Guess the Guest

Bz panel 07-01-13bz strip 07-01-13Bizarro is brought to you by Guest Host.

Hey, Jazz Pickles. Remember a while back I went to Yosemite for a week with Klamelda? Well, I was able to do that because by good friend and talented colleague, J.C.Duffy of The Fusco Brothers and TheNew Yorker magazine fame, did a week of cartoons for me. It’s the syndicated cartoon world’s version of a vacation, since we are under contract to provide 7 cartoons per week, 52 weeks per year, forever until we retire or die. We don’t get holidays or sick time or vacation time or time off to breast feed our newborns; we just have to keep cranking out cartoons every florping day until we jump off of a bridge. It’s a white-hot hell. But with the help of J.C., I managed to steal a week of downtime. I could just kiss him. (But I promise not to do it here.)

As Duffy says on his blog (which has lots of other fun cartoons of his) the original ailment in this cartoon was “frequent urination.” My editors thought that too many of Duffy’s jokes during this week were edgy so they asked us to downgrade a couple for easier viewing. Duffy chose “restless leg syndrome” for this one, which I think is a terribly funny name for a malady.

Coincidentally and unbeknownst to J. C.,  I’ve suffered from this very thing for years. Nobody knows what causes it or how to treat it effectively but it is miserable and will ruin your life. Once it starts happening regularly, you’ll never get a good night’s sleep for the rest of your life. (I did discover a fairly simple cure, however, and after researching this very treatment online, I found that others are doing the same thing. If you suffer from it, leave a comment and I’ll send you a note on how to get rid of it. Seriously.)

Hope you enjoy this week’s cartoons. I’ll be blogging about each one, as usual.

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36 Responses to Guess the Guest

  1. Dean says:

    Adding ‘florping’ to my vocabulary.

  2. Bik says:

    I’d love to hear the cure!

    • Piraro says:

      Marijuana. Eat or smoke enough to get you just a bit tingly before bed and the restless leg syndrome is history. Of course, the pharmaceutical industry will never admit that. The drugs they put out for it don’t work for shit.

  3. Mr B says:

    My GF was diagnosed with restless leg syndrome. What’s the solution?

    • Piraro says:

      Marijuana. Eat or smoke enough to get you just a bit tingly before bed and the restless leg syndrome is history. Of course, the pharmaceutical industry will never admit that. The drugs they put out for it don’t work for shit and god only knows what kind of side effects you get. None for weed.

  4. Wayno says:

    Restless leg syndrome popped up in Tuesday’s Fusco Brothers too.

    JC might become known as the Restless Leg Cartoonist!

  5. lee weiss says:

    I see in the L A times comics your using guest cartoons, how do I submit a sample of my stuff

    • Piraro says:

      Thanks for the offer. I only use one per year and am already booked up well into the future with professional colleagues of mine who have offered. :o)

  6. Jennifer says:

    Restless leg “cure” – seriously? I’d like to know. Thanks!

    • Piraro says:

      Marijuana. Eat or smoke enough to get you just a bit tingly before bed and the restless leg syndrome is history. Of course, the pharmaceutical industry will never admit that. The drugs they put out for it don’t work for shit and god only knows what kind of side effects you get. None for weed.

  7. Heather says:

    I’d really be interested in your RLS treatment.

    • Piraro says:

      Marijuana. Eat or smoke enough to get you just a bit tingly before bed and the restless leg syndrome is history. Of course, the pharmaceutical industry will never admit that. The drugs they put out for it don’t work for shit and god only knows what kind of side effects you get. None for weed.

  8. Liz Masters says:

    I have somewhat restless legs, but I have noticed marked improvement since I started taking magnesium supplements. Is there something else I should be trying?

    • Piraro says:

      I had it relentlessly for hours every single night. Nothing helped until I tried marijuana. Eat or smoke enough to get you just a bit tingly before bed and the restless leg syndrome is history. Of course, the pharmaceutical industry will never admit that. The drugs they put out for it don’t work for shit and god only knows what kind of side effects you get. None for weed.

  9. Mike says:

    I’ve suffered from restless leg syndrome for years. I’ve found that wearing long underwear to bed helps; or most things that keep my legs very warm. It also helps to exercise. I notice that it is worse when I haven’t been running. I do, however, take Requip for it. It was prescribed by a doctor and it works pretty well. Sometimes, I need to take an extra dose, like when I haven’t been running for a while. But it can make you drowsy the next day; so if you have other ideas, I’d be glad to know.

    • Piraro says:

      My solution is cheaper and simpler, but illegal in some places: Marijuana. Eat or smoke enough to get you just a bit tingly before bed and the restless leg syndrome is history. Of course, the pharmaceutical industry will never admit that. The drugs they put out for it haven’t worked for my father and god only knows what kind of side effects you’ll get. None for weed. I’m an avid exerciser, too, but that has never mitigated my problems. Pot eliminated it immediately.

  10. Starshadow says:

    I’d seriously like to find out the cure. Thanks. BTW, I have loved your cartoons since…well, let’s just say decades.

    • Piraro says:

      Marijuana. Eat or smoke enough to get you just a bit tingly before bed and the restless leg syndrome is history. Of course, the pharmaceutical industry will never admit that. The drugs they put out for it haven’t worked for my father and god only knows what kind of side effects you’ll get. None for weed. I’m an avid exerciser, too, but that has never mitigated my problems. Pot eliminated it immediately.

  11. Doctor G says:

    Just great. I’ve gotten rid of the restless leg syndrome, but now all my legs want to do is lie around and watch Cheech & Chong movies.

  12. Tanja says:

    Copy and paste is awesome, isn’t it?

  13. Snick says:

    So, Dan, what’s the cure?
    Oh, nevermind, I found it 6 or 8 times before this post :)

  14. Linus Hollis, ScD says:

    yes, it’s often illegal to use Cannabis, but the active ingredient in Cannabis that helps RLS is not the THC, but the muscle relaxant, even present in hemp rope. The easiest place to get this muscle relaxant is from Blackberry or Raspberry leaves. Make a tea, muddling the leaves after they boil. Drink as little as may work, 3-4 leaves in a cup. Drink half, if you’re woken up by RLS, drink the other half. Side effect: regularity. No DUIs. Far cheaper & legal. A lot less fun.

  15. Dizzy J. says:

    Loved the snake with the monogrammed towels today. I actually saw a pampered python enjoying its own large personal bathtub at a temple in Myanmar. It is believed to be the reincarnation of the mother of a famous Buddhist monk and has a marble-lined tub as well as a velvet comforter to sleep on–but no fancy bath towels, poor thing. If I had your email address, I’d send you the photo.

  16. Pingback: Problem, Officer? | Broadsheet.ie

  17. Tom Almy says:

    Regarding restless leg syndrome, I’d suffered from it for decades and happened to discover a cure — Benadryl. It’s mild sedative effect does the trick, and it has the benefit of being extremely inexpensive (and legal) in generic form. It doesn’t seem to have any bad side effects.

  18. Crusty Ol' Bastard says:

    I’m impressed… you really did suggest a cure. I thought for sure you were just going to say “cut your legs off”.

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