Traitor Crowded Dragster


Bizarro is brought to you today by Cannibals.

This cartoon is an offshoot of a feeling I’ve had since I was a child, some 30 years before I became vegan. Why would an animal want to advertise its own murder and consumption? Long before I thought it was wrong to eat animals, when I was still under 10 years old, I wondered why a happy pig would be on a sign for a BBQ restaurant. It just seemed wrong somehow. So here is a cartoon that took 40 years gestate.

And here are a couple more cartoons from this week. If you’re in the U.S., I hope you had a good few days off for the holiday and for you readers in other countries, hope you had a few good days for no particular reason.


56 thoughts on “Traitor Crowded Dragster

  1. Hey Dan, I’m assuming you voted for Obama, so I have to ask – how can you justify his drone strikes, kill list, and other military policies that kill thousands of innocents each year?

  2. I am not a native English speaker, but I think there are two mistakes (or, more precisely, one mistake twice): the question “did this bed used to be bigger?” has the verb “use” in the wrong tense (“did this bed use to be bigger?”). The same goes to “I did use to be a child’s psychiatrist”…

  3. Suicide blog has retired? No fair! Dan….you never fail to disappoint! You had me cracking up while trying to read about insurance policies. I commend you. sir!

  4. Hi Dan,

    I got invited to spend T-day with friends who are vegans. They were gracious enough to allow me to bring a turkey breast among other foods.

    It was an interesting exchange, considering that I’m a picky eater. They learned that I don’t enjoy cooked veggies eons ago; I don’t do mushrooms; yada-yada-yada.

    And I learned that they shun all animal products, including diary & eggs. Part of their conversion to veganism had to do with living a healthier lifestyle. But 3 things left me scratching my head:

    1) Non-dairy products are okay, like whipped creme.

    2) But not all edible chemicals are acceptable.

    —Non-dairy whipped creme is okay, but not Coke-Cola.

    3) Mock food is acceptable for want of texture.

    —Tofu-turkey, no. But tofu bacon? OH, YEAH!

    I am failing to understand the rationale. If it were less of a “movement” (group identity, politics, & other dynamic statements involved) and more of a personal food quark (something that’s up to whimsy), then that’s something that I can relate to.

    Example: I have a cousin who is not as extreme as my friends; she’s a lacto-ovo-vegetarian and ENJOYS breakfast. But I don’t do eggs outright because boot camp broke me of that habit with powdered eggs. So, she can have mine in exchange for her serving of breakfast meat and we’re all happy!

    Dan, sorry to be so long winded, but with respect to my vegans friends above, I fail to understand how they square their eating habits because it follows the spirit but not the letter of their agenda.

    I guess I’m wondering how much / what kind of a vegan are you & if you are trying to promote it, how would you convince me?

    Thanks for your thots,


    • There are so many different versions of vegetarian and vegan and even people within those movements tend to argue among themselves. By definition, “vegan” means no animal products of any kind in any form of consumption: eating, clothing, furniture, even not patronizing Seaworld or zoos, or a circus with animals. As for myself, I won’t subsidize cruelty to animals by purchasing animal products, (including circuses or zoos) and I won’t eat flesh of any kind. I also avoid eggs and dairy because the industries that produce them are as cruel as the meat industry and all of those animals end up in slaughterhouses when they are “spent.” I will, however, eat eggs from the chickens of a friend who raises them as pets and does not send them to a slaughterhouse. There is no cruelty in this since the egg is not sentient, so I see no harm in it. Some of my vegan friends disagree with me vehemently, but it leaves me bewildered. My beliefs are logical to me, that’s the most I can say. :o)

  5. Playing with grammar this week? The words “did” and “used” shouldn’t be in the same sentence I think, given the word “did” is already in past tense. Why not just say “Was this bed bigger?” and “Yes, I used to be a child psychiatrist.” or were those part of the joke? :)

    Love love love your sense of comedy! Bizarro has been my favorite comic strip from way back. Thanks! (and it’s an added bonus that you are vegan and support animal rights, me too!)

  6. Oh, btw, one point of derision:

    Some chemicals are from animal sources, like eggshells and bones treated to the point of having uniformity and then later used as a calcium source in dietary supplements & other foods.

    And as such, my vegan friends make all attempts to avoid these _ but I can’t help to think it’s a fool’s errand.


    I don’t mean to be an a$$h0Ie, but other than trying to understand, what can I do to support my friends’ endeavors? Perhaps to be less skeptical? Please advise.

    • No idea what you can do to be supportive of your friends other than not judge them. I don’t make a religion out of it, either, but many of my closest friends do. There is no way to live a completely compassionate, vegan lifestyle in the modern world. The most you can do is avoid what you can.

  7. Pingback: Traitor Crowded Dragster « What I see, what I feel, what I'd like to see…

  8. Sorry, but since it appeared in two of today’s posts it probably wasn’t just an oversight, so I thought I’d point out that following the auxiliary did or didn’t, the form ‘use to’ should be applied. Kind of like saying ‘yes, I did take…‘ instead of ‘yes, I did took…‘, maybe.

    Anyway, thanks for the regular posts here! I really appreciate the online access to your work alongside the great bonus of your commentary alongside them!

  9. Regarding the post about eating eggs from your friends pet chickens…..what becomes of it when the chicken is at the end of it’s life cycle? Do they let it die naturally,take it to a vet and “Put it down”? Some sort of suffering has to take place.I can’t imagine that they would consume the chicken after finding it dead of “natural” causes,yet it seems like a waste to just bury it.You may not approve of hunting deer,but doesn’t it seem a waste if one is hit by a car accidentally and could be consumed,but instead is left behind?Are you are OK with free range products?Or by-products?What are your thoughts on stuff like anti-venom,produced from live rattlesnakes? And I really can’t control myself and must ask which you think came first,the chicken or the egg?

    • My friends bury their chickens when they die. It’s no more of a waste than not eating your dog when it dies if you are of that mindset. Some die naturally, some are put down by a vet if they are suffering. Just like any pet. “Free range” is a bullshit industry term for a variety of conditions, most often it means hundreds of chickens crowded into cement warehouses instead of small cages. They’re not living even remotely natural lives so I consider it unnecessary cruelty. People raise animals in condensed confinement because they make more money from them––not a good reason for cruelty to animals by my standards. I first became vegan 10 years ago when I suddenly realized I couldn’t justify doing anything to any animal that I wouldn’t do to a cat or dog. So I don’t.

      Regarding your deer question: some years ago, in the middle of the night, a deer broke its neck jumping over a fence of an animal sanctuary that I was affiliated with. One of the locals regularly hunted and ate deer, so we offered it to him, thinking it would save a life somewhere down the line. He didn’t want it, however, saying that once the animal has been dead for a few hours it begins to become dangerous to eat if not frozen or treated or whatever. (One of the many signs that humans are not well suited to digesting animals. A dog or cat could eat that meat two days later and not die from it. Another, even stronger sign is that humans are naturally repulsed by the sight and smell of blood and death. True meat eaters are attracted by it.) Anyway, that’s all I know about deer. :o)

      • I feel the same about animal cruelty but can’t adopt the vegan diet.I still eat anything and everything, knowing that I can’t change the conditions the animals are subjected to.I guess certain trade offs have to be made .I don’t think I’d buy a product if it was labeled “Cruelly slaughtered.” I once hit a deer with a car and a guy asked me if he could have it-then he changed his mind when he looked at it.Don’t hate me for eating meat.There are better reasons.

        • I certainly don’t hate you for eating meat. Most of my friends and family members do and I did for 40+ years. Everyone’s path is different and at least you’re thinking about it. I did that for decades before I took the plunge.
          By the way, there is no such thing as slaughter that is not cruel. That’s why they’re called “slaughter houses” instead of “humanely put to sleep painlessly for the sake of your taste buds houses.” :o)

        • My dad (a LLEO) once shot a (crazed, frightened) deer (actually a buck) in a department store. It was 20 below out so he and another cop dragged it to the loading dock and put it in the pickup when night shift ended. The butcher kept half. We ate deer for quite a long time and even my Mom developed a taste for it. Just part of the circle of life I guess.

  10. Dan, you asked what I’m doing to stop the carnage. I’m trying to change the system, unlike you who keeps supporting a corrupt status quo and is okay with innocent people suffering and dying as long as a democrat is the one doing it. Face it; you’re not a progressive. You’re a tool.

  11. Hello Dan,

    Greetings from Brasil!

    First let me congratulate you for you cartoon about the couple in bed. Excellent, as always. May I make an observation, though? My first reaction to what the man said was: shouldn´t he be saying: did this bed use to be smaller (rather than bigger)? This, to me, would convey the couple´s increasing feelings of separation. On the other hand, now that I think of it, the couple´s falling out of love would make intimacy more difficult, thus the comment. Well, just some loose thoughts on a lazy friday afternoon. Cheers.

  12. Hi Dan,

    I’m a big fan of your work! You’re one of my favorite cartoonists, both online and offline. The bed cartoon reminded me of a quote from the Talmud:

    “When our love was strong, we would lay down on the edge of a sword. Now that our love is not strong, a bed of sixty cubits is not enough for us.”

  13. I would like the psychiatrist to continue with “Why do you ask?”

    I appreciate your work Dan. Do you ever consider ideas for cartoons

    from your fans?

  14. I’ve eaten meat since I was a child, still enjoy it today, and have no plans to stop. My big issues are with the manner in which they’re raised and kept, and what they’re fed (such as GMO grains and feed).

    That said… for a long time in my neighborhood, there was this little Chinese take-out joint that advertised its chicken dishes with a cartoon of a big smiling rooster brandishing a chicken leg with a bite taken out of it, and every time I walked past that place, I was like, WTF?

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