Bizarro is brought to you today by The Power of Three.
Since it is Wednesday and I have not yet posted any cartoons this week, you get three. Hooray, wunderbar, groovy.
1. If your cholesterol and weight are high your doctor may say he’d like to “get your numbers down.” But this patient is an ancient Roman so he uses the word “numerals” instead. That is supposed to be the joke. What happens next is the doctor is cleaved in half by a sword and his head is displayed on a pike in the town square. I didn’t include that in the gag because it’s gross.
2. A good friend of mine didn’t get this joke at first because he thought the dog at right was too good to be a doodle. Maybe he has a point, I don’t know. Because I can draw good, perhaps my attempt at a regular non-drawing person’s doodle is too well. You be the judge. This gag was a collaboration with my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. Here’s what he had to said about it.
(Note to grammar nazis: the errors in the previous paragraph are intentional because I sometimes find it amusing to talk this way.)
3. My last cartoon in today’s post is an idea by my good friend and cartoon colleague, Dan McConnell. He has a smutty mind, so naturally this cartoon is about pornography. The truth is that in societies where women are completely covered all the time, a glimpse of an ankle is, indeed, sexually arousing. Which means that in our current society where nothing is hidden, nothing is arousing. Damn. Dan McConnell hangs out here.