Watch Kitty Tax Guano


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Bizarro is brought to you today by One-Stop Shopping For Female Psycho Killers.

My girlfriend, Olive Oyl, and I are going to a “half-Halloween” party in a week. That’s where you pick a weekend about in the middle between two Halloweens, and a group of you show up at a designated bar or whatever, wearing costumes. It’s based on the theory that Halloween is too much fun to only have once a year.


So O.O. and I are trying to figure out what to dress as. I was trying to think of a costume that works with my ridiculous mustache, so I suggested I be a cowboy and she be a cow, and I lead her around with a lasso. She didn’t go for it. Then I suggested I be Salvador Dali and she be my nude model. Again, no go. We considered going as Olive Oyl and Popeye, but that’s not much fun since that’s pretty much how we dress all of the time anyway.


I would appreciate any ideas any of you Jazz Pickles have. It needs to be a simpler costume than one might wear on actual Halloween––no big makeup requirements, etc.


If we come up with something fun, I’ll post a picture after it’s over. If we come up with something lame, I’ll deny any knowledge of the event and have all photos destroyed by the NSA. (Yes, they have that power, and “I know a guy”.)
















BIZARROLD: Like the Spider-man cartoon above, this cartoon from ’99 is about the untold aspects of a super hero’s private 02-16-99 Guano WEB


55 thoughts on “Watch Kitty Tax Guano

  1. So it was about 1989 or so and my friend David was dressed in a black turtleneck shirt, black jeans, some eyeliner, black cord jacket…. big silver amulet thing around his neck. He’s mulato so he had short curly hair, but was pale.

    He usually dressed like that back then.

    Anyway, he gets dragged to a halloween party one night dressed like this (it was several nights before halloween so he was not in costume).

    The party was mostly 16-19 year olds and he is already 21.

    “Cool costume.” a girl says. “Who’re you supposed to be?”

    Off the top of his head, David says “Roman Polanski”.

    The girl blinks, not knowing.

  2. Since the movie, Noah, has come out and has gotten some attention, perhaps you could dress as Noah and/or some other biblical characters. It’d be funny to bring a pet dinosaur with you.

  3. Hey Dan,

    Yesterday’s opening link was very relevant to me. When I saw it, I had to post it on my FB with the following:

    Trying alt-milk for the first time; it’s Silk’s AlmondMilk, … and it’s edible with Post Honey Bunches of Oats. Further testing needed to determine how okay this thing is. Any recommendations for testing parameters &/or products? I think I’ll try it in coffee next. I think I’ll skip trying AlmondMilk with this (picture)… they sometimes taste funny with off notes of garlicky BO.

    : P


    BTW, I must be getting old & forgetful. You’ll probly tear me a new one with this question: Is Olive Oyl the same person as your girlfriend from sometime ago whom you called Klesmerelda? (Sorry, I think the spelling’s off.)

    I think you have a thing for the letter K, hence the secret symbol “K2” for your daughters. Will there be a new secret symbol, “O2”?

    • That occurred to us but a small group of the people we’re meeting did elaborate costumes of characters from Peter Pan last Halloween.

  4. My hubster and I Halloween’d one year as an organ grinder *he, Italian, refusing to shave for a costume* and me, the monkey.

    Made his ‘organ’ from a cardboard box with an AM radio inside playing Mariachi music; we had matching vests and my little hat matched my vest.

    Best costume winner and most fun EVER!

    Good luck, cheers… Soozie

  5. Halloween costume idea – you could be the mustached villain Snidley Whiplash and Olive could either be Nell Fenwick or Dudley.

  6. Bat guano IS good fertilizer.

    My uncle knew a guy who lived in the American southwest and years ago discovered a cave on his land that had been home to hundreds of generations of bats. The floor of the cave was covered with several feet of bat guano.

    He found the stuff was an incredible fertilizer, and did some prep work to start selling bags of the stuff – but it turned out it was against the law. The droppings of wild animals – bats in particular – are apparently considered a health hazard.

  7. I love this comic strip, but I’m having trouble finding the ones from Feb of 2014 and March in both of the entire months collection. Help

  8. Some very good suggestions for costumes to go with the mustache.

    All I’ve got that hasn’t been mentioned already is Rollie Fingers. Not sure for the girlfriend – peanut vendor, fan, another Rollie Fingers from one of his other teams.

  9. Perhaps you could go as Jack Frost and you could wrap O.O. in plastic wrap and she could be an icicle…

    Yeah, probably a non-starter too. Sorry, that’s all I got.


    The night watch made me LOL… Thanks.

  10. I feel bad, by the way, about being so offhand about the Olive side of the equation, but she’s an unknown quantity to me. Sorry, Olive…

  11. Adam & Eve with “strategically-placed” fig leaves — or not. And one of you, probably Eve, needs to be carrying a snake.

    Daughter was Eve in the third grade for Carnival, the western European equivalent of Hallowe’en when it comes to doing costumes. She went to a Rudolf Steiner school and the Carnival theme for her class was Old Testament Biblical figures (year before was fairy tales, year after, Greek mythology*. Those Steiners like to mix it up!). She wore a pink leotard & tights, a crown of (fake) roses & a few felt “fig” leaves and carried a big chartreuse stuffed snake from IKEA. Poor kid almost froze since Carnival is end of February, beginning of March and the temperatures were below zero Celsius.

    *Kid must have a thing about snakes. In fourth grade she was Medusa with her hair in many braids, wire running through each & coiled around her head…

  12. I think she should go as you ( a little glue on facial hair and borrow some of your clothing and a hat). Then you can spend the whole night telling everyone that you came alone and if they see 2 of you then they are too drunk and should spend the rest of the evening buying you drinks.

  13. Dan…sorry to interrupt your half Halloween…i hate dressing up on the real Halloween, let alone again…but can you just clarify the strip on 4-10…is the issue is he looking at a sundial and there is no sun out? Otherwise don’t really get it…have a great Easter today…

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