Bizarro is brought to you today by Herpetological Coif.
Hello, Bizarro Jazz Pickles. Today I bring you one of my favorite gags in a while, the “Planet of the Apps.” Early on, I tried to remain free from the reach of cell phones, but like most human earthlings, I failed. I was among the last in my circle of friends and relatives to get a phone (around 2001), insisting that I didn’t want to be that accessible. Once I got one, of course, I couldn’t remember how I lived without it.
When the “app” craze hit, I stayed mostly clear of those, too. I downloaded an orangutan that moves its lips when you talk so it looks like the ape is saying whatever you’re saying. That was hilariously good fun for a few days. Then I got some practical ones for things like weather and info. “Shazam” was a good acquisition because I’m always coming across songs on TV or in movies that I want to identify and I still use it all the time. Then I made the mistake of downloading “Angry Birds,” and now I’m hooked. I refuse to download any other game because I already waste too much time playing that one. That’s why I included the ape with the hat and glasses above. I’m so ashamed.
Another cartoon about cell phones is this one which requires the reader to do a little bit of “thought acting.” To understand the gag, you have to read the lines two different ways: the first one is spoken calmly as if the person’s voice at the other end is not coming through clearly, the second line is in disbelief because the person at the other end of the conversation is breaking up their relationship with Mr. Green Jacket. This does, indeed, show the power of punctuation. I’m guessing italics are not really considered punctuation, but it plays an important role in getting the gag, too. This is the kind of cartoon that usually attracts an email or two from an English teacher saying that they used the cartoon in class. I’m always happy to hear that. It’s SO much better than hearing from a mad scientist who tells me he has used one of my cartoons to destroy Metropolis. Not cool, dude.
Lastly, I offer you this photo of a Bizarro Jazz Pickle named Louise. She is a python and has appeared on this blog before. In this photo she is using my new book, “Bizarro Heroes” to distract herself as she sheds. Yet another use for this fine comic art product that makes the perfect gift for anyone you can think of for any reason. Louise found out about it here.
Ever wonder what someone who is not a Bizarro Jazz Pickle is called? The answer.
crap monkey…. makes me happy to be a jazz pickle
“Jazz Pickle” would make an awesome t-shirt… as would “Naked Crap Monkey”… his and her t-shirts, perhaps, for the couple who is divided over whether you are the amazingest cartoonist on the planet (of the apps) or not.
I don’t want to repeat myself, and yet I do: I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed at Planet of the Apps. Pure genius.
Also, you only lasted until 2001 without a cellphone?? You mean 201o, right? I made it until 2008, for the very same reasons you mention. I feel superior… it’s just like the “We don’t have a tv” cartoon you did recently… I guess the height of superior, stuck-up, judgemental attitude would be to say condescendingly “I have no ears”….
At the time, 2001 seemed incredibly late. I was the only person I knew who didn’t have one. :o)
Planet of the Apps. Love it, especially now that I have a paying gig programming apps (my own app Dominid was definitely not a for profit effort ;-) . I shall pass this around the office and brine some more jazz pickles for you Dan. Although knowing the salty bunch I work with, I would be surprised if they weren’t already quite pickled.
I’ve ordered all your books that are currently available and under $50. Looking at the prices of some of your older books on amazon it looks like they’re a good read and a good investment ($410!).
Love the apes-cracked up the spousal unit with a stiff bar for comedy and word play. Congrats ~!
I want to be a jazz dill pickle.
It’s a free country. :o)
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I second the Jazz Pickle T-shirt idea, perhaps one that says, “If you don’t know why I’m happy to be a Jazz Pickle, then you MUST be a Naked Crap Monkey!”
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AHHHHH! those damn angry birds! (and to hell with those pigs too!) how many days have i wasted playing that game! (must get 3 stars… MUST GET 3 STARS!) perhaps we should start some kinda support group, for i admit that i am powerless against those birds. and pigs, too.
i can’t wait for the next version!