Bizarro is brought to you today by Not Very Smart Car.
I’ve been a bad vegan today. I am sitting outside on my patio by the pool (I don’t have a pool, but I can tell by the sounds I hear that there is one just on the other side of the giant hedge that separates my tiny back yard from the house’s behind me) answering emails and writing this blog. A small housefly kept landing on my arm and bugging the crap out of me (which is what they do and where the verb “bug” came 
from) and I got fed up and smacked him. Okay, I smacked at him about 30 times before I finally connected, but the end result is the same: now it’s dead. Bad vegan. Bad!
Another verb of interest today is “concentrate.” If you’re a school teacher, you could use this orange juice cartoon as a lesson about nouns and verbs. Kids like cartoons better the sound of teacher’s voices so why not give it a try? As long as you’re not making a profit from this use, I can allow it free of charge!
This final cartoon about Mr. Coffee doesn’t actually make any sense, so don’t bother writing to me and asking what it means. It means what it looks like it means. Not much. But it is an amusing picture so just be satisfied with that for now. Perhaps a deeper meaning will occur to you after several cups of coffee, or later in life after some kind of major life-changing experience. How do I know? I’m just a cartoonist.
As a personal thanks to you, my precious readers, I would like to offer you a chance to own this limited edition Bizarro cartoon book. It is “limited” because they will only print them as long as people keep buying them. Once they don’t see any reasonable progress in sales, they’ll take it out of print. Voila! Limited edition.
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Well, at least you didn’t eat the bug. Then you would have been a *really* bad vegan.
How does swatting an annoying insect make you a bad vegan? You didn’t EAT it, did you? Just let it drop to the ground and the ants will think you’re God. Unless they’re vegan, of course, in which case they’ll just have to make do with whatever they can find on their own.
I think Mr Coffee was seeing the doctor because of a nagging coff.
Looks like Mr. Coffee might be a relative of Too Much Coffee Man: http://images.darkhorse.com/common/salestools/previews/tmcmhbh/tmcmhbhp3.jpg
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How can the death of a disease-spreading pest (when not on the dogpoop they consume) be bad? I call it selfdefense & declare you absolved. Mosquitoes are terminated on sight where I live. At least flies have a useful function in the ecology of waste management; their earthbound analog, scarab beetles, were held sacred by the ancient Egyptians for their usefulness in composting human & animal feces. Has anybody figured out what good other than goad mosquitoes are?
Bumpersnicker: Drive around others the way you want others to drive around you!
I agree.
My wife and I just discussed this morning that we drink to much coffee. You are what you….
Hi Dan,
love your work of course and visit all the time. Just want to comment on your self-recriminations regarding killing a fly. I would say you can maintain your Vegan status intact and stop beating yourself up because you did not actually EAT the fly. (You didn’t eat it, did you??)
Keep up the good work and don’t eat any more flies.
I’m so extremely lucky–I get Bizarro every day in the Tampa Bay Times–it’s the first thing I look at!!!
Bless you!
Great Mr. Coffee comic. I like ones in which I am drawn to the dialog first, then glance at the artwork, then “get it”. This one made me laugh out loud, while sitting in my office alone drinking a cup of coffee.