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It’s been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, but I don’t live in Lake Wobegon and that’s one reason why I haven’t posted on this blog all week. I live in LA and it’s been busy here. Since I last posted, Rodney King died. I rioted for three days but no one noticed. After that, Jerry Sandusky was found guilty on 45 of the 48 charges he was on trial. YES! I knew that charge 47 was bogus! When I heard the verdict, I considered rioting again, just for good measure, but I was still tired from the Rodney King thing.
1. I had a bunch of good panhandler jokes so I combined them into one job fair setting. It doesn’t make sense literally but I like it anyway.
2. Please don’t feel sorry for the man with the bandage or the birds in this cartoon. They are only drawings.
3.This nursing home of the future shows the positions our bodies will grow into as we spend years staring at our cell phones. Of course, this won’t have time to happen to most of us because in a couple years we’ll all be communicating telepathically via a chip implanted in our skull. Apple and Microsoft are both working on this technology. I recommend getting the Apple version or you’ll find yourself crashing and getting lots of viruses.
5. Coal mimer is a great pun that I wish I’d thought of. It was sent to me by my young genius friend, Victor. Thanks, Victor! He just got back from a college trip to Europe where people laughed at him openly for wearing overalls with no shirt, a big floppy hat, and a piece of straw sticking out of his mouth. (He’s from a hillbilly place in North Carolina.)
6. I think it is ironic that the one thing you are not allowed to store in your self storage unit is yourself.
7. Let’s make some turns.
Sorry for this week’s brevity. Exciting things are happening at Bizarro International Headquarters and they’ve kept me as busy as a DEA agent at Grateful Dead concert.
Did you know I have a Bizarro iPhone app?