Till Attrition Does Us Part

bz panel 06-15-13bz strip 06-15-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Wedding Cake Nightmares.

I would not be surprised if a wedding cake topper like this is actually being marketed somewhere. In researching wedding cake images for this cartoon, I found tons of non-traditional ones. Some are disgustingly cute, others are alarmingly odd. Some are pornographic, while this one is rather admirably surreal. What this one is about, I’m afraid to ask.

Even more entertaining are the divorce cake toppers. Yes, there are plenty to choose from. Most seem to have the same disturbing theme, however. Having been through two divorces, I can understand the sentiment but this one takes it a bit too far, I think. The police may want to dig up this divorcee’s back yard.

 

Whatever your taste in toppers, you can’t beat a cake that is so stupendous on its own that it needs no topper. You may now eat the bride.

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20 Responses to Till Attrition Does Us Part

  1. Susan Hedges says:

    Yes, your links turn out to be all awfully bizarre! The toon on the other hand is very funny! I’m so glad that all the weddings I attend have turned out to have tasteful toppers!

  2. rubber_wonder_boy says:

    The “Eat the Bride” one shure does make me think of my old HS English courses where we’s talk about hidden sexual tones – like where the flowers are placed! [lol]

    That bride looks like she’s having last minute thots of where those flowers are located _ or for that matter: what color they are! Good thing she didn’t go for some blood-red roses!
    YIKES!
    8 /

  3. Skippy says:

    The last one is great, I can imagine the couple storing the “head” in the freezer till their anniversary.

    I attended my Uncle’s third marriage where the Cake top had the Bride in an S&M outfit, and the groom on all fours with a ball gag and leash held by the bride. That’s how we found out about their “Alternate lifestyle”

    The best cake I ever saw, the groom was at his second wedding to a lady 25 years younger than him. Someone stole the bride and replaced it with a baby in a cradle. That is how I learned never to invite friends of the Ex-wife to the wedding.

  4. How else will people know who the bride and groom are?

  5. Lucinda Adams says:

    Love you comics. AND especially you comment after. TANKS

  6. Ha. Maybe they’re checking out each other’s blood test score before they say ‘I do’?

  7. My favorite joke about this was “You knew the marriage was going to fail: instead of a bride and groom on the cake, they had Jacoby & Myers.”

  8. Heidi says:

    I think the last wedding topper you showed was a zombie bride (zombies are very popular these days). All the preceding comments were very funny. Thanks for making me smile with your strip and the opportunity for more laughter in your blogs.

    • Piraro says:

      I knew it was a zombie bride but what I can’t figure out is what kind of couple would choose a zombie bride but a normal groom.

      • Heidi says:

        Perhaps the bride and groom are great zombie fans and they hope that during the wedding the zombie apocalypse breaks out and, you know how fast the zombie plague spreads, ….. :D

  9. Foye Lowe says:

    I look forward to more cartoons on the wedding theme, and to the links to your research. I gained 4 pounds just looking at all those cakes, none apparently the “groom cake”, and nary a one referencing Marie Antoinette . . .

  10. Ali says:

    “This One Takes It Too Far” reminds me of the farm equipment (shovels, hoes, rakes, etc.) used in the Juan Corona murders that I saw at the California State Archives.

  11. Mimi says:

    The alarmingly odd one is about zombies … if she catches him, he turn into one too.

  12. Tiffany Brucculeri says:

    Oh my God, Mr. Piraro, this is your best one yet!!! Awesome!!

  13. Gales of laughter! Being a church organist, standing next to another as I write this, having played too many weddings over the years, my cynicism is just ripe for this…!

  14. Mello Bob says:

    Great cartoon… two love birds tweeting away.

  15. Stina says:

    A friend of mine and his wife actually took out their smartphones and changed their relationship status to “married” at their wedding ceremony. I don’t think they had this wedding cake topper tho.. :)

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