurture or doom your stay in LA, one must choose area carefully. There are some who wake up at 5 a.m. for their journey to the raw food mecca followed by morning meditation on the beach. There are others who want the sushi bar and tattoo parlor to be within walking distance in the downtown hustle & bustle. There are places like Topanga Canyon where it’s peaceful and artists are everywhere. Chris B.’s advice was right on as to loft-style live/work spaces … but keep in mind that’s a very NY vibe. Since you’re moving to LA, you might find something completely different that suits these needs that is not in the more urban parts of town. Best advice – show up with an open mind and do some exploring. Hang out with some creative people. Find out what neighborhoods feel right. And most importantly…. Audition your landlord. Drop me an email if you want – I might have some more suggestions. Welcome to this crazy damn place … You’re going to love it.
No pigeons in San Diego anymore since the crows moved into the ‘hood (plenty of cartoon material there). Don’t know if the same phenomenon has permeated LA. San Diego is much nicer than LA for a whole bunch of reasons aside from the dearth of rats-of-the-air, but LA has more public transport. You’ll need that if you’ve only got a motorcycle. If you plan to bicycle, be prepared to have a full suit of armor on account of the rage infused drivers jealous of those who are able to ride bikes in the middle of the day.
The Beacon Arts Building – see the website link.
This is a converted moving company storage warehouse in Inglewood that now houses artist studios. Don’t believe people who’ll tell you that Inglewood is like a 1990′s LA gang movie. OK, Inglewood is not Beverly Hills, either, but you said affordable.
I grew up in Inglewood and remember as a kid riding my bike by the old Beacon storage building. I always imagined it to be haunted or an insane asylum … or both. I’m glad to see they did something creative with it.
That brick loft in LA? Not a good idea. Brick is a decorative element here in earthquake country, not a design element for multistory buildings. Loses some charm right there. AC in February, both in house and vehicle, necessary. No snopocalypse, no tornadoes, maybe hurricanes in future with climate change as they move North from Mexico. Wildfires and Santa Ana winds to escape from seasonally. Have you considered a bit farther South by the coast? You’d raise the IQ level.
when I saw that cartoon, I just wanted to slug the guy at the podium…please refer to previous posts I have written on your blog for statements about bigotry…I have quite a few choice words…..
my daughter moved to LA in July..we are from WI. she was in Burbank, but moved .. now her and her BF are living on Hollywood and Highland.. She says the bus service is better there,..she works at a place called the Flying Saucer Cafe….which I thought would be of special interest to you ; ) …. she’s walking everywhere..partly cuz the bus doesn’t get as far as she needs it to..but she says it’s cuz of the sun..so I guess thats one of the side effects of perpetual sunshine…she also lost 10 pounds… another side effect.. Well she says,” they have a mattress and boxspring..(but no bedding).. a roof over their head and food in their bellies, but would like a few more things to make life more comfortable.” DIRECT QUOTE! she also put on her FB page that anyone who wants to can come visit and sleep at their house…so maybe you could crash there for awhile..you’ll need a sleeping bag…and if you are bringing all that stuff when you hitchhike there, that’s real good cuz she needs some “things to make her life more comfortable”
My husband cracked up about the pigeon on steroids..” OMG, Super Pigeon!” he said. I know i’m always flooding your blog, but I can’t help myself..we both enjoyed the shoeless guy on the couch..our kids never saw us as authority figures either!
No need to apologize, love your comments!
LA??? Go north to the Bay Area. SF does not have the LA sun but it also does not have the NY weather. We lived out in the avenues (Sunset and Richmond districts) and we got sun from late morning until about 3 during the fog breaks. The eastern side does get more sun – Mission District or SOMA might be a great fit. I hear Oakland is popular with the the artist community and does not have the SF fog.
But LA??? Not sure a NYer would love the land of strip malls and plastic people.
I agree and like SF much more, but I’m trying to break into the TV animation biz and need to be in LA for a while, at least. Plus, SF isn’t the kind of heat and sun I crave. I’ve spent a lot of time there and it’s too cool and gloomy for me.
I was going to say you should move to Key West or the Everglades, but neither has a very active TV animation biz that I know of. However, if you change your mind on that point and still desire heat and sun – forget L.A. HEAT is in Florida. I can lose about 5 pounds within an hour just by standing outside. Free saunas everywhere.
Give the south bay (Sunnyvale/Mountain View/ San Jose) a shot- it has lots more sun than SF, but is still just a public transit trip away.
If we have a winter like last year, leave now!
Excellent idea, Cali., maybe SF though?
For LA I have 3 suggestions.
1. I really would recommend looking into a downtown loft. For about 6 months last year I stayed with a friend who lives there. It’s really becoming a thriving residential community there. Upsides: good subway access. Wide variety of choices. Pigeons. Downsides: parking can be tough if your bldg doesn’t have a lot. Film crews often in the way.
2. Silverlake. Very hipsterish, for good and bad. Lots of artists, eclectic folks very welcome. Upsides: hills. Weird friendly people. Pigeons. Downsides: Lots of traffic. Some grody areas.
3. Venice. Very hip laid back area. It’s become quite commercialised though. Starting to look lime a swap meet. Upsides: very strange people. Beach. Stereotypical Venice stuff. Pigeons. Downsides: TRAFFIC. Holy jeeze. And I have heard it is very expensive to live there. Not a starving artist Mecca anymore.
I hope you come out for a week to scout out the city. It’s so sprawling and diverse that there is definitely somewhere you will feel completely at home. Even if you don’t want to live in the middle of everything, there are smaller suburbs that are just 10 minutes out of the city. They will be quieter and more “neighbourhoodlike”.
We have lots of pigeons, crows, seagulls, and finches. Take your pick.
I’m super excited that you are considering coming out here. I’ve lived here my whole life and I love it.
I would like to add that most downtown lofts are NOT brick. Many are in very old, very solid former office buildings and hotels. Brickface, concrete walls. The building I lived in was built in 1906 and is SOLID. Most of the masonry buildings out here have to be retrofitted and reinforced per earthquake building codes anyway. We have earthquakes and we build for them.
Thanks for the advice, Kat. I’ll keep it on file!
First of all, AWESOME. LA would love to have you.
I would recommend picking up the most recent LA Lonely Planet.
It’s full of tourist type stuff, but also give great break downs of different
sections and neighborhoods in LA (tips, crime, veg places, etc….)
Depending what kind of grove you’re looking for…. restaurants,
bars/clubs, people, beach access, hipsters, air quality, apartment
life or single family home rentals, accessibility with or without cars
strong heat or ocean breezes……there’s plenty of options.
quality of homes / apartments can change on a dime from block
to block in almost every section/neighborhood you visit in LA.
Coastal: Feels good to live near the beach.
Santa Monica: more expensive (equal or less than NY, I’d imagine), fancy people,
great places dine, high in tourist action in summer months. best air and sunsets in LA.
Venice: hip artists and well to dos, to strung out skaters… can be pricey depending
on what kind of living space you want to be in, but one of the cooler neighborhoods
in LA and close to the beach with plenty of scenes.
There are some great places to rent in near by communities 3 and 5 miles east of the beach,
Culver City, Mar Vista / Palms / Brentwood. More young professionals and families.
Just far enough from the action of the beach, but close enough to hop on the bike and spend the day in the sand.
Valley:
Studio City / Sherman Oaks: quick access to canyons and hollywood…. a little more
breathing room for parking and just getting around town. A lot of great places to dine…
without the craziness of hollywood and tourism. Get’s F’ing hot in the summer and
air quality isn’t the greatest the further you get east. You’ll get a lot more space for
your money when it comes to square footage. You’ll need a car. Going to the
beach is usually an all day activity.
Echo Park / Silver Lake: this is where the house flippers love to work. tons of old places
being fixed up and sold or rented to hipsters, artists, industry people for affordable rates
with usually great square footage. It’s far from the beach, takes some time to get into hollywood,
close to downtown. Get’s very hot in the summer, air quality is less than great. A lot
of veggie restaurants seem to be popping up. If you don’t have to commute to the
coast, west hollywood.. it’s a cool place to buy.
Los Feliz (swingers the movie) is near by too… close to Griffith park for hiking and such.
hipsters with more cash.
Also near the Pasadena, another hot weather family community with pottery barn like downtown.
Downtown: up and coming. it’s been in renovation for the past decade and have some great
lofts in old time buildings. the PD has done a good job getting a lot of the homeless away from
new living spaces. Great restaurants, feels more like city life of NY or SF. A lot of artists and actors
floating around with their tiny dogs looking for any type of small patch of grass to pee on. May
occasionally encounter some crack heads yelling down the street at 3am. Good access to public transpo
for getting into certain parts of hollywood.
Hollywood:
this place can be a zoo… lots of tourism, road closures around certain areas for shooting and premieres.
crime varies, places to eat are cool, comedy clubs, douche bags from all over come to party down in
their short mini skirts and rayon shirts on friday and sat night. you have to want to really be in it
to want to hang here.
West Hollywood / Miracle mile:
Safety in numbers.. large gay population in weho, large jewish population in inner hollywood / miracle mile and
surrounding… because of these numbers, these neighborhoods usually have a pretty good vibe in the late
hours. loads of restaurants, museums, traffic, action. Public transpo is on buses, but walking places doesn’t
appear to be an issue for daily needs. Parking can be a challenge.
Need more, feel free email me… I got some work to do.
San Francisco bay area native, LA vegetarian entertainment industry resident for 7 years.
I’ve lived in Santa Monica, Downtown, Studio City and Mar Vista. I have friends that live
in almost every neighborhood in LA and visit often. restaurants, small musical venues, quite
bars, comedy clubs, movie theaters are my thing.
cheers and good luck Dan. I look forward to seeing you around.
bob
Thanks for the breakdown, Bob. I’ll keep it on file as I make my decisions!
also….
Rental Websites for homes and apartments:
Westside Rentals : $60 for 2 months
Craigslist
Oh-oh. I think with the the appearance of the man at the podium, who easily displays the white male power structure in this country, you have just introduced to the right, and far right, Tea Party, conservative, evangelical, “christian”(like they have any idea what that word means) base their next power talking point. Can’t wait to see which of the 100 republican candidates starts using it first.
OMG I totally forgot to tell you the most important thing!!!!My Daughter, Lindsey, (the one in LA with no sheets or pillowcases) first turned me onto you years ago…SHE loves your comics and now your a family affair at my house…(But we are nothing like the Family Affair with Uncle Bill and Mr. French the man servant, living in the high rise apt.)
Dan,
I hope you do make it out here, find a good place to live and achieve your industry goals. I think you’ll find a lot of people out here to be pretty easy going, especially as you get closer to the beaches. I have a good friend who lived here for 10 years before moving back to Connecticut. His friends there worry about him being too easy going now. California apparently “ruined” his outlook such that he can’t generate enough indignant outrage about local and national issues. Be forewarned ;-)
I’m looking forward to the “easy going” thing. New Yorkers are not know for that. :o)
Remember: Barack Obama is opposed to gay marriage and adoption. Gary Johnson, however, believes same-sex couples have the right to marry and adopt children.
Obama doesn’t “beleive” that, he only says he does so that he does not lose any chance of winning another election. It’s a sad reality of a nation with so many superstitious boobs. Gary Johnson may be a terrific fella, but he’ll be lucky to come in third.
But if Obama is so willing to sell out his principles, does he deserve re-election when there’s a much better candidate out there who will stick up for the right thing?
Whether anyone is willing to “stick up for the right thing” once they are in office remains to be seen. And the unsavory fact is that no candidate outside of the two major parties has a chance in hell of winning a national election. It’s just throwing your vote away out of principle. Which is fine if you want to do that, but you should know that’s what you’re doing.
I’d rather “waste” my vote and stick up for my principles than sell them out.
On a similar note, here’s an article which says that Obama has been as bad for civil liberties as Bush was. Make of that what you will.
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/09/the-civil-libertarian-backlash-against-obama-2012-begins/245894/
Sorry, wrong link posted in the last article. Here’s the one I was referring to.
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/09/the-civil-libertarian-backlash-against-obama-2012-begins/245894/
Damn, wrong one again. Why isn’t the link working.
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-turley-civil-liberties-20110929,0,7542436.story
This is the right one.
Dunno about LA (being an Aussie, I could tell you where to live in Melbourne and that’s about it) but … squeeee! … Harold Lloyd, 2nd funniest silent comedian :-)
So you would move from NY to LA. That sounds like going from bad to worse to me. Those places are just too big for me. Have you considered the midwest? Indianapolis has pigeons like crazy downtown and the rents are very low compared to the coasts. You can still enjoy a cigar at certain establishments. And we are only a 30 minute drive from being able to hear people speak like Jed Clampett on the Beverly Hillbillies. Yee Haw! The Indiana State Fair is the best (Trust me).
I grew up in the middle of the country and while I have some affection for aspects of that life, it really isn’t me. I need to be in a big city with lots going on and plenty of liberal people. But thanks for the offer. I visited Indianapolis one time for few days and had a really great time there. Loved it, in fact. :o)
Fair enough. Come on back soon and do your show here. I will be there.
Dan, as a big fan of your work and as a resident of LA for 15 years now (orig Denver CO), I think Bob’s advice above is most accurate. My gf and I live in West Hollywood, a place i’d recommend, ‘cept it’s 10mi from the beach. If that’s too far away from the water, maybe a place in Marina Del Rey, very close to the water but not as gentrified as Venice. And a pigeon or two.
John
Looove the divorce cartoon! Funny as hell! (I’m counting on hell being funny, as I am most unlikely to go to heaven). I hope you’re well. Sounds like a radical move. All the best! xx
I think Santa Monica still has rent control. My brother lives there, in a two bedroom duplex and his rent is amazingly cheap. Not sure how you go about finding a rent control apartment (’cause everybody’s gotta want one), but getting one would sure help an artist’s cash flow.
Mr. Piraro,
Somewhat off-topic, but just FYI a caller today — an older woman whose friends have suffered the indignity of falling into a stoop with age — thought the Sept. 29 strip was in very poor taste and mocked those who suffer a bone disorder.
I told her I’d relay the message, and now I hope I have.
Bruce Ross
Redding Record Searchlight
PS: Love your work.
Hi Dan,
You’ve received a lot of good suggestions for places to live in L.A. I’m more concerned for you about your interest in animation. It’s a brutal industry. I would be wary unless you’re coming to it as a producer of your own project. I’d suggest talking to some people in the L.A. Branch of the NCS, or members of CAPS, or someone in the Animation Guild (the animation union). Good luck.
Regards, Gary
Thanks, Gary. I know what you mean and I am approaching it with care. I’ve got some good contacts who are helping me with my own project. Still a million to one shot, but worth a try.
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