Nightmare Depression Restroom Tornado


(To see this cartoon all big like an elephant, click on the cable connector on the back of the TV)

Bizarro is brought to you by Nightmares.

We’ve all felt sorry for a small chair as an extremely heavy person sits on it, and that empathy for inanimate objects was what led me to muse about things common household furniture might fear or dread. Of course, I know that inanimate objects are not sentient and have no feelings but by “chair,” I mean “child,” and who hasn’t felt sorry for a child being sat upon by a large adult? Perhaps my sensitivity in this area comes from personal experience; my parents were very poor when my siblings and I were young and could not afford furniture, so they sat on us.. They couldn’t afford children, either, but until they figured out where we were coming from, they just kept having them. It was painful at times, yes, but it also brought us closer together as a family.

I’ve also experienced a lot of personal angst and sadness when viewing beer commercials. Nothing in my life has ever been as much fun as most people in beer commercials seem to be having on a moment-to-moment basis. Am I not good looking enough? Did I go to the wrong college? Am I living in the wrong part of the country? Where is this beer-related fun being had and how can I crowbar my way into it? Of course, part of it may be the brand of beer I’m drinking. Most of the really great times on beer commercials seem to happen to people drinking weak, diet, American, mass-produced beer like Coors Light. So the question is, am I willing to drink watered-down dog pee to have that much fun? I guess I just answered my own question.

The term “co-ed” is antiquated and offensive when used to describe a female college student. It’s been decades since women were allowed into most men-only universities so it’s something of a dying term, but here the ridiculousness takes the sting out of the sexism. At least that was my plan. If you’re still offended, by all means write a very angry, incoherent letter to me about it. I use those in my comedy shows.



This cartoon incorporates the simplest of puns but it’s not one I’ve seen before and the picture makes it work, I think. I haven’t been to a Wendy’s in probably 15 years (here’s one reason why) but I remembered enough about the way their products look to fill the air with delectable tidbits of menu items. I always enjoy drawing crazy action scenes like this. One of my favorites was a tornado cartoon I did as seen from above, inside the tornado. If my filing system made any damn sense at all, I’d look that up right now and link to it.

You can get it on some cool products.

You can get it in books.

You can get it if he can.



30 thoughts on “Nightmare Depression Restroom Tornado

  1. Furniture Nightmares and Beer Commercials in my future….Tragedy is a joke for which we lack the punchline.

  2. Pingback: Nightmare Depression Restroom Tornado « Humor

  3. Here is one of my top 100 favorite songs of all time, performed by Godley & Creme (who were original members of the band 10cc and who had a minor hit late in their career with the song “Cry” and its video). It’s called I Pity Inanimate Objects. I believe you might enjoy the lyrics as well as the overall weirdness of it.

    Or you may not. In any case, I think you can guess how it all relates to today’s post.

    Thanks for your continued funniness!

  4. best part of my day, again. I can relate to the furniture…. the guy on the couch and the people holding on for dear life, similtaneously…..these are really funny cartoons..if your in a good place.. ….really dark humor if your in a bad place….either way they work……the Windys drawing is so fun….and I really dig the furniture nightmares…”magical thinking”…. David Sedaris

  5. oops… Augusten Burroughs…. I knew I wrote the wrong author right after I clipped post…two of my favorites…. i was at a book signing of A.B., have an autographed copy of ‘DRY’ he also did a reading… I have a pic of my daughter and I with him.. He drew a big martini glass next to his autograph

    • Not fair, really – the Curmudgeon exists to make fun of awful comics. Dan’s seldom mentioned there because he is so seldom awful. His name comes up fairly frequently in the comments, though, usually in the context of “doing it right”.

  6. I liked the subtle menu board in the Windy’s cartoon, with all its corpse items. Knowing your thoughts on the use of animals for food, this makes total sense.

  7. This is off-topic from this post but I guess this would be the best place to get a response.

    On we’ve got one of your images up on a page (this image: on this page: Whoever put that image up didn’t ask for your permission, so I’m asking for it now. If you are happy with the image on that page, we’ll say it was made by you underneath with a link to this website. If not, we’d be happy to remove it.

    Thank you.

  8. I really loved Windy’s, partly just because of the silliness, but also because of the people in it. The poor cashier *has* to be there, but the customers presumably are volunteers! The things people will pay good money for… In your blog text, I assumed your link to the reason you don’t go would be something cow-related. No dice! (An odd phrase, if you ask me.) But then I saw the menu and grinned all over again.

    Finally, in the happiness comic, I really liked how the patient’s right foot is tucked under his left leg. Somehow that really intensifies the poor guy’s angst.

    Thanks, as always.

  9. I just noticed that in the Windy’s gag, the eye and the pie are getting blown away but the dynamite is pegged solidly against the menu in an intransigent posture. Probably means nothing. Sometimes a pipe is a just a pipe, and sometimes it is a curved, unevenly hollowed out bit of hardwood with dried leaves tamped in the big end and lit on fire.

  10. Love them all as always..Had my own thought of/saw your bunny of exuberance in my mind blowing by in air with other objects gazing @ menu cynically(& decidedly UNexuberantly ) in “Windys” toon.. :0)

  11. Hmmm, so the tv only sees or reflects a perfect life which is unattainable but the poor abused furniture knows the truth….

  12. Pingback: Furniture Nightmares | LauraJul

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