Cat Blood Sandwich

Bizarro is brought to you today by Pride.

In a couple hours I’m off on my mini comedy tour of northern California and Portland, Oregon. I hope it goes well, I hope I see some of you Jazz Pickles at the shows, I hope I find a bag of untraceable money that no one will ever know I have. That would be the perfect trip.

When I say “mini comedy tour,” I mean that the tour is mini, not the comedy. The comedy is HUGE. It barely fits in my checked luggage, in fact.

Someone asked me recently why those toothpicks with the celophane feathers are in sandwiches. This first cartoon is the image that resulted.

This political campaign cartoon seems just right as lots of candidates are on the road kissing babies these days. If Mitt Romney kisses your kid and then it comes down with a cold, feel free to sue him. I’ve heard he has a lot of money. This cartoon came from my known associate, Wayno. Here are some words that he put together to describe our collaboration.

If you’re lucky enough to have type O blood, you can use this pun next time you’re at the doctor or donating to a vampire food bank. O negative blood type is sometimes called “universal donor” because doctors working in Area 51 back in the 1950s used it to save that alien they captured from that crashed UFO. I can’t say for sure that that is true, but I bet it is.

Gotta pack now. I’ll try to blog in the coming days, but if I don’t, please don’t hate me. I live for the approval of strangers.

 

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This entry was posted in animals, appearances, comedy shows, daily Bizarros, history, politics, wayno and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Cat Blood Sandwich

  1. Stacy Carson says:

    I hope that our brief correspondence that one time doesn’t dampen the ‘stranger-ness’ of me, and therefore the vitality you might achieve from receiving my approval. Because you do, indeed, have it.

    (Great find on the Pride image, btw!)

  2. Pingback: Cat Blood Sandwich « Humor

  3. Tom says:

    Sorry my mug won’t be displayed in your audiences but I’ll try to arrange a bag of untraceable money instead, okay? :o)

    Best wishes for a bang-up, razzle-dazzle tour, amigo!

  4. Hugh B Hayve says:

    “I always get a club sandwich and I don’t know how I get away with it, I’m not even a member.” – Mitch Hedberg

  5. What would Paul Bunyan’s outhouse look like? Or did he just squat over a river?

    My wife asked me this.

  6. Indi says:

    Cat Blood Sandwich. Or in the words or Homer J. Simpson, “mmmm … cat blood sandwich …”

  7. Julie Torres says:

    The “alien” made me laugh out loud. Of course, now it all makes sense.

  8. Hermite says:

    Hey Dan, you got a nice little plug from Jim Hightower today.

    http://www.hightowerlowdown.org/node/2973

    Break a leg out there.

  9. Katherine says:

    Thanks for your awesome show in SF tonight! I laughed my ass off!

  10. G.M. Smith says:

    Oh my god… that toothpick cartoon made me laugh so hard. It is genius. Dan, you are the best!

  11. joanne says:

    Funny Dan today! : )

    here’s my turn to make you smile

    http://youtu.be/viy56z8d5IA

  12. angad says:

    Ohh Dan !

    Y u no post on bizarroadult ?

    • Piraro says:

      Have had some issues with my agent and manager. They think it could harm my ability to get an animated TV show on the air if I’m posting “porn” humor, so they convinced me to wait until I’m such a huge, famous, Hollywood juggernaut that no one can tell me what to do. :o)

  13. Anne M Shapiro says:

    Hope your shows went well. Just curious if you got a chance to check out the Elbo Room on Valencia in SF.

    Anne

    • Piraro says:

      Sadly, I did not. But several of my friends said it is a wonderful place and definitely worth a visit. I’ll hit it next time. This trip I was pretty much working all night every night.

  14. Bill Costa says:

    Oh lord, I loved the toothpick/sandwich gag. I read the comics in my local paper every day. (Yes, I still actually subscribe to a physical newspaper!) There are several regular strips that I like and follow, but Bizarro is almost the only one that on occasion makes me literally laugh out loud. This gag was one of them. I consider myself fortunate that I wasn’t drinking my proverbial milk at the time, or my girlfriend would have had a very damp paper to read.

  15. Gnarly says:

    Did you get a chance to enjoy brunch at Portobello while in Portland, or hit up any of our other fine vegan establishments?

    • Piraro says:

      We had some terrific food and drink while in Portland, thanks for your suggestions. Going to Portobello didn’t work out logistically, but we hit Vita Cafe, Red and Black, Sweet Hereafter, and of course we stopped at the “vegan mall” and got some shirts at Herbivore, some pastries at Sweet Pea Bakery, some snacks at Food Fight, etc. Also had a pretty dandy burrito at Laughing Planet.

  16. Steve says:

    The brilliance is too consistent – I fear that you are the Illuminati or perhaps an alien with deep and frightening subliminal agendas.

    But for the time being, am I allowed to copy/paste individual cartoons to my facebook page? I’ll add a Bizarro Comics byline, or whatever you like.

    • Piraro says:

      Yes, as long as it is a personal page and not a company or for-profit organization of some sort. If you’d just link them to my FB page, that would be great. Facebook.com/bizarrocomics

      • Steve says:

        Thank you. I recently put an old business card on my Facebook header ( facebook.com/pa34008 ), but it is strictly a non-business site – I am 40yrs familiar with the applicable etiquette, so will always err towards integrity. As promised: a FB link and/or by-line to your blog with each post.

        . . . keep thinking Butch, that’s what you’re good at”

        -SS

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