Catchup

bz panel 12-02-13bz strip 12-02-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Where’s the Baby?

I’ve been remiss lately in keeping my blog completely current so I’m going to do some catching up today.

This gag about a hair salon reminds me of the hair salon my mother went to in the 70s, when I was a teenager. She loved her hairdresser, Phillip, and thought he was just the funniest, coolest guy; so easy to talk to. She couldn’t believe that a good-looking man with such a great personality had never been married, even though he was in his early forties.

I know you see the punchline coming, but this was the early 70s and homosexuality was not yet discussed publicly. There weren’t any TV shows with gay characters, very few mainstream movies made any reference to it (and the few that did were considered “adult”) so my mother understandably had no “gay-dar” whatsoever. As far as she knew, she’d never even met a homosexual, which she had been raised to believe was an unholy, deviant lifestyle chosen by perverts. Anyway, she convinced me to let Phillip cut my hair so I went. She was right; he was good looking, witty, charming, cool, mid-forties, had a male roommate, and went by “Phillip” instead of “Phil.” My own rudimentary, inexperienced gaydar was off the charts.

When I got home I mentioned to my mom that Phillip wasn’t married because he was gay. She totally cooked her wig over this horrible accusation and so I dropped it. But here’s the real moral to the story: I was wrong. He was actually Moses, which is why my mother’s bright, red hair was always parted boldly down the middle. And that’s a totally true story. Except for the Moses part and the color of my mom’s hair.bz panel 12-03-13bz strip 12-03-13

 

Which brings us to this cartoon about a typical big game hunter who is full of the trademark arrogance of our species. Most of you Jazz Pickles know how I feel about the premise that everything in the universe exists for us, the spoiled brats of a magic, invisible super hero in the sky, to use and abuse at our slightest whim. The point of this cartoon, for me, is that if you’re killing things and cutting their heads off for your wall, what difference does it really make where you find them?

None of the animals in this gag were injured (or even inconvenienced) in the making of this cartoon, which was the idea of my friend and colleague, Dan McConnell. bz panel 12-04-13

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

bz strip 12-04-13

This caveman cartoon is about my unnatural love (sarcasm) for contest shows where average Americans jump around, squeal, and gyrate onstage in hopes of impressing a panel of celebrity judges. If there were a planet where TV had none of this kind of thing, I would go there, even if I had to walk.

 

 

bz panel 11-27-13

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here now are a couple of cartoons I’ve neglected to post on the blog recently, mostly because I’ve been in a foreign prison and only just escaped. (By “foreign prison” I mean that I’ve been too busy or lazy to keep up my usual, unrelenting work pace lately.)

 

The first one features a pit bull, which I believe to be a completely safe breed unless taught to be vicious by humans, a completely unsafe breed.bz panel 11-16-13

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then there are these clowns.

 

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40 Responses to Catchup

  1. dave says:

    Neanderthal’s got talent…! Too funny!

  2. Maria says:

    You’re not lazy, you’re probably in winter hibernation mode.

    And I agree with your about pit bulls. I’ve had two and they were the best dogs ever, unless you’re the mailman. Then it was game on.

  3. another says:

    Glad to see that the Bunny’s Pie Repair empire continues to expand. Yet another new location! Saved our Thanksgiving with a last minute pumpkin job that I thought was hopeless.

    (Not an investor. Just a fan.)

  4. Thanks for catching up! The funny yet fitting pics that you link to must take quite a bit of time to locate just the right ones. Do you spend much time locating the perfect funny pic to link to? For what it’s worth, I visit every hyperlink in your blog posts and find them very enjoyable.

    • Piraro says:

      Yay! I don’t spend too much time looking for links. I’ve gotten good at it over the years and can find something appropriate fairly quickly now. :^)

  5. Dr_Duck says:

    I have just started clicking the links in the text. Oh, I clicked occasionally. But not all of them. But suddenly, “Where’s the baby” brought me to my senses. What have I missed! I will heretofore click like a mad link-clicking fool, always and everything. There is nothing I don’t appreciate about this blog. (And I shall leisurely travel back in time, clicking all those links, too)

    • Piraro says:

      That is so gratifying to hear. I fear that most people don’t bother with the links but I think they’re worth it!

      • Doctor G says:

        I bet more of us out here in Bizarroland click on the links than you think. I wouldn’t miss them. They are the icing on the cake that is your comic strip.

  6. sabina says:

    Good thing she didn’t get the Burning Bush treatment at Moses’…. er I guess that’ll be more of a salon treatment …

  7. celita says:

    you sir, are my favorite cartoonist since charles addams. if i weren’t already happily married (32 years next month) and well past menopause, i would want you to father my children. they are 24 and 31 and already have a father, but i would still want you to. seriously, i love your work. it is warped, and funny and filled with puns. a body can ask for nothing more.

    • Piraro says:

      Thanks so much for this amazing validation of both my cartooning and reproductive skills! By the way, your kids are the same ages as mine!

  8. David T.G. Riches says:

    The cartoon from 12.2.2013 made me think more of Mr. Larry Fine from the Three Stooges than Moses parting the Red Sea of hair. For a moment I thought Moses may have been related to Bozo or Clarabell The Clown.

    On an unrelated note what happened to the Moose antler from the panel to the strip on the comic for 12.3.2013? Just weirdly curious is all.
    Thanks for the time an the smiles.

    • Piraro says:

      Regarding the moose antler, I often move elements around between the panel and strip version to facilitate the composition. That’s an “arsty” way of saying “to make it look better.” :^]

  9. danmccartist says:

    Thanks for the picture…..I’ve lost weight.

  10. Foye Lowe says:

    The larger stuffed animal collection cartoon made me realize something, that the wider strip can include a lot more drawing of interest. Now I see that you’ve been cheating your fans by not doing the “small, medium, large” Goldilocks thing. We’re only getting the small & medium versions.

    Fellow fans, join me in demanding a third version of each cartoon, one which would fill a room. It’s the only way to keep karma in balance!

  11. Pogonip says:

    Sadly, some zoos have sold surplus animals to hunting ranches in Texas. It’s a horrible practice that should be stopped. Some of the animals are very accustomed to humans and not frightened of them, so they are abused to give the paying hunters a “better experience.” In any event, all the animals are shot and killed.

  12. LaurieT says:

    Why hold back? The big game hunter could have walls covered with dog and cat heads from his local animal shelter.

  13. Elizabeth Margulies says:

    never miss your joke of the day-read it first in the paper-brightens everyday for us

  14. Jim Hickman says:

    Glad you used a pit bull for that gag. In Ontario, where I live, they banned the breed about five years ago. So Staffordshire terrier breeders went out of business. Also, the wording of the law was vague about what constitutes a pit bull. As if a breed itself is dangerous, and not the whack-job humans who train their animals to be vicious.

  15. Chris McKillop says:

    Is the Jane Russell terrier is still missing in action? Loved that one.

  16. DoctorG says:

    Speaking of your co-conspirator, Wayno, I came across this in the course of Xmas shopping:

    http://www.amazon.com/Nine-West-Womens-Wayno-Leather/dp/B005AKB8NS/ref=sr_1_65?s=shoes&ie=UTF8&qid=1386473827&sr=1-65

  17. rhhardin says:

    Pit Bulls are chiefly sturdy, which is why they’re used as therapy dogs in the underground therapy dog market.

    Sniffing butts is actually sniffing anal glands, which produce a signature scent. The loss of an anal gland is a social disaster for a dog.

    There’s a product you can add to dog food, by the way, that “gives feces an unpleasant taste,” to quote the informative ad copy.

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