Blurry Superstition Death Paternity Donut Cell Hives


Bizarro is brought to you today by Sheer Luck.

Have you ever felt that the world is suddenly wider and that the rules have changed so that everything you were used to before is now somehow inapplicable and you are starting from scratch? I have had that feeling this week because my blog got incorporated into King Features’ Mighty Network of Cartoonist Blogs and Other Things Designed to Help Cartoonists Make a Living Which is Harder Than You Might Assume. (I don’t think that is the literal name of their new network, but you get the idea.) In other words, the format of my blog changed a little and now the way I post is different and it slows me down. It’s not your problem, of course, I just wanted to vent because you are my only friend. (Yes, you.)

Here are some cartoons from the past week:

My new year’s resolution is 72ppi. Just like last year. What’s yours?













Is anyone afraid that the year 2013 will bring them bad luck? We humans have such a persistent superstitious streak that I’m certain there are. If you find yourself in this unfortunate position, let me set your mind at ease: Bad things will almost certainly happen to you this year, but none of them will have anything to do with the arbitrary numbering system of our calendar. It’s just life as usual in a random, chaotic universe.





Next cartoon: You know those guys with long hair, beard, and robes who carry signs through the streets that say “The End is Near”? Neither do I, but I’ve often seen them in cartoons for some reason so here’s another one. For him, it was true because he dropped dead. Of course, I’m only assuming his sign was going to say that. He died before he finished it; perhaps it was going to say “The End is Neat.”





This next one is a clever cartoon that cross breeds two famous advertising icons: Flabbo the tire guy and Pustule, the baking product boy. This gem came from the mind of my known associate Wayno, who said this about that. In his post he wonders why I changed the name of the magazine from his original “Tread” to my “Tired.” I just thought the double entendre was funny and I always like to add a little something different to a cartoon by a colleague, especially when their original version is so well conceived, as was the case here.




The donut cartoon plays out like this: Old movies often had somebody like Jimmy Cagney saying something like this to a cop, with the word “killed” substituted with for the word “ate,” and peace officers are said to enjoy a lot of donuts while on duty. Combine the two and WHAMMO!, you’ve got comedy.

(Note: These are professionally trained cartoon characters. Do not attempt to eat a pastry possessing arms and legs.)





I must confess that this cartoon about stem cells is my favorite of the week. Not because it is the funniest but because I like the strangeness of it. As you scientists know, stem cells can grow into anything in any animal. You can take a stem cell from the eyeball of an earthworm and put it into a human embryo in the foot department and it will become a foot. To use a term common in the vernacular of geneticists, it’s creepy cool. This dandy idea came from my colleague, Dan McConnell. He is smart and funny.

My last entry today is this big Sunday comic. There are suddenly so many food allergies in America that this cartoon seemed very timely. When I was a kid, nobody knew they could be allergic to peanuts or wheat or whatever, so we just ate what was put in front of us. Now it seems everyone has a food allergy or twelve. I don’t think I have any except that I don’t care for food that does not taste good. Thank goodness they don’t serve tiny packets of cooked spinach on airplanes, or I’d be in real trouble.

I hope you enjoyed today’s offerings and that your year is both new and happy. Stay crunchy, Jazz Pickles.


38 thoughts on “Blurry Superstition Death Paternity Donut Cell Hives

  1. I thought it had changed because I usually get it on my FB page, this time I saw it (and grabbed it) on the news panel on the right hand side of FB. That mean I might miss it, shit!

  2. I gotta admit, my biggest laugh came from the blog side: “Pustule”! And I *have* actually seen one those long-bearded guys with the signs prophesying doom, while I was in London in 1978 (he was outside the theatre where we were going to see The Cherry Orchard…hmmmmm), so maybe it’s a Brit thing.

  3. This one didn’t show the comic in my newsreader – are you doing something different or is it a blip? Or maybe some other explanation I can’t think of?

    • I wasn’t the one who switched my blog over to the new system so I don’t know anything about the technical side. If it continues, send me a detailed description of what you’re seeing and not, and I’ll forward it to the person who built this thing and see if she can find out why. Thanks for the note.

    • They’ve reprogrammed my blog a bit and added it to the King Features group of blogs so some things are buggy. If it persists, let me know exactly what you’re seeing or not seeing and I’ll forward it to the person in charge of that stuff. Thanks.

  4. Because of your essay on why you do not eat meat, I went without

    Meat today. I appreciate your concise essay punctuated by your

    Excellent drawings.



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  6. “Do not attempt to eat a pastry possessing arms and legs”

    Bang goes the Gingerbread Man I was going to have this lunchtime…

  7. Very funny about the food allergies. I suppose it’s not funny to people who have real or self-diagnosed food allergies. The rest of us (probably in the single digits) think it’s hilarious. Happy new year!

  8. Fun fact: The Michelin man’s official name is “Bibendum,” coming from a Latin phrase meaning “now is the time to drink” – something that probably shouldn’t be associated with driving, I would think. The Michelin company also started a renowned restaurant of the same name; my mom received a cookbook of their recipes for Xmas.

    Also, I think a better alternative for the donut cartoon could’ve been “Finished off my brother.”

  9. Absolutely love the New years resolution one! And Im slightly ashamed to admit that I sat staring at the screen for a few seconds too long waiting for it to come into focus and then going “Ohhh! I see what you did there Dan (nod)”. Well played man, well played.

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  11. A bit random, but is that really true that nobody use to have food allergies? Or were they just never really noticed? I’m pretty young, so I don’t have to much perspective on that. By the way, I love your comics! You and Bill Watterson are right up there at the top!

    • A good question, and one that I’m not qualified to answer. (Not that that has stopped me before.) My guess is that some went unidentified in the past, some has been caused by wacky new issues with food, and some are hypochondria. Just a guess, though.

    • I’m only slightly more qualified since I used to have some educational medical background long time ago and used to follow some (more or less scientific) publications on this topic.

      As far as I remember allergies have probably existed forever (just like cancer, heart attacks and all those “modern” diseases) but to a much smaller extent. During the last decades it became much more prevalent.

      As far as I can see there’s another major reason for that besides today’s less-natural diet: The hyper-cleanliness (not only) when dealing with small children. It prevents them from developing a fully functional immune system. From my point of view that’s the main cause (within a bunch of causes) for most allergies but this assessment may be not much more than an “educated guess”.

  12. I went to a “All you care to eat” buffet and the stuff looked so bad (keep in mind I eat anything) that I didn’t care to eat there and took a refund. The nuts was a good place for the eyeball.Staring out at the diner is just my style.

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