Nasal Thief Vacancy

Bizarro is brought to you today by Nasal Technology.

As a person with a prominent, Mediterranean profile, I got used to jokes about my nose many years ago. At first it embarrassed me but I grew out of that pretty quickly and realized if I laughed along with others, it took the sting out of being teased. Now I really like my giant schnoz and feel it gives me character. Take that, Brad Pitt!

I also like cartoon characters with big noses so I draw them a lot. I’m pretty sure that this cartoon has more than I’ve ever drawn before.

 

Our next cartoon asks the question, do banks still have bags with $ signs on them in case they are robbed? It’s been ages since I’ve robbed a bank so I honestly have no idea.

 

 

 

 

 

Last in today’s Komedy Kavalcade of Kookiness is this cartoon about a guy, again with a big McSniffer, who has a troubling medical condition called “empty headedness.” I feel bad not only for him but for the rest of us, too, for he is still eligible to vote.

If you have a joke about big noses or a favorite kind of nose, tell me about it in the comments section. Or anything else on your mind, assuming you don’t have the condition this poor schmuck suffers from.

 

Yes, a Bizarro book makes an excellent gift for all occasions other than funerals.

 

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25 Responses to Nasal Thief Vacancy

  1. Yessenia ErthOne says:

    I never realy got teased for my big nose, because my crooked teeth got all the attention. I was given the nick name “Sharky” in high school. The biggest problem I had was when I tried to cover my smile with my hands, I had very big masculine hands that set up for even more jokes…you can say, a had big rugged shark fins hahaha…:P

  2. Cathy Toms says:

    Have you done one with a guy

    wearing two or three pairs of glasses, commenting how well his bi-/tri-focals are working?

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  4. rubber_wonder_boy says:

    What about crooked schnozes?

    I’m glad that I can wear contacts. When I where glasses, it’s easier to tell that my nose is slightly crooked.

    But then again, maybe that helps to explain why I hate photos of myself; I end up looking like a Picasso – it seems both eyes are on one side of my nose!

    • Piraro says:

      My nose is crooked, too, but I don’t think anyone other than I notices, really. I jumped into the shallow end of a swimming pool when I was 16 and hit bottom. It crushed my nose flat against my face. And I mean FLAT. They had to call in a plastic surgeon to fix it, the ER docs wouldn’t touch it. Fortunately, he did a great job and put it back where it was and in mostly the same shape. It’s just a little off center. I can’t tell you how relieved my mother was when the bandages came off and I looked human again. :o)

  5. Kai says:

    This is one of your better ones, in my opinion. You got me good with the eye chart one. Actually, I think these three really do a fine prep-carry-and-deliver. It’s like a recipe for split gut! Mmm.

  6. Pluggy says:

    If he had no brain he would not be able to figure out the bad news

  7. Pingback: Nasal Thief Vacancy « What I see, what I feel, what I'd like to see…

  8. Lydia says:

    Comment on noses (though not a joke, I apologize) I’ve heard it said that as you age elastin and collagen (proteins of some sort?) break down and your nose loses elasticity to make it look bigger and droopier. So, bad news or good news, I’m not sure. I guess it means more laughing at its size is to come.

  9. Grendel Reifsnider says:

    I can’t believe how stupid I feel, but I just cannot figure out the eye/ear doctor gag…

    • Piraro says:

      The doc can see right through his head to the eye chart on the wall. So his head is empty. :o)

      • Grendel Reifsnider says:

        OHHH!!! I thought the doctor was just bragging. Duh…

      • Indi says:

        In ye olde tyme comic panels, the artist would have drawn a dotted line from the doctor’s eye, through the instrument, through the guys empty head and out the other side, continuing on to an eye chart clearly shown on a wall. All just to make sure the farmer reading this particular almanac got the joke.

        Thank you Dan for respecting our respective intelligences.

    • Tanja says:

      Let me look in your ear, Grendel…. :P

      (Don’t worry, we’ve all been in that same jazz pickle at times!)

  10. Tanja says:

    My husband used to make fun of my nose. He is now my ex. If they don’t like your nose, divorce them, I say. :>D

  11. Harold Schultz says:

    I can’t stop laughing! These were all hit out of the park, three home runs!

  12. Kitty Howard says:

    Your nose is perfect and handsome.

  13. Charlotta says:

    Big eagle beak-like noses are right up alongside intelligence and a warped sense of humour on my list of thing that make men exponentially more attractive. Wear your schnozz with pride!

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