French Wine Vote Flash Bowl

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hamsters Gone Wild.

Here in the United States of America, we celebrate our Independence from British tyranny each July 4th. We do this by staging mock, decorative war in the skies over our towns and cities. If these faux wars are this beautiful, imagine how breathtaking real war must be!

Speaking of independence, the U.S. would not have gained its when it did had it not been for help from France. Even so, many readers did not understand the cartoon above. It is simple wordplay, actually: One person like that is a “frant,” many of them are “frants,” which, said aloud, sounds like “France.” That’s all there is to it; if you still don’t get it, move on.

Here’s one that has to do with wine. If you’re not familiar with the grown-up grape juice not sold to minors, the deal is that when you first open a bottle, it has to “breathe” before you drink it. Well, it doesn’t have to, but it will taste better of you let the air get to it for a few minutes. It’s not really breathing––which is why this cartoon makes no sense at all. Why would you put an inanimate object on a respirator? It’s ridiculous. But my known associate, Wayno, got this idea and wanted me to draw it, threatening to tell the world what he knows about my great uncle Leo’s association with the Nazi Party. (He fought against them in WWII.) Still makes no sense to me, though. Maybe Wayno makes sense of it on his blog.

Judging by things I’ve seen around town, I suspect this is an election year. Accordingly, here is a cartoon that hints at the basic level of distrust we have for politicians here in the U.S.  Personally, I think politicians get a bad rap. I mean, here they are just trying to become rich and powerful and maybe accidentally help somebody along the way if it furthers their career, and we thank them by making fun. We should be ashamed.

This cartoon makes a pun of the term “flash.” A flash card is one that you “flash” at a child to see how quickly they can regurgitate the answer. But “flashing” can also mean exposing your private parts in public. By the way, this kind of multiplication flash card was popular when I was a kid. Nowadays, they just teach kids to use the calculator on their cell phone to come up with the answer. Some people are against kids using this kind of short cut but I say let them. Not awfully long ago all children were taught how to build a fire to cook dinner with but ovens, stoves, and microwaves put an end to that. Now if they’d just include a microwave function on a cell phone.

Are you a bowler? Are you in a league? How can you be sure you’re not in league with the devil? You can’t, and that’s just one of the innumerable exciting things about hanging out in bowling alleys.

Please buy my books.

Please buy some prints or T-shirts or blanket wraps with Bizarro cartoons on them.

Please display your patriotism responsibly.

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23 Responses to French Wine Vote Flash Bowl

  1. Pingback: French Wine Vote Flash Bowl « Humor

  2. Cooperphile says:

    I want Satan’s shirt. Make it happen, Dannykins.

  3. Kitty Alone says:

    Hey Dan

    No need to explain the comics. They are righteously funny without explanation.

  4. d.g.spillman says:

    In league with the devil, best of the bunch, gotta get the mug.

  5. Daniel says:

    12 x 5 = 60

  6. Jym Dyer says:

    =v= The first one reminds me of a Kliban cartoon, in which the first panel was a fence picket with the caption, “Fent.” The second panel is left as an exercise for the reader.

    • Piraro says:

      Good catch. As I mentioned in another comment a moment ago, the “Frant” gag is a tribute to my favorite cartoonist, B. Kliban.

  7. I like the effect of the bare feet on the flash card (and of course the jackboots on the one-eyed Jack) but that hamster in “Hamsters Gone Wild” is kinda gross.

  8. Craig L says:

    The Frant/Frants comic reminded me of something and I just realized what it was:

    http://www.langsyne.net/images/fent.jpg

    by Kliban

  9. Joe Finnerty says:

    Love your cartoons, but I think you have drawn the Devil’s approach to the bowling alley incorrectly. Right handed bowlers lead with their left leg, dragging their right leg behind them as the ball is tossed or rolled.

    • Piraro says:

      Well, yes and no. What I’ve done here is depict the Devil in his second step in the approach, during which the ball is back and the same-side foot is forward. What looks odd about it, though, is that he is too far back on the alley to have reached his second step. I’m calling it “artistic license.” :o)

  10. Indi says:

    “In league with the devil” … gosh, that explains so much about bowling.

  11. Alex says:

    About the wine bottle cartoon: I think it’s a lovely idea, but I must admit that I like Wayno’s setup better, because of the idea to actually place a sommelier near the bed. Usually, there are relatives standing around the bed in a hospital, and the person most related to a bottle of wine would be a sommelier. Of course, the main “actor” in this piece is the doctor, so the sommelier would have had to be placed more discreetely than in Wayno’s version.

  12. John Golden says:

    Thought this quote was begging for a cartoon.

    “Machines take me by surprise with great frequency.” – Alan Turing

    And you might be the kind of cartoonist that helps out a quotation in need.

  13. Sullivan de la Chapell says:

    YEAH ! moving ! (my wife’s hummin’ in the kitchen while I,m writting this)

    just got back from Europe, it was VERY nice to meet my bride’s family for the 1st time since we wedded LAST YEAR (06-25-2011)…

    now THE story:

    In Rome, at the airport, major JOKE and cartoon-y-worthy :

    a man sittin’ by two luggages high suitcase-pilled-up ; he decide to replace the stack, and the top bag fall directly on my foot (waitin’ in line to boarding); next, he immediately look at his camera recorder to see if it’s not broken, you see…

    I reply to him in a flash : you don’t seem to wonder to much of my foot do you…?!?!?

    He said what…? Yeah !!! it fell right on my foot,I said, it almost broked it…!!!

    _I didn’t wait to say to him that I didn’t want to be rude but it hurts really you know…(hahaha) … is you camera allright and I’m pussing it to be fair…(hahaha) from IOWA the gentleman in his 70′s, I said to him, that I obviously like to through good jokes around when it’s possible,

    now in the instance, I,d like to thank Pizzaro hummm,…Bizzaro for the quality of his work and sensitivity of subtile matters which I’ve noticed for a year or two in the papers published but also here on the web…so many thanks to you Dan !

    If you can use the joke to a drawin’ pleadge-worthy to me probably…well do so…

    And so sharp

    continue the good work ! ! !

    Sylvain

    p.s. I once had the same kind of misshabs; A cute female about 21y/o hit my car right on the driver side door and immediatly run to see the damage on her car…I was badly hurt, I coundn’t say at the time that her perspective and innocent ways where hurting me more deeply in a sens of the non-sens brought up to me exactly by comparing the pain of a human beeing to the cold sensless steel coat that she’s probably and innocently-steel-wairin’ today, you know…probably not ( forgive my french_frants-ly speakin’ from Québec ! ! ! )

    p.s. any idea if you’re visiting Montreal soon?!?!?!?!

  14. Pingback: Immortal Bowl | Broadsheet.ie

  15. Lynn says:

    The bowling cartoon is my all time favorite!

    It sums up all of those moments of revelation where things are obviously not what they seem to be but you have no idea what that actually means or what if anything you should do about it.

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