Shaggy Dogg Storry

bz panel 11-25-13bz strip 11-25-13bz panel 11-26-13bz strip 11-26-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Luchador.

Welcome to Twofer Tuesday. The “two” in twofer stands for two cartoons, as you have most certainly figured out if your brain function is anywhere close to normal.

The reason I often post two cartoons on Tuesday is because I was too busy on Monday to post. The reason I’m often too busy on Monday to post is that that is the day that I am supposed to send in a new week’s worth of cartoons to King Features but I’ve rarely got them done and don’t feel I can waste any time posting. The reason I’ve rarely got them done is because on weekends I am either too busy or too lazy to get much work done. (On a really good weekend, it is both.) The reason I say “lazy” is because I love few things more than lounging around on Sundays watching football with my goddam dog, Jemima, who sleeps on my lap. The reason she’s a “goddam” dog is because when I leave her home alone for too long (more than 90 seconds) she finds something of mine to drag out to the backyard and chew on. To date, she has destroyed two pairs of my shoes, a pair of motorcycle glasses, numerous socks (I assume they’ve been destroyed because they’ve been missing for a long time) a pair of pants, a glove, a stocking cap (Canadians: what you amusingly call a “tuke” or “toque”) a TV remote, over 850 pounds of trash and recycling (her favorite treat when I forget to put the recycling bin out of reach) a bunch of bananas, and the wooden gate separating my yard from the neighbor’s.

A reasonable person might ask, is she a large or mean goddam dog and do you hate her? No. She is small and very sweet and well behaved when I’m at home and I love her more than my own children. The same person or a similar one might ask, why don’t you put her in a goddam dog crate when you are gone? That was tried once and she destroyed the crate. This is a goddam dog who does not like to be alone.

So, being the problem solver that I am, I found a homeless dude to stay with her when I’m not here. Here comes another question from an imaginary person: You live with a homeless dude? That’s very charitable. No, he sleeps in a box in the driveway beside my house when I’m home. I’m not running a mission here, people.

As of yet, I have not found the homeless dude in the yard all chewed up so it seems to be working.

BIZOMBIES: Here, like a joyful memory from the past, is one of my favorite surgery cartoons I’ve done in my seven-decade career. I hope you like it at least a little. bz print 03-31-04 surgeryWEB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One last thing: I’m supposed to be posting pics of myself and my mustache all month for this Movember Movement thing. I usually forget but the month is nearly over and I may not think to do it again so here’s one last shot.DanMustacheQuad

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36 Responses to Shaggy Dogg Storry

  1. Analise says:

    Teehee. I’ve I’ve always enjoyed your comics and facetious sense of humor.
    Keep on, Piraro! :D

  2. Rj Naef says:

    HAHAHAHA
    I thought of the JUNIOR MINT Episode of Seinfeld

  3. Tokyo James says:

    hilarious! (as always)

  4. Lou Stoole says:

    It appears as though your mustache has a mustache.

  5. Eloise says:

    U are the most “goddam” fkng outrageous DUDE on the whole “goddam” fkng Planet….We Love U for it..!!!

  6. Gary Hoffman says:

    Love your humor. Been reading your cartoons for years.

  7. Bee Lehman says:

    Love the ‘stash!!!!

  8. danmccartist says:

    It Lives! Looks like it’s conducting a symphony….Handel Bars Mustachaiah.

  9. John Sweney says:

    We give every dog a $2000 destruction budget from day one. That way we do not fret over the lost shoes, chewed table legs, etc. We just tally the expenses against their account and accept their endless kisses. Much less stress, and in 30 years no dog has gone over budget!

  10. Ginger says:

    Oooooh…will you send me a hi res copy of this pic of you as well? You were going to send me another one, but perhaps it slipped your mind. I’m finally getting my Pie Riots of the Caribbean framed and these would look swell next to it.

    xo
    g

  11. Foye Lowe says:

    A seven decade career, eh? That’s right out of Genesis . . .

  12. Life is Just One Long Comic Strip says:

    Oops! That medical assistant in the foreground with his/her/its back turned appears to have failed to put on at least his/her/its left glove. One must wonder if this is just an oversight on the part of the medical assistant, if this was a case of “casual Monday,” or perhaps they were there to perform a self-lobotomy with that sharp-looking instrument – in which case, it’s OK if they infect themselves then. If this was an oversight, what hospital was this comic taken from? If I need surgery, I don’t want to go there. Using a spork for surgery is perfectly acceptable, though.

  13. Lucinda Adams says:

    Dude, get you goddamn dog a doggie friend.

  14. kitty says:

    What a cutie! (the dog, of course)

  15. Bill Merrow says:

    Wow, almost like having training wheels, my stash just droops down.

  16. Arthur says:

    I like it a lot.

  17. Marie says:

    A “tuque” (tuk) is a canadian winter whoolen hat.
    A “toque” (tok) is a french kitchen chief white puffy hat.
    :-)

  18. TomK says:

    Dan,

    Check “lover her more” oopsie. At least your goddam dog is not dog-gone! :o)

  19. philipp michel reichold says:

    aren’t you afraid the dog and homeless guy will run off together?

  20. TimBo says:

    So that’s what a “stocking cap” is. How quaint!

    Sorry, I don’t mean to cause offense.

  21. RobNoxious says:

    Hey Neighbor!

    I just saw this on The Facebooks:
    http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/msg/4215048660.html
    and my immediate thought was, of course; “I bet you could play Jazz with that thing, which would make it…”
    Happy Day of Giving Thanks!

    See ya ’round,
    Rob

  22. Mark Edwards says:

    Just a heads up that Bizarro is out of this world. At least the K2 Concept is:

    “Last August, it looked as if the NASA’s Kepler space telescope was as good as scrap due to the failure of its attitude control system. Now the space agency proposes what it calls the K2 mission concept [http://www.gizmag.com/kepler-repair-k2-solar-pressure/29925/], which may fix the problem by using the Sun to regain attitude control and allow Kepler to resume its search for extrasolar planets.”

  23. j doe says:

    okay dan…I need help again…why is the doctor asking for a spork?…that is an eating utensil I think…does he plan on eating the patient?…certainly you wouldn’t condone cannibalism here…thx again…

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