Sproing Talk Acknowledgement Shred Pee Flake Underpants


(To enlarge this tragic moment in time, click the unfortunate diver’s butt.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hall and Oates.

I’ve done plenty of crash test dummy gags over the years and I’ll likely continue because it’s just so much fun. They’re such great spokesmen for the foibles of the human race. (Legal Disclaimer: I should say now that these are professionally trained stunt dummies and that you should not try this yourself, but I won’t. If you’re stupid enough to knowingly jump into an empty swimming pool, it would be better if you didn’t live long enough to reproduce.)

You may recognize the art of this next cartoon. I created it a few years ago for a Xmas comic, but used it again here both because it has the perfect look for this gag and I was careening at top speed toward a deadline and needed to save some time. Cartoonists with regular characters use the same art almost daily, so don’t get your nose out of joint over it.









The punch line here is in the sign on the fence. Your mind might glance and perceive it as “Beware of Dog”, which is what you’re supposed to do, but then you’re supposed to look again and see that it is different. Another notable aspect of this cartoon is that I make a cameo in it. No, I am not the dog.









Here is a therapy cartoon from our good friend and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I love cats but the most unfortunate thing about them by far is the sharpening claws thing. I’ve had tons of expensive stuff ruined by them. It is unacceptably cruel to declaw them and nearly impossible to teach them not to do it if they have a mind to, so you’re just stuck dealing with it. I wish there was a simpler solution. Anyway, here are the words Wayno put together in a specific order to talk about this cartoon.






Since we were visiting the cat world, let us now drop in on the world of dogs. They’ve had a social networking system way longer than we have. It probably works just as well, too.






What’s this, then? Another stem cell cartoon? Wasn’t there one last week? Sometimes ideas come in bunches and this is one of those times. If you’re having trouble with this one, think of stem cells as the building blocks of life for animals, then how snow flakes are the building blocks of life for a snowman. Any given stem cell can become any given thing in the body, same with snowflakes. Blah, blah, blah, you get the point. It’s funny, though, right? (I’m sorry the snowflakes are black instead of white, but it is the only way I could guarantee they’d be visible in a small newspaper comic.)



My last comic this week is about the famous fictional champion of the American West, the Lone Ranger. Apparently, it took him a while to come up with that moniker.

Tune in next week for cartoons about snowmen, cats, pie, marriage, dentists, crabs, and tryptophan. Also, thanks to my daughter, Krelspeth, for the use of the picture of her Halloween costume from this past year. She’s a clever girl.

Have a crunchy weekend, Jazz Pickles.



65 thoughts on “Sproing Talk Acknowledgement Shred Pee Flake Underpants

      • Oh yes, I should’ve noticed. As opposed to the dynamite it has an eye!

        On a different topic, since you apparently sometimes wonder whether people notice the significant details: Yes, some people do notice that there are not more than two identical stem cells. ;-)

        (On the other hand one could discuss whether they can be stem cells at all when they are that highly differentiated – but I’m digressing [favorite typo: distressing] …)

          • Yes. There are ten or so little odd symbols that I throw into my cartoons at different intervals. The number above my signature tells you how many to look for. I’ve been doing this for about 15 years now, so welcome to the party. :)

      • Can’t reply to your reply below, Dan, so I’ll insert here (closest possible). I think you should/could add something like 23 to the total whenever you put yourself into a strip.

        Also, if I were still young and ever in cool social situations anymore (sigh), I’d have to have me one of them there dynamite t-shirts. I think it’s about time I go buy me a mug instead.

          • Hey Dan,

            This isn’t a comment, but I can’t find your “contact me” email in a short search and I know you’ll see this in the moderation queue… I went to your cafepress page to look for a dynamite mug, and I notice that all of the dynamite products have incomplete dynamite images on them. If cafepress uses a root art image for each product graphic, it looks like the root image for the dynamite is corrupted. I had my wife try this on an independent computer with the same result, and I don’t see the same effect on your other product images.

          • Thanks, Dave. I don’t actually run that site but I’ve set up Cafe Press stuff before and I think what it means is that the person who programmed that image on that product sized it wrong. My guess is that the product itself is fine but the graphic on the web page is screwy. You might go ahead and order one and if it looks crappy, let me know and I’ll get your money back and fix the problem. In the meantime, I’ll ask the guy who runs that site why it’s messed up.

  1. Dan,

    As always I enjoy your cartoons about dogs. However I found the cat cartoon to be very disturbing. Cats are the spawn of satan, surely you know that. It is really necessary to give them positive publicity while their plan their inevitable coup? Just remember, they would eat us if they could.


    • Despite? With an “ever increasing level” shouldn’t each given last set be expected to stand out against the previous ones? At least that’s what I’d expect and in the long run my expectations weren’t disappointed.

      (Yes, I’m known to be pedantic, I admit.)

  2. Dan,

    I look forward to seeing your comics daily. Always the first thing I look at in the paper each day! I especially enjoy your cat comics. Keep up the great work!

  3. you do realize that you are one of the main reasons why “memes” on facebook are so damn popular, right? I’ve been reading bizzaro since I was a little kid. keep it up, you freaking rule.

  4. The X-mas one has me going in circles. I thought the Bunny in the window display and the one on the shopping bag and the reference of the store’s name (Bunny) count as 1 or 3 of the same Secret Symbol.

    But I guess when there’s more than one of the same Secret Symbol that is DRAWN, you count them individually but it don’t count when spelt out?


    (ranking member of the SS patrol)

  5. A friend relates an incident, watching dogs sniff known pee spots, then whizzing the same spot, his gal turned to him and said, “They’re emailing each other”.

  6. Pingback: A very funny stem cell cartoon from Bizarro «

  7. I really like that you spaced the paragraphs to line up with the cartoons to which the reference. I’m sure it takes an extra portion of your very valuable tie, but I want you to know it is appreciated.

  8. Dan darling, have you been tweaking the website again? I could previously read it in my RSS feed (Google Reader), but now all I get is the header for a new post and I have to (physically) visit the blog to read what you’ve written and see the panels.

    What gives?

    Long time blurker

    • King Features incorporated my blog into a new format under their umbrella. I don’t know enough about these things to answer your question, but I’m guessing that’s why you’re getting a different experience. I’ll forward your comment to the person who set this up and see if she has a solution. Thanks for telling me.

  9. Man, every one today had me laughing. I gotta stop reading you blog at work, my co-workers are starting to think I’m losing it!

  10. Hi Dan – I always love your animals’ faces, but the two cats are especially great. The “be aware” dog too! Been enjoying your work and your sharp sense of humor since the ’80’s – keep it up!

  11. Loved all the comics, but wanted to comment specifically on the cat one. There is a product out in the market called SoftPaws. They are little plastic tips that glue onto the cat’s claws, so when they do scratch, there’s no damage done. The tips are comfortable for cats because they can still do everything they need to (although they are NOT recommended for outdoor cats as the cat wouldn’t have the use of the sharpness of the claws if needed).

    Google SoftPaws to find out more. It’s a humane way of preventing scratch damage from happening. And no….I don’t work for them, but I’ve used the product and found it to work wonderfully.


  12. I just wanted to know if you got any of my ideas… I posted them in the comments, but I don’t see them now. It said they were awaiting moderation for a day or so… If they were rejected that’s fine, I just want to know if you saw them:)

    • AS I mention in the blog post copy, I don’t post any of the pun suggestions in the comments so as not to ruin the gag for readers should I decide to use it. Thanks for your submissions!

  13. I left a comment with an idea for a cartoon and am wondering if you saw it. It was about Moses, Ramses, and the anti-plague high priest. Did you see it/like it? Are you going to use it? Curious, that’s all.

    • AS I mention in the blog post copy, I don’t post any of the pun suggestions in the comments so as not to ruin the gag for readers should I decide to use it. Thanks for your submissions!

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