Brains Feet Trunks


bz panel 11-18-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Great Band Name.

Are you tired of zombies yet? Of course not, nobody is. Zombies are the biggest dead thing since Elvis. This particular zombification is brought to you by the fermented mind of my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. To read the riveting account of our collaboration, click these here blue words.  Oddly enough, the next day, a cartoon of Wayno’s appeared in Hilary Price’s Rhymes with Orange. See the comic and read his account of the process here.

I didn’t include the strip versions of these cartoons because they’re just drawings of empty hallways and who the hell needs that?bz panel 11-19-13





Today’s foot massage cartoon is a collaboration with another of my good friends, Cliff Harris. The mechanism in this gag––a common sign taken a different way––reminds me a lot of a gag I did back in the last century, which is featured today in the archives section below. Not that the sign in the older cartoon is “common.”







BIZARRO BOOMERANG: And here it is. A simple, dumb joke but it still works for me. Hope you like it.Bz Elephant Rides 1986WEB



28 thoughts on “Brains Feet Trunks

    • Perspective resetting is one of the many services I offer here at Bizarro International Headquarters. By the way, it is also a good idea to rotate your senses ever six months, for more even wear.

  1. About the 1986 cartoon: the shadowy man in the background seems to be pulling on the shadowy elephant’s shadowy penis.

    Is this what’s going on and if so, why? Elephants don’t like that kind of stuff, do they?

    • You, Lou, are a problem child. You know dern well that Our Grand Exaltedness would NOT draw a man pulling on an elephant penis. The elephant is sitting in a wagon, like the one in the foreground, and the man is pulling the handle of the wagon, which is much less likely to incur the elephant’s wrath or lust.

    • Haha. I like that. People who do that actually call themselves “pescatarian.” No, I’m not kidding. But I like vegaquarium MUCH better!

  2. Forgot to say I also really loved the elephant gag with the elephant being pulled in a wagon on the horizon. I love the subtlety of that touch, instead of putting the elephant in the foreground. It’s a nice second payoff after getting the gag. But one thing puzzles me about this cartoon, where did that elephant get the quarter?

  3. “I didn’t include the strip versions of these cartoons because they’re just drawings of empty hallways and who the hell needs that?” Really, oh Grand Poobah Pickle? With your exalted talents, surely (I know, don’t call you “surely”) the hallway could have actually stole the spotlight from the gag itself. It is essentially a blank canvass. The possibilities are so endless! In the future, please honor the hallways of the world with your exaltedness. Your loyal and humble subjects have spoken.

    • Right you are, humble servant, but in this case, Our Exaltedness needed to finish his deadlines and didn’t have time to clutter the hallway up with brilliant inspiration. Also, I didn’t want to distract from the gag.
      Thanks for your reverent note and stay pickled.

  4. Say, why just this morning I was looking for a drawing of an empty hallway. I found some corridor and passage way drawings but they didn’t quite do it for me. Yes sir, if I found the right drawing of an empty hallway, I would order lots of print. Dozens. Dozen of dozens. Yes, I would get 144 prints. I thought about getting double that number, but decided that would be two gross. Then I had a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of milk.

  5. The elephant on the wagon has always been on of my favs, but for some reason the style seems different then your usual stuff, even your older cartoons.

    And since we’re chatting anyway, I thought I’d bring your attention to a nerdy vegan trend, Soylent.

    • I pulled that cartoon from a book of mine from the era and it looks pretty much like the other cartoons in that book. My style has changed a lot over the years, though, you’re right.

      Never heard of “soylent” but I love the idea of the name.

  6. I only know the little girl from that one little panel, but I think I know her pretty well and I think she’s not the type to be defeated by this. I think she goes home and sends away for a mail-order “turn your self into an elephant” kit. Then she realizes she no longer has the 25 cents for the ride and wanders around town, with her trunk swaying sadly. Suddenly, there is a bad snow storm and all the cars in the town get stuck in the snow. As an elephant, she pulls all the cars out of the snow. The mayor of the town, to thank her, gives her a quarter. And a peanut.

  7. This is the first Bizarro strip I had ever seen. Back in 1986 I worked at a place where I ran a big commercial IBM photocopier. When it would break down, the repair technician would always photocopy a Bizarro strip enlarged to full page, and leave it as proof that the copier was working again. Thus this strip will forever have a place in my heart.

    The one classic strip that I would love to see is a pre 1996 strip where a teenage girl is sitting on her bed and she says “Why are dogs so loving, friendly, happy and well adjusted” and the thought bubble over the dog says “It’s because we were taken from our parents at an early age.”

    • I’d forgotten about that cartoon, thanks for the memory. I’ll see if I can find it and I’ll post it in the archives section.

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