Bizarro is brought to you today by Tiny Pediatrician.
I had a good week in my personal life in that after over a year of living in LA, I finally screwed up the courage to go to the DMV and get my motorcycle and car driver’s licenses, and register my motorcycle in California. She now has a California plate and she couldn’t be more proud. Even more importantly, I don’t have to look over my shoulder constantly for the fuzz. Anyone want to start a bidding war over my old New York State motorcycle plate? I can sign it and draw a self portrait on it!
My first cartoon this week was this one about old age. I’m not anywhere near that age yet, but at the exponentially accelerating rate that time flies, we all will be by this time next week. Seemingly. As my dad says, “Old age ain’t for sissies.”
Most regular readers know that I’m a big fan of cartoons about the Old West. Here’s one now. It is completely fictional but perhaps it really happened and was the origin of the first gay bar in the U.S. Stranger things have happened.
On to the operating theater, this winsome bit of wordplay comes from my good buddy, Cliff Harris, The King of Wordplay. He’s also a retired doctor, but it had nothing to do with a situation like this. Or so he assures me.
Here’s a fun little ditty about a whale. The punch line is pretty self-explanatory, but if you still find yourself out to sea, check out the little evolving fish in the bottom corner. I heard that one or two of my animal-rights friends thought this gag was somehow insensitive to the plight of whales. This isn’t a real whale, nor is anyone with an I.Q. high enough to find their way to a beach going to assume a beached whale is trying to evolve. Lighten up, people. This is why folks tend to think of us as humorless boobs. (Most of us are not. Honestly.) Here’s another beached whale cartoon from my past that is one of my favorite gags in recent years. I call it “Californian’s Nightmare.”
If you’re not familiar with the acronym, “W.W.J.D.” it means, “What would Jesus do?” You can buy tons of products with this slogan on them, including bracelets. I suppose it was popularized to get teens to feel guilty about sex. I suppose it works from time to time but it would work a hell of a lot better if (god?) hadn’t instilled in us such a powerful and overwhelming desire to spread our genetic info. 
Our last cartoon of the week (except for my Sunday cartoon, which will appear in the next post) is about good ole Fred Flintstone, who used to stop his car by dragging his feet. Woe was he.
Until tomorrow, stay crunchy, Jazz Pickles.
Love the whale cartoon; It made me laugh, as in the past I would “save” the turtles (who had spent hours and hours making their way away from the lake to lay their eggs…) by picking them up and bringing them all the way back to the lake. Whatever the turtle version of “smh” is….I am sure they were doin’ it. Sorry, turtles…
I think my favorite part of the whale cartoon is the little fishy creature trotting past on its proto-legs.
Fun fact: whales evolved from horse-like land creatures, and still have little vestigial leg bones at their hips. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vestigiality#Animals
The University of Iowa’s Tigerhawk sports symbol looks just like Fred Flintstone when turned 90°.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/cstest/teams%2FTiger_Hawk.JPG
Hilarious! I’ve never seen that before. :o)
Help, I can’t get my brain to see Fred! First, do I turn it clockwise or counter? Second, is it Fred’s head or whole body? Thanks for the assist.
Turn it to the right and you’ll get a loose version of Fred’s head in profile, looking to the left. The hawk’s eye is Fred’s eye.
1) I love whales; 2) I’m vegan; 3) I’m pro animal rights; and 4) that is some quite funny material.
That is all.
:)
I thought the W.W.J.D. in the cat cartoon was supposed to stand for “What Would Jinks Do?” (Jinks being the cat in the vintage Hanna-Barbera cartoon “Pixie and Dixie and Mr. Jinks” – yes, the title had two ‘ands’)
Hi Dan: I had the pleasure of meeting you a few years ago at the Thanks-living dinner at the Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary. Love your cartoons. Enjoyed your speech. You kept us all laughing all the while delivering a wonderful message about being vegan and pro-animal. Keep up the good work!
I cracked up over what the operating room nurse was thinking. Thanks!
Hi Dan -
I was wondering, do you draw everything new or do you ever re-use some portions of strips? You are so detailed that I can’t help but wonder how long on average it takes you to draw a cartoon. My family and myself are big fans, thanks for all your hard work.
Occasionally I used bits of older cartoons but for the most part, everything is drawn new. On this one, the city is a photo but I had to manipulate it and color it, so it really didn’t save me much time. Of course, drawing that entire city scene would’ve taken a week. Most of my elaborate Sunday cartoons take a few hours.
You said 3, but I spotted 4 symbols in Saturday’s comic. I love it when I find an extra one! Besides those symbols, you are consistently the funniest comic in my local paper’s comic page.
I think there are actually five tragedies in “Californian’s Nightmare”, or is that the punchline, that L.A. TV folk are so dumb???
I really enjoy your cartoons, and I also enjoy the way your one-word descriptions sometimes come together to (almost) make sense. “Elderly Underwear Surgeon”? Hee-hee-hee!
Coming from cowboy country and related to a bunch of ranchers…. gotta love the check the pants at the door.
All of these made me smile and the WWJD made laugh out loud… being a cat person and person who would not wear one of the bracelets, but have pondered that question in many occasions… you really busted me up.
Thanks Dan
Love the slice o’ pie by the pile of whaleturtledolphins. And is that an eyeball in the arch? Reminds me of Natural Bridges SP in Santa Cruz.
Got W.W.J.D. moment, but decided to be a smartass anyway: you meant “acronym”.
;)
Yes, thank you. I always do that with that word. I’ll change it now.
I’ll start the bidding war at $25. :)
You are currently in the lead, Sharon. I’ll keep you updated!
I think the Lee people would help the Wrangler people fight the Levi people.
“Woe is he”, or “whoa is he”?
In this case, either is appropriate. Good catch. :o)
I believe the original “What Would Jesus Do” appeared on the cover of the classic novel “ by Charles Monroe Sheldon. As for your “Cliff note”… did he learn his cutting-edge technique from Ed Valenti (referring to the actual hand in the Ginsu knife commercial just as the narrator says, “But this method doesn’t work with a tomato.”)?
SenseiC bows out.
Sigh… so much for trying to put in the blasted href
…classic novel “In His Steps” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_His_Steps by Charles Monroe Sheldon
Whenever I see WWJD I think, “Who wants Jack Daniel’s?”
You mean that’s not what it means? I should probably stop shouting it in bars then.
As far as I know, the saying “old age ain’t for sissies” goes back to Bette Davis. Then again, maybe she heard it from your dad in the first place.
He admits he got it from Bette Davis but I always think of him because he says it so much. :o)
Regarding the whale gag, you should check out this page published by Douglas Paszkiewicz in ARSENIC LULLABY 6+ years ago (http://www.comicartfans.com/gallerypiece.asp?piece=275039). I think whomever sugested that idea to you may have had some influence.
Thank you for your time,
Mike
Actually, this kind of thing happens all of the time: different people come up with similar ideas individually. I came up with this one and I can assure you I’ve not seen Paszkiewicz’s work before. It’s just a hazard of the occupation. :o)
I also do a version of this in my stand-up act. If you put an infinite number of funny monkeys on a beach with a whale…
Here’s my version:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151493452562360
You’ve got some pretty funny material. Thanks for the link. :o)