Till Attrition Does Us Part


bz panel 06-15-13bz strip 06-15-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Wedding Cake Nightmares.

I would not be surprised if a wedding cake topper like this is actually being marketed somewhere. In researching wedding cake images for this cartoon, I found tons of non-traditional ones. Some are disgustingly cute, others are alarmingly odd. Some are pornographic, while this one is rather admirably surreal. What this one is about, I’m afraid to ask.

Even more entertaining are the divorce cake toppers. Yes, there are plenty to choose from. Most seem to have the same disturbing theme, however. Having been through two divorces, I can understand the sentiment but this one takes it a bit too far, I think. The police may want to dig up this divorcee’s back yard.


Whatever your taste in toppers, you can’t beat a cake that is so stupendous on its own that it needs no topper. You may now eat the bride.


20 thoughts on “Till Attrition Does Us Part

  1. Yes, your links turn out to be all awfully bizarre! The toon on the other hand is very funny! I’m so glad that all the weddings I attend have turned out to have tasteful toppers!

  2. The “Eat the Bride” one shure does make me think of my old HS English courses where we’s talk about hidden sexual tones – like where the flowers are placed! [lol]

    That bride looks like she’s having last minute thots of where those flowers are located _ or for that matter: what color they are! Good thing she didn’t go for some blood-red roses!


    8 /

  3. The last one is great, I can imagine the couple storing the “head” in the freezer till their anniversary.

    I attended my Uncle’s third marriage where the Cake top had the Bride in an S&M outfit, and the groom on all fours with a ball gag and leash held by the bride. That’s how we found out about their “Alternate lifestyle”

    The best cake I ever saw, the groom was at his second wedding to a lady 25 years younger than him. Someone stole the bride and replaced it with a baby in a cradle. That is how I learned never to invite friends of the Ex-wife to the wedding.

  4. I think the last wedding topper you showed was a zombie bride (zombies are very popular these days). All the preceding comments were very funny. Thanks for making me smile with your strip and the opportunity for more laughter in your blogs.

    • I knew it was a zombie bride but what I can’t figure out is what kind of couple would choose a zombie bride but a normal groom.

      • Perhaps the bride and groom are great zombie fans and they hope that during the wedding the zombie apocalypse breaks out and, you know how fast the zombie plague spreads, ….. :D

  5. I look forward to more cartoons on the wedding theme, and to the links to your research. I gained 4 pounds just looking at all those cakes, none apparently the “groom cake”, and nary a one referencing Marie Antoinette . . .

  6. “This One Takes It Too Far” reminds me of the farm equipment (shovels, hoes, rakes, etc.) used in the Juan Corona murders that I saw at the California State Archives.

  7. A friend of mine and his wife actually took out their smartphones and changed their relationship status to “married” at their wedding ceremony. I don’t think they had this wedding cake topper tho.. :)

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