Tattoo Find Funny Age Gumby

bz panel 03-08-14bz strip 03-08-14Bizarro is brought to you today by a Prison For Bearded Children.

We start this post with last Saturday’s cartoon, which I have not posted yet because I was on a secret CIA mission to the moon. It was lovely up there but I was almost killed by secret agents from somewhere in the Andromeda galazy. Damn, it’s exciting being a cartoonist.

 

Starting with the wedding cartoon, I will say that I’ve been involved in far too many weddings. Always as the groom, never as a best man. If you’re like me, one of the many sickening things that occurs to you when you’re going through a divorce is how embarrassing it is that you had so many friends and relatives spend their time and money on a trip to your public declaration that you’ve found the right person and your love is special, then having them find out later that your marriage was no more special than the average third date. Bummer, dude. My most recent bride had a lot of tattoos, but that wasn’t the impetus for this cartoon, nor the reason for our divorce.bz panel 03-10-14bz strip 03-10-14

 

Monday’s cartoon is about an archeological dig in which one man found something important. Something quite like this happened to me twice in the nearly ten years that I was married to the aforementioned tattooed lady. I lost my wedding ring on two separate occasions and found it later both times. The first was in the pool beneath a waterfall in Hawaii, of all places. It slipped off my finger in the deluge of water pounding down into the pool and I immediately reached down to try to find it. There was nothing but potato-sized, round rocks beneath me. I searched and searched, blindly feeling around beneath me for several minutes to no avail. I called the tattooed lady over and said, “I just lost my wedding ring! I’m going to go back to the car and get my snorkel mask and see if I can find it. Stand right here to mark the spot until I get back!” She did, then as I was wading out of the pool, she stooped down, put her hand among the rocks and found it. I erroneously took it as a sign that our marriage would last forever. The second time was less interesting because it happened in our own apartment, but the ring was missing for over a year before found again. That time I did not take it as a sign because our marriage was by that time, seriously on the rocks. (pun intended)bz panel 03-11-14

 

Tuesday’s cartoon is about the ponderous mystery behind The New Yorker’s cartoon editing process. In my business, it’s pretty hard to spit without hitting a colleague who has wasted years of their life submitting cartoons to NYer magazine, with no success. When you look through any given edition, however, you see a few brilliant efforts and a lot of amazingly mediocre nothings that leads one to wonder how they go about choosing cartoons for publication. I do not know the answer, but I’m guessing a chimp and a dartboard are involved. I’m happy to say I’ve never submitted to New Yorker because I’ve never felt that what my life was missing was more disappointment.bz panel 03-12-14

 

 

 

 

Today’s cartoon is about disappointment of a different kind and comes from my dear friend, Cliff Harris The King Of Wordplay. Here we see two citizens who are both excluded from enjoying a particular TV program because of their age. The dog might enjoy it, though.

 

 

 

 

bz 11-08-96 gumbyREZARRO: Today’s ancient cartoon from the archeology wing of Bizarro Interenational Headquarters is from 1996. If you don’t know who Gumby and Pokey is, you’ve got some googling to do, amigo.

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18 Responses to Tattoo Find Funny Age Gumby

  1. Wag says:

    My theory about the whole thing about New Yorker cartoons is this; people who read the New Yorker are cool. Really cool. So they don’t want to blow their cool by reading something that really makes them laugh out loud (especially in a public place) for fear of blowing said cool. Therefor, anything that might elicit more than a half-grin accompanied by a slight backward nod of the head will be immediately rejected.

    • Piraro says:

      You might be onto something. I lived in NYC for ten years and New Yorkers do tend to think they’re cool. :^}

  2. Bill says:

    My favorite NYer cartoon, from many decades ago: The scene — a small house on a warm summer night, the wife on the porch by the open front door, looking up at the night sky. We can also see the husband, through the living room window, watching TV. The woman says “Honey, you really should come look at the moon.” Above and behind the house, taking up most of the night sky, is the moon looking very, very, close.

  3. robin orona says:

    that’s the cutest pokey i’ve ever seen.

  4. Linda Marshall says:

    Way way back in the days of hard contact lenses, a friend of mine lost one in a snowbank next to the bus stop. Of course the tiny clear piece of plastic was impossible to find in the snow. She got on the bus, went to work. Next day, waiting for the same bus at the same bus stop, she looked over at the snowbank and there was her contact, glinting at her in the sun.

  5. Jeff T says:

    What? A wedding without pie or dynamite? A bad omen for this unlucky couple.

  6. qwkslvr says:

    If it said “For people of ages between 4 and 104″, even the dog could have said it

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  8. Arthur Toporovsky says:

    the urban gang member on right looks more like a hipster or such, but overall this made me laugh like there’s no tomorrow.

  9. Jay Snell says:

    The old one is great. Thanks for dredging it up!

  10. Jenny Jenkins says:

    Hi Dan: Neither I, nor my husband wear our wedding rings for every day, but only for special occasions and for family pictures. We’ve been married for 40 years. I’ve come to conclusion, after seeing many of my friends who have worn most elaborate wedding and engagement rings, but who have divorced, that it is not the ring that keeps the couple together…

    My other point is that I read the comics in the Chicago Trib. and comments therein: most posters like to point out how many of your “icons” they have found that day. I wish you would have a code, say next to your ID, to let us know how many you’ve included, just so we will know if we’ve found them all.

    • Piraro says:

      Your wish is my command. Above my signature is a small number that tells you how many icons I’ve hidden in the cartoon. I’ve actually been doing that for a few years now. :^}

      • Jenny Jenkins says:

        Thank you for your reply and thank you for the clue. I’m not going to let on, that I know what to look for.

  11. Greg Fitze says:

    I got one in to the final three once and I didn’t think it was at all funny.
    There’s an anti-caption site for New Yorker captions. http://www.alinla.com. Some are far funnier (some not) than the bland ones that make it.

  12. very fun and entertaining. made my day.

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