Bizarro is brought to you today by On The Floor?
Greetings, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been doing some thinking about my role in the Bizarro Empire and have been wondering if the moniker I’ve been using to refer to myself, “Supreme Jazz Pickle,” properly denotes the extreme honor and privilege of my office as leader of such an impressive empire of funny and smart people as you, my beloved Jazz Pickles.
Accordingly, I have prepared the following proclamation:
From this day forth, I, Danny Chuck Piraro, in all humility and humbleness, humbly accept the rights, responsibilities, and obligations of the office of Grand Imperial Exhalted Jazz Poobah. Accordingly, I hereby pledge to exert my most biggest efforts to defend, protect, and revere the field of cartooning and provide the best comics it is within my scientific ability to muster to anyone calling themself a Jazz Pickle, until I am no longer able to perform this function, or am otherwise engaged in cartoon-preventing activities, or dead.
I only wish someone had been here to take a picture of me taking that oath so you could have seen the humble look on my face.
BIZARRO BASEMENT: Our selection from Archive Island today is from 1998 and is was inspired by the fact that I was noticing a growing number of white American couples naming their kids with Old West-sounding names. At the time, the couple across the street from me had two boys named Cody and Luke, I think. Since I’m a cartoonist and this is the sort thing I do, I pushed that to it’s logical extreme. If you have any pet peeve naming trends you’d like to share, please do.