Dog Days Cat Nights


(To witness this cartoon getting bigified before your very eye(s), click on the lightbulb.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Pet Connections.

I’ve lived with cats and with dogs and I like them both, but for very different reasons. Cats are much easier house guests since they don’t mind being left alone, they don’t have to be walked, and they don’t require too much attention. Unless you object to house guests who shred your furniture with their claws. Dogs are better if you want an excuse to get outside everyday whether it’s freezing cold and raining or not, if you like to play fetch and other games with non-human animals, and if you want a lot of one-on-one face time with someone who understands your  language but can’t speak a word of it. They both have their benefits and most people find life more enjoyable with a companion animal or twelve.

But if you’re looking for protection in your home, dogs are the way to go. Even a chihuahua will die trying to defend you (often by attacking the ankles and eardrums of the intruder), whereas a cat will likely just be annoyed that your cries for help woke her up.

Dogs are also better for housecleaning. They’ll vacuum up anything edible that you happen to toss on the floor, so your garbage disposal ends up lasting many years longer. Cats won’t provide this service; even if they do eat something you dropped, they’ll just bring it to another room and barf it back up.

Because I’m renting at the moment (because all my money is tied up in a very expensive and childish divorce) I’m not allowed to have pets, per se. So I’ve adopted and named some of the local wildlife in my back garden: Dale the snail, Snyder the Spider, Joe the crow, Robin the robin, and Earl the squirrel.

To round this chat out with some good citizenship, NEVER buy an animal from a breeder or pet store. You can pretty much guarantee that the mother of that animal is a miserable slave to reproduction. You can get pretty much any cat or dog you want from a rescue shelter and they make better pets. Which would you rather have in your home: a snotty rich person who’s had everything handed to him since the day he was born or a person you rescued from a cage and owes you their very life? Remember, it isn’t a fashion accessory, it’s a fellow earthling.


35 thoughts on “Dog Days Cat Nights

  1. Those aren’t the only choices. We’re leaning towards a shelter dog for our next dog, and you’re quite right about avoiding pet stores, but we had a working relationship with a reputable breeder and trainer which provided us with our last four doggies, all wonderful. Cats I have always got from friends with unexpected litters. Well, their CATS had unexpected litters.

  2. Who’s the pussy now, the cat thought to himself, then clawed at the bed-sheet a few times and returned to his nap.

  3. Thanks for your witty comments that make this site extra special! And thanks for your wise suggestions!

    Your soon to be ex-wife sounds like the IRS as a woman. (I just had to look up what IRS even stands for. To my ears it sounds more like they want to give YOU something. Service!? — That’s how it often starts, misunderstandings … )

    But how great to have such a wildlife in the back garden, Dan! I know of people who live in big city holes; looking out the window they can say hello to Rudy the rat, Randy the rat, Rhonda the rat and Ratso the drunk.

    What I almost like best about this cartoon: Friends of mine who just traveled India told me that monkeys entered their room — like a whole herd of them. They came through the open window. Leaving a scene just like the one that’s pictured in your cartoon. Sans the guy tied on the chair. Monkey business! — I guess, if we saw the whole picture, we’d find the guy’s wife lying on the bed, leisurely doing her nails, giving even less a damn than the cat.

    As always I loved to see the observing little visitor from outer space. What’s he gonna report? Or does he ever get to report anything? He usually must get blown up with everything that’s in your pictures — the stick of dynamite!!!

    Is it always another little alien? Earth can’t be a popular place to visit! Not after half of the guys you send there get blown up! Or is it the saucer guy himself who places the dynamite and buzzes off the very next sec?

    So many questions …

    Has a toy company approached you yet to turn the alien into a toy? I’d like a figure of him in his UFO. (He won’t call it an “unidentified flying object” himself, of course. Maybe when he comes out of the supermarket on his home planet with his groceries and climbs in the wrong one — a “wrongly identified flying object”, then. A WIFO. … Oh, I didn’t want to remind you of your divorce twice in one post … Sorry about that!

  4. So, Robin the robin. A bird or a masked man lurking behind a tree? I loved that cartoon! It took my hubby a few minutes to figure it out. That’s part of his charm. I also love that you reminded people that dogs are not a fashion accessory. Yup, you’ve been living in California…

  5. I agree, to an extent, with regard to rescuing four-leggers from shelters. BUT remember … those furries in the pet stores are also alive, and warm, and in need of homes. Because if nobody buys ’em they become unsellable, and then who knows what happens to them?

    We got our pug, Reggie, from a store. That was before we were aware of the breeder situation, as we are today. But we never regretted it. He was a wonderful friend until his death last month, exactly one week shy of his 13th anniversary with us.

    • My comments were only a humorous way of encouraging people not to subsidize the pet breeding industry. All dogs are great, even ones from breeders and pet stores. :o)

      • Though, if we could somehow stop the demand for dogs from stores and breeders, the market would dry up, and they would eventually stop breeding them in that way, if there were no one buying them. It would still be sad for the pets stuck in there, though.

  6. So true about cats, and another thing about getting dogs and cats at the local humane society, is to get a senior dog or cat someone had to give up. All house trained and mostly good manners, you can’t lose. Love the comic my husband and myself fight over who gets to see it first. Keep up the good work.

  7. “…a miserable slave to reproduction… a snotty rich person whose had everything handed to him since the day he was born or..”

    Are we discussing animals or divorce? I forget.

  8. A neighbor witnessed someone trying to break in through one of my windows, they saw my old grey tabby Stormey.. He was clawing the heck out of the intruder!

    The neighbor yelled, cops got called, burglar busted… With bloody arms… ;)

  9. You think cats ignore you in an emergency, try turtles. Better yet, don’t.

    Just last Tuesday I was tied to a chair and called out to Mr. & Mrs. Turtle for help. Did they come and gnaw at the restraints? Nope.

    Dial 911? Nope.

    They did, however, swivel their heads to look at me when I first started yelling. Then they went to sleep.

    But don’t worry about me; I got loose after a few hours and I’m okay now, thanks for asking.

    Lou Stoole

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  12. One of the most thankful dogs that you can adopt is one rescued from a research facility! I adopted my Emma three months ago with the help of the Beagle Freedom Project and it has been the most fulfilling action I’ve taken on behalf of animals! Keep up the fabulous work Dan!

    Happy World Laboratory Animal Liberation Week!

  13. Wow. That just seems so crazy, that your CHNW, about whom you’ve spoken so well over the years, and posted so many affectionate-looking pictures of with yourself, could turn so badly when it comes to breaking up time. That’s sad. :o( Especially when there are not even kids involved.

  14. I just watched a talk you gave for the Vegetarian Society of Hawaii in 2010. Nice. So, did your wife become your ex-ex-girlfriend?

    My wife and I live with a dog, Momo (Japanese for peach), who chose us. An oversized Shi-tzu, she just showed up at our house all dirty and covered with weeds and hung around until we agreed to let her adopt us. We hadn’t planned to have a pet, but it wasn’t long before we couldn’t imagine life without her. That was eight years ago.

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