Oscar Turd Sex Feet Cheating Bra

Bizarro is brought to you today by the Academy Awards.

It’s been a lovely week here in Southern California, which is the biggest reason I live here. Sunny, 70+ degree weather in February is a drug you can’t buy from your local dealer. At least not that I’ve been able to find.

We start this week’s roundup with the cartoon I published the day after the Academy Awards. I wonder how many winners over the years have gotten so drunk at the after-parties that they ended up misplacing their statue. If anyone has heard a story about this, please share.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This cat cartoon is from personal experience. I recently discovered that if you cover your entire apartment floor with kitty litter, it eliminates the problem of your cat missing the litter box. You’re welcome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here’s a cartoon about that book everyone has been talking about, “Fifty Shades of Gray.” I don’t know what it’s about other than it has a lot of sex in it and so it is selling very well. Who knew that sex sells? You learn something new every day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I received an email this week about this cartoon asking me “what myth are you referring to?” The answer, of course, is the myth of Bigfoot, Sasquatch, the Yeti, the Abominable Snowman, Aunt Tammy, whatever they call it in your neck of the woods. This ditty was a collaboration with my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. He says this about that here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This next cartoon about a clandestine meeting between presumed lovers is my favorite of the week, I think. It has all the elements of cartoons that I love in that it depicts a moment in time that leads the reader through a story which, after reading and viewing, they must put together in their own mind. It still makes me smile.

 

 

 

 

 

My last cartoon of the week was this fun little ditty about a cyclops lady trying to buy a bra. Again, the reader is led to assume what’s going on, in this case that the lady’s eye is not the only thing she possesses in the singular that typically comes in pairs. The idea was suggested by a friend of mine who lives in the penis of the U.S. (Florida), so-called because of its shape and position on the map, not because of its function, in spite of the fact that Florida did f*ck the entire world in the 2000 presidential election.

I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed this week’s Bizarro comics. Please keep in mind that I offer these cartoons free of charge here on my blog but Bizarro is still my only source of income. If you enjoy the blog, please consider making a donation to my “tip jar” (upper right side of this page, under those two ads) from time to time and buying some of my crap, found here. And here. Contrary to common belief, I’m not rich and I am going through an expensive divorce. (Is there any other kind for men? I call it The Florida Penalty.) :o)

 

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23 Responses to Oscar Turd Sex Feet Cheating Bra

  1. Tom says:

    I must be tired … it took almost two minutes for the “debunked” joke to compute; I’m usually far quicker on the draw than that. Sigh…

    • Wayno says:

      Tom, your comment made my day! It’s so nice to get a delayed reaction once in a while. I feel you really get your money’s worth from a cartoon that takes a few seconds to sink in.

  2. Cliff says:

    Your artwork on the cyclops cartoon is brilliant. I love the way the customer has only three fingers per hand and also, by seeing the sales-woman at a side angle, we don’t know if she has pairs of eyes and breasts or only one of each.

  3. Denise says:

    Loved the debunking. It made me chuckle out loud.

  4. jdgalt says:

    I’ve heard all about Bigfoot/Sasquatch, and I still don’t get the cartoon.

    • Piraro says:

      “Debunked” means to prove something false. It can also mean to be “taken from a bunk,” as is the case here. A myth, Bigfoot, has been removed from a bunk, or “debunked.”

      • Hegezip says:

        I’m not a native-English person, but I got that cartoon even before reading the punchline. I reckon it must be hard to explain your jokes!

  5. Mike says:

    Los Angeles!

    So your wife got the Brooklynn pad. I guess your not vegan anymore either and could give a crap now about the woodstock animal rescue.

    • Piraro says:

      Still vegan, still care about non-human animals.

    • D. Woodhead says:

      Mike, how odd you would assume any of that were true. Are you insinuating that Dan does not have free will and was p***y-whipped. Haha, I don’t get that at all!

  6. Mike says:

    I’ve been enjoying your art for years, and it just occurred to me that I’ve never paid a dime for any of it. My favorite all time comic is the Lone Ranger and Tonto with the cauliflower in the salad. I recently self published something and have sold 8 copies this week at $2 royalty per! I’m putting whatever I make for the first month in your tip jar just to make myself feel better. Also, now that I know you live in SoCal I can stop looking for you when I drive through SF on the 101…

  7. gin says:

    Love the cyclops cartoon. After all, how do they say … “The eyes are the tits of the face.”

    • Piraro says:

      I didn’t know people said that but I’ll be saying it now. :o)

      • gin says:

        Technically, in this case it would be “The eye is the tit of the face” probably anyway … Not too familiar with cyclopian wit. Are they, like, halfwits?

  8. Enwig says:

    I got the part about being debunked. But can anybody explain the piece of pie on the floor below the bed. There has to be something to that, but I can’t figure it out.

    • Piraro says:

      Nope, nothing special about the piece of pie. I drop little icons into my cartoons all of the time. The small number above my signature tells you how many to look for. Alien, bunny, pie, dynamite, K2, upside-down bird, fish tail, single shoe, arrow in back, crown. I think that’s all of them.

  9. Mark Pool says:

    Love the cartoons, but I don’t get the title of this web page: “Oscar Turd Sex Feet Cheating Bra.”

  10. Eve L says:

    I am commenting on the cat, that has caught the mouse by the tail. The caption says something about WWJD? I understand this to be asking the question of what Jesus would do in this situation. I, for one, am not expecting a cat, or any other animal, to base their actions on Christian principals. Also, I find it interesting that there no domesticated cats mentioned in any of the usually accepted books that constitute the cannon of holy scripture. Now, of course, there are wild cats mentioned, just no domesticated cats. Now, to the question of what Jesus do. He would not have touched the mouse to start with. The mouse is classified as a none kosher animal. Finally, I truly enjoy these daily comics.

  11. Hi there, I log on to your new stuff regularly.
    Your story-telling style is witty, keep up the good work!

  12. Michael Roth says:

    My e-mail provider (web.de) also provides me with a “new” Bizarro cartoon every day (that’s how I came across your work). The ones they are posting now are from 2005. I love, love, love the one from 9/15/2005. That’s the mom (standing in the kitchen) telling her little son (presumably about to leave for school) that he should not be ashamed being a Cyclops — and the big paper bag he hides his head under won’t make it better! (There’s one single peephole in the middle instead of the usual two for the eyes!).

    Although it’s great that your more recent cartoons are accessible, it’s a shame that so very many previous ones are lost to your newer Jazz Pickles.

    Any plans to ever open the vault? — At any rate I’m grateful for the “classics” you sometimes throw in! (If possible, please let the one just mentioned be one of them! Web.de doesn’t technically allow to copy the cartoons — though some geek certainly would know a way to copy it anyway.)

    PS: I found the one with the little girl pointing out a headline to her father among your accessible ones (dated 1/11/2007), and the upset Dad says: “How about you spend LESS time studying how MY generation destroyed the environment and MORE time figuring out a magical solution?” — Definitely on my top ten list, Dan! :)

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