(To view this image larger, click the pickle or the beaver.)
Bizarro is brought to you today by Nothingness.
Above these words you’ll find today’s Sunday Bizarro, which is the 27th installment of a series I call “Bizarro’s Sunday Punnies.” It consists of pun ideas submitted by readers, which I then skillfully turn into a cartoon. This week’s winners were Brian Levy, Greg Fitze, and T. Busam. Their prize was to see their names in the Sunday comics today. Yay! If you’d like to submit one of your original pun ideas for a future installment, read on!
Here are the simple rules for submitting your idea. If you break one, something terrible will happen to you in the next 21 days, just like with those email chain letters:
1. Idea must be original. That means that as far as you know, it originated in your head. This is not something that you saw on the Interwebs or heard from some kid you went to summer camp with years ago.
2. By submitting an idea, you are agreeing to give it to me freely, for my own interpretation and use, without expectation of monetary compensation, now or ever.
3. Tell me what name you’d like me to use at the bottom, should I choose your idea.
4. If you’ve got those first three points covered, hit the “comments” button at the bottom of this post and leave your reply. I will read it and consider it, I WILL NOT post any pun suggestions in the comments section in case I decide to use them.
You’re finished here. Good luck, happy thinking, and don’t run head first into an immovable object without a helmet.
Just wanted to pop in say that I’ve admired your work for many, many years. You’re one of the very best!
Thanks, Rob! You’re too kind.
Some times you feel like a nut, sometimes you just are one!
Keep up the good work. You are one strange man and I love it! Little Dick.
Thanks to you and T.Busam for the chuckle. For 40 + years I have heard the same jokes about my last name, but one of the guys at work started calling me Justin a few weeks ago and it cracks me up.
The Hamilton Spectator Saturday Paper
We have an idea for Sunday Punnies.
How should we send it?
Leave it here in the comments section, as you just did with this question. I won’t publish the punnies comments, so you won’t see it here, but I will read it and consider it.
Thanks for all the work you do regarding animal welfare. I’m not completely meat free yet, but I’m a LOT closer than I’ve ever been! Cheers!
Dan: This is the Eugene Scott that used to work with your mom at Kirk of the Hills in Tulsa. I still love your work and am glad your blog and Facebook have replaced–at least for me–the Sunday funnies. They were always my favorite part of the paper. Yours especially.
I remember a cartoon of yours your mom had on her office wall. It was of a heedless man walking down the street with his guardian angels protecting him. I thought it was funny and profound and I cannot remember the punch-line, which was the point. Can you refresh my memory?
Hi, Eugene, thanks for the note. I remember the cartoon you’re describing but can’t find it in my archives (which are a perennial mess!) and cannot remember the punchline, either. I’m afraid in regards to your question, I’m worthless. But thanks for asking and good to hear from you! :o)
hello piraro. i am not sure if you ever got my suggestion for a punny. it doesnt seem to be up on this wall anymore. please respond. thanks!
I never post the pun suggestions here so as not to ruin the ones I choose. Rest assured that I saw it and read it. :o)
aha! i knew i was doing something wrong. :O well thanks for your consideration. :D PUN- ON!!!
Thanks for looking, Dan. I’ll just have to let my imagination fill in the gaps.
Hi Dan,
I’ve been a long time (albeit infrequent) reader of your work. To the extent that I scan the comics section in the paper, I always look for Bizarro! I think I first became aware of Bizarro back when I was in college and our school was just getting widespread internet access and e-mail. I recall sending you an e-mail back then, saying how much I liked your work, and you were gracious enough to send a personal reply. Well, that was almost 20 years ago, and I’m still digging your work.
Keep cranking ‘em out!
Thanks,
Randall
Thanks for the note. Happy to hear my work has continued to amuse you after all these years!
Sorry for being such a big nerd, but the image of the pickle when seen through the water is not really an optical illusion. The light rays from the pickle are actually bent at the surface of the water. It is like looking through a magnifying glass. In any event, the “Optipickle Illusion” is a funny pun.
Bizarro is my favorite comic in the whole world. The perfect mix of wacky and high quality art. I am glad to find your blog where I can get my weekly fix. The Portland paper does carry it now (yea!) but I don’t care to read the rest of the news so I don’t subscribe. I was ecstatic to find the Bizarro daily desk calendar a couple of years ago, but this year, alas, skunked again. Any chance they’ll make a comeback in the future?
Thanks, Judy. You’re too kind. The calendar biz is extremely competitive so I’ve had trouble attracting a willing patron. Will keep trying, though. :o)
Love the cartoons! One of my favorites was the car “air freshener” hanging in the pine tree. Actually, that was one of several hundred favorites!
The Scarlet Macaw with the bloodied beak has made my day Dan Piraro! Now, more than ever, I want a collection of Bizarro Parrot Cartoons. I’ve tried to save as many as possible but some of your gems have missed my scrutiny.
Your Bay Area Fan/Friend,
Donna Shore
RECBC ~ Redwood Empire Cage Bird Club
Board Member at Large
Moderator for RECBC Yahoo Group
Chairperson for Membership, Advertising & Publicity
Liaison for Sonoma Co. Animal Care & Control of Avians
Volunteer for Rehoming, Fostering & Provision of Sanctuary
dshore@recbc.net
Happy to hear it, Donna. I likely don’t have enough parrot cartoons for an entire book; maybe a brochure. :o)
Killer Parrot.
This was a bit distasteful. My son likes reading the comics for humor. He was not amused nor am I.
KILLER PARROT, really? Isn’t real killing on evening news enough ? Please try to create something more appropriate.
Funny thing happened this morning.I was eating breakfast and my wife asked “Do you want a piece of this?” I’m married long enough to not even consider hoping it was sex-I knew it was pastry.
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I was always on the same page as you up until the ‘race car driver’ interview. I’m stumped! My son lives in Charlotte and he showed it around and came back to me with zero, nada…HELP?!
Steve Jellison
Manchester, MO
Drivers get paid to wear logos. More height = more logos = more money. :o)
Awesome, thanks a bunch
Dan love your comic – and that you can really draw.
(pun idea omitted)… i love the punnies. each one is like getting hit in the head by smooth rock. stunning.
Your friend’s impromptu pun (which I omitted from your comments) was brilliant, by the way. I don’t know that I can use it for Bizarro, but I appreciated it. :o)
I LOVE “abdominal snowman”!
TT
Your comic is my new favorite thing. Tra la.
Thanks so much, Gypsie!
OK, here’s another original:
While an undergraduate university music student, one of my professors told me that she “wanted to touch base with me” later that afternoon. We agreed to meet in the choral rehearsal room.
Soon after I arrived there at the appointed time, my prof showed up. So I silently led her over to the grand piano, then gently took her hand at placed it on a key at the left end of the keyboard; then I placed my hand next to hers on the keyboard. When she looked at me quizzically, I explained “you said that you wanted to touch bass with me.”
She dissolved!
Nicely played!