Bizarro is brought to you today by Parenting.
I took some time off to travel but am happy to be back in my captain’s chair here at Bizarro International Headquarters.
Accordingly, here are a passel of cartoons to catch you up to date. First up is a cartoon that proved popular among readers. Personally, I never use my first pet’s name as a security question because, although I loved the dog, I never liked her name: “Penny.” I don’t have anything against the name per se, but my older sister picked it and so it seemed feminine to me. I was rooting for “Spike” or “Killer.” She looked not unlike the dog in this cartoon, except that her spots were brown. Like you care.
This gingerbread house witch cartoon could easily have been one of my Sunday Punnies, but I liked it so much I wanted to use it as a stand-alone image. 
I wonder if anyone actually sells that sign? I’ll bet someone does.
From the woods we jump to the restrooms at a coffee shop. I’ve done gags about these characters before, lots of people have. In this one, however, they’re falling in love. I’m happy for them but I’m guessing the sex isn’t so great.
Speaking of sex, what’s with the term “hump day”? It’s used to refer to Wednesday being the day you’re “over the hump” in terms of waiting for the weekend, but to me it always sounds a little vulgar. I’m happy to see that the boss is finally doing something about it.
By the way, camels are fun to draw and even more interesting than that is that paleontologists say they originated in North America. Some migrated south and evolved into llamas and alpacas, others went over the Bering Strait and became Bactrian camels and some went further into the Middle East and Northern Africa, became dromedary camels and went into the cigarette business. The ones in North American died out entirely. Of course, if you’re a creationist, none of that is true.
Terms like “athletic socks” and “dress shoes” are always funny to me. None of my socks are particularly athletic; they could no more catch a ball or run for a touchdown than Richard Simmons. And I never wear my dress shoes with a dress. “Loafers” isn’t a bad term considering shoes do little more than loaf but who wears loafers when they’re actually loafing? Seems like sneakers should be called loafers, since that’s what we wear when we want to be comfortable. I never “sneak,” so I don’t really have any use for sneakers.
It just occurred to me that that last paragraph could have been written by Andy Rooney, which is a little embarrassing. Sorry for that.
For more important insights about unimportant things, get one of my books.
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That should read “paleontologists,” not “archeologists.” Archeologists study past human activity, which would not include the origin of camelids (though they might have something to add to discussions on the exinction of camelids in North America).
You’re completely right, of course. I knew when I wrote it that it wasn’t the right word but my brain wouldn’t let me come up with the correct one so I moved on. Since I’m anal about such things, I’ll change it now. :o)
we ate them about 12-10,000 years ago. No pics of Vicuna? my bike glove liners feel left out.
WOW, you must be really old, and hungry. LOL……
I own that ‘Violators Will Be Toad’ sign. I had it on my garage until recently!
“…dromedary camels who went into the cigarette business.” haahahhaha
In college I worked for the campus’ weekly newspaper, which came out on Wednesdays. The editor of the handy pullout arts and entertainment guide re-christened the section “Hump Magazine,” a stroke of genius by college newspaper standards. Many administrators felt as you did and suggested the name be changed to something more seemly. We refused on the grounds that it referred to Wednesday being Hump Day, not actual humping, and they should get their minds out of the gutter and back into the ivory tower.
Must not have been University of California, Berkeley……
You always make me laugh right out loud, and I just wanted to tell you that. It seems to me that you probably have millions of fans, and I’m just one more person saying how funny you are and how I “get” your humor…but there you go. You are and I do and I’m happy to be living now so that my need for a funny bone tickle coincides with your beingness on the planet!
Keep on doing what you do–it’s terrific!
Lu
Thanks, Lu. In fact, you are one of only two dozen fans worldwide, so your comments are especially appreciated!
Re: Violators will be toad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkKKxhGu3A8
-jp
Lovely and inspiring.
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Oh, man–you can tell everyone that an 86 year old is in love with you!!!
Dan, briljant cartoons as always! Maybe I like your comments even better….
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It’s not the same as your no parking sign, but our neighbors had this one posted on their laneway:
http://www.carterstore.com/upload/products/ande/arspripar-2.jpg
Back in the 70s, there was a trucking firm whose motto, printed in large letters on the side of the semi trailers, was “Humpin’ to Please!” There was, of course, running camel painted there, as well.
I remember it well and used to giggle quietly at it every time I saw one.
What has the mysterious Piraro been up to? I wonder if that animation thing is working out…
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Your comics always awesome, but this week, I’m particularly appreciating the journey that I take when I read the text part of your blog posts, especially following the links.
I love it that I can laugh and get a brief, random education at the same time. I had no idea that camels originated in North America…are you making that up? ;) …It says so in the Wikipedia article, so it must be true…
Oops. Typo.
You independently came up with the same gag I put in a crudely-drawn cartoon about 20 years ago. In mine, a broom was leaning against the exterior wall of a building, and the sign above it said “Parking for the Witch ONLY. Violators will be toad.” My cartoons were only for the amusement of myself and family.
Something about great minds…
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You shoes………..you lose. Yer just loafers.
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Hello, this is a Hell’s Kitchen Horse acting as your subconscious … perhaps it’d be a good idea to do a funny about the MoMA PS1 museum restaurant in Queens N.Y. getting ready to put (raw) horse meat on the menu. Yep, that’s phenylbutazone-tainted horse meat from an American horse slaughtered in Canada. A few observations: Canadian Food Inspection Agency is in the midst of yet another crisis, this one one of the largest meat recalls in its history; CFIA inspects only fifteen-hundredths of 1 percent for toxic contamination (ie, phenylbutazone and other drugs); the US FDA has deemed “bute” dangerous for human consumption, at any level; horses are not raised as “food animals in the US, and there is no infrastructure for ensuring that meat from American horses is free of bute; Ohio kill buyer Ronald Andio received an FDA warning letter this year for selling a bute-filled horse for slaughter in Canada; Belgium also has documented bute contamination from Canadian horses; and … horse slaughter is exceptionally violent.
Would your older sister who named the dog Penny, happen to be Karen? I knew her 20 yrs ago in nursing school, I never met you but I have an autographed copy of one of your cartoon books. I always enjoyed your cartoons long before I met Karen and at first could not believe you really were her brother, but now I sure can see the resemblance. Glad I ran into your blog site by accident!
She’s the one, all right. :o)
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TOAD
I live in a rather “rural” part of VA. A friend of mine here saw a pickup towing a car down the highway with the “external tail lights” attached, etc. and a sign in the rear window stating, “Toad Car”. I guess I live near the famed gingerbread house too.
SenseiC bows out
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Hey Dan! Bruce Schneier linked your security question on his Crypt-O-Gram newsletter. Be proud.
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Regarding the latest “Sunday Punnies #28″, Abraham Incan would have a very strange looking fence with those split rails. Abe Lincoln split rails for fences that were 8 or 10 feet long or longer. Just call me Mr Literal.
Thanks, Mr. Literal!