Tough Guys

bz panel 11-15-13bz strip 11-15-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Public Service Announcement.

Greetings, Jazz Pickles. This is your Grand Imperial Exhalted Jazz Poobah here to say that once you’re a Jazz Pickle, you may call me “Poobah Pickle.” If you catch anyone outside of our ranks calling me that, slap them upside the head with a piece of soggy pie.

Today’s offering is a dandy little ditty from my good friend and colleague, Dan “Sorry But You’re Not Really Elvis, Dude” McConnell. His original version was a little different so we tinkered around and came up with this one, which I’m pretty happy with. Ever wandered into a biker bar by mistake? Ever wandered into one like this? Which would be scarier?  See Dan’s FB page here for more of our collaborations.

I’m happy today to include the strip version of this one because it has two extra characters, one with a gigantic “biker’s butt,” which is always fun to draw. And, of course, the lead character rides for the Bizarro Jazz Pickle bike club. (First person to start a so-named cycle club will have a royal title bestowed upon them by your Poobah Pickle himself. Get crackin’!)

BIZARRO OF THE LIVING DEAD: Bz 11-12-07 HellsAnglesOn the subject of biker dudes, one of my loyal Jazz Pickles told me yesterday that this was his favorite all-time Bizarro cartoon so I thought I’d feature it today in the moldy refrigerator contents section. Hope you non-math types enjoy it, too.







Oh, yeah, and since I’m supposed to be featuring a picture of my mustache on all of my posts this month (Which I totally have forgotten to do most of the time because I’ve got a touch of idiocy that I just can’t shake.) Here’s one I call “Mustache Wax Failure.”


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45 Responses to Tough Guys

  1. Museum Guard says:

    What’s the significance of the “71″ on the back of the shirt on the guy in the back?

  2. Richard says:

    Mustache wax failure… Yeow!! Scared me a bit.

  3. Jym says:

    • I want to go to that bar. I hope that hapless visitor escapes unscathed, even if he has to dance to “Tequila” while wearing elevator shoes.

  4. Happy says:

    That is one of my favorite faces too.

  5. Lou Stoole says:

    Do you have any idea what a cyclist can do to a Hells Angel biker with one of those bicycle pumps?

    Think about it.

  6. Lou Stoole says:

    About your cartoon the other day, Jumble Fever… wasn’t that a Spike Lee film?

  7. Mike Sanchez says:

    This is a really fun one. The old “Hell’s Angles” one is great, math challenged or not! Where do I order my “BJP” Biker Jazz Pickle shirt?

  8. Lou Stoole says:

    About Jumble Fever: isn’t there a treatment for this?

    Speaking of modern medicine… at Trader Joe’s last night, I saw uncured franks. They’ve been there for weeks.


    Just askin’…

  9. John Bigboote says:

    It looks like the strip version actually has 3 (or at least 2.5) extra characters, counting the lower half of the person under the balloon. It looks like she might be female, too, which would make her the only non-jazz sausage there.

  10. wow! i hav ebeen dreaming of this scene for so long! Now im compelled to make it into a movie!

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  12. Michael Roth says:

    The most painful sight today: Seeing that eye on the pool table!

    Second most painful sight today: Seeing you eating your mustache!

    Third most painful sight today: You disgorging a hairball. — No, wait! That was just my imagination.

    • Piraro says:

      If those are the worst things that happen to you today, Michael, consider yourself lucky. :^}

      • Michael Roth says:

        Haha! “Consider yourself lucky!”, that’s what my brand new cellie told me when he was shown in by the warder a minute ago. Chance brought it about that this gentleman also wears a jacket with a skull; he’s just three times bigger than the guys in your cartoons above. Oh, I have to go now; new cellie wants to show me something …

  13. Heywood J. Bloom says:


    Please do not present any more cartoons with men dressed in “plum smugglers” or “banana hammocks.” It’s very disturbing to those of us who are insecure heterosexuals.

    Thank you for your consideration,


    • Piraro says:

      That’s between you and your therapist, Heywood. I happen to think the human body is a beautiful thing, even in cartoon form.

  14. Foye Lowe says:

    There’s an ad below inviting or ordering me to “Browse 10000 Single Asian Women’s Profiles”, but NOT ONE of the samples shown is in profile. Not ONE. I’ll bet there aren’t even 10000 women, either. Let me check . . .

  15. Joanne says:

    HI FRIEND!!!! I LOVE these cartoons today :) Making me smile….I’m sharing on my FB….but IDK what BJP stands for…. LOL! BTW.. when I scrolled to your photo of you with your ‘stache in your mouth ,my immediate thought was.. ‘Weirdo!!!!’ LOL JK!!! ( I used as many of the ABC shorthand things I could think of)What are those called?

    your friend, Joanne

  16. Love the ‘Bird Beer’ sign…

  17. Florian says:

    I’m a cyclist and sometimes stop by a local “sports” bar while out on a ride. During football season everyone is watching football and wearing football jerseys with their team name. I always feel a bit out of place wearing my spandex, gloves and bike helmet. Love the comic. Thanks Dan.

  18. Marc says:

    When I saw BJP, I assumed it stood for the Bharatiya Janata Party and immediately thought “Funny, that guy doesn’t look like a Hindu nationalist…”

  19. Doctor G says:

    Do you know about the Soundpony bar here in your old home town? It actually is a biker bar of the type featured in your strip today.

  20. Lou Stoole says:

    Talk about attention to detail: note yellow jersey guy’s “plum smuggling” cycling shorts, chiseled calves and shaved legs!

    Dan, it’s practically damn photo-realistic!

  21. Ginger says:

    CanI get ann 8×10 glossy of Mustache Wax Failure?

  22. Pete Boggs says:

    Cruising along on the highway a few days ago, I noticed a road sign announcing the exit for the Tulsa Air & Space Museum. I think I must be Bizarro-rized, because an image came to mind of a large, mostly bare museum area dominated by two pedestals bearing a pair of seemingly empty glass display cases. Brass plaques on the pedestals identify the contents of the cases, one of which is “Air” and the other “Space”. A mustachioed man stares bemusedly the display, hand on goateed chin, while touristy types take pictures. Should I seek professional counseling?

  23. Benny the Icepick says:

    I’m one of those weirdo cyclists who wears his skintights on the 1-mile commute to work. I know it’s silly, but there’s something empowering about dressing up like a superhero on your way to the office (even if the bike shorts make you look like you’re wearing a diaper).

    For years I have fantasized about showing up in lycra to a bar on “biker night,” but as I have zero upper body strength with which to defend myself I have yet to live it out.

  24. Rob Merc says:

    Will some microbrewer PLEASE brew Bizarro Boom Beer and Bizarro Bird Beer? I’ll take a case of each.

  25. Bicycle messenger and racer for 14 years. I haven’t laughed so hard reading the newspaper for a long time. Thanks for that one, man!

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