Security Invasion


Bizarro 06-22-14 hdrWEb Bizarro 06-22-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Brief Survey.

If you’re not accustomed to going through security at American airports, you may miss some of this gag. The wording these guys say over and over, all day long is, “Completely empty the contents of your pockets and take off your shoes.” (Which you are supposed to put in a tray.) Yes, we Americans still have to take off our shoes and run them through the X-ray machine because years ago, some mentally disturbed lunatic tried to ignite a bomb he had hidden in his shoe. Thank god he didn’t hide it in his underwear. So, while thinking of what a security check might look like on an alien planet, I came up with this gag. Theoretical physicists would back me up that this could potentially be happening on another planet, or a parallel universe. So there.

I must admit that I think the TSA is an enormous waste of money and resources. Studies have shown that it is just as easy as it ever was to sneak weapons onto a commercial airline, so all they are really doing is inconveniencing honest people and costing the government billions. I call it “theater of security,” and believe it mostly exists to convince Americans that it is safe to travel by air. Which, statistically, it is, with or without the TSA.

DEJA VIEW: From 1998 I bring you this idea about aliens. You likely can’t see it at this resolution, but each pea has a little eyeball and two antennae. So cute! (Click the owl for a larger view.) I particularly like this couple’s quirky sense of decorating. Note also that because the aliens are from another planet, they speak with a different font than humans.Bizarro 07-05-98 PeasWEb


33 thoughts on “Security Invasion

  1. With regards to the Classic Bizarro: Chemi-Cola is a Tanzanian brand.

    I kid you not. I have drunk it.

  2. “We come in peas” — you even got the butterfly dress on the lady, which Yahoo assures us is now a “thing.” O guru, I don’t suppose you have seven good numbers for the next Lotto drawing? (sez I hopefully)

  3. I couldn’t decide which eyes to count or not count in today’s strip…but I figured it out. And I got the joke even though I haven’t flown (not intentionally…just haven’t gone anywhere where a car or a train wasn’t the better option) since before 9-11 (I pay attention).

    On the Deja View: does that peas font have a name? Also, the only Squeeky I’m familiar with was my prize-winning hamster (1st place for largest *and* 4th for smallest in the 1968 Kiwanis Club-sponsored pet show for North San Diego County!).

    • No name for the font yet. I invented it back in the 90s and used it a bunch of times for aliens but haven’t used it since. I’m open to suggestions.

  4. I recall a science fiction story along the lines of your ‘Come in peas’ joke. It’s been years so my memory is a bit hazy. People on the ground were speaking to a spaceship about to land. The folks on the ground couldn’t see the ship even though the ship claimed to be close. Turns out the ship was really small and landed in the mustard on somebody’s hot dog. As I recall, it didn’t go well for the people in the ship…

    As always, great comics!

  5. “Theater of security” is all it is in a lot of places, I suspect. I know it was at IBM when I worked there–a lot of show, but easily bypassed.

  6. The most common term is “security theater”, coined in the 2003 book “Beyond Fear: Thinking Sensibly About Security in an Uncertain World” by Bruce Schneier.

  7. Observing the U.S. today is pretty much like observing the decline and fall of the Roman Empire all over again. It’s hilarious and sad and frightening all at the same time. Perhaps it’s inevitable too. But once the Chinese start bombing and invading everyone who has oil or other resources, we’ll all miss you bunch of World Police… :-)

  8. Just want to say how much I enjoy your cartoons. I’m a high school art teacher and have always enjoyed the Sunday Funnies, as we called them back in the Chicago area. I’ve saved some of yours, like the one from 2/24/13 about “Escher’s Gulch” to add to my collection that I call Artoons.

    I also am addicted to puns, and in case you’re still creating them, my submission is a Flutterby. I don’t remember if that’s my idea, from my kids when they were little and mispronouncing words, or ??? I’m now 71 and have been accused of forgetting a lot of stuff.

    Carol Klett

    San Diego CA

    • Glad you’re enjoying my work so much, Carol! I’ve been told that “flutterby” may have been the original name for the flying insects we call butterflies. Makes sense, since the insects in question have nothing to do with butter. :^}

  9. As usual, brilliant on details. Love the tiny turtle with hat, the man’s”T-Shirt” and of course, those Mini Martian Jumping Peas. (The peasant couple, –salt and pepper–, she, with her turned up nose and folded hands, priceless as they say in the commercial…the Chihuahua frantic eyes, no bad either…Thanks so much, its delightful)…

  10. On a recent trip, I was walking up to a particularly long and sullen looking security line at LAX. Then, by some miracle, I was directed to the expedited screening line instead. We were directed NOT to take off our shoes, NOT to remove our laptops, and to please keep our liquids in our bags. It was amazing, quick, and felt like an in-group/out-group social experiment as we endured the sad and envious stares of the people in the regular line, in many cases asking why they couldn’t join us.

    It seems to me that randomly assigning people to the expedited line is tacit acknowledgement that standard security is unnecessary to keep people safe.

    • I had that happen to me once, too. I was offended that they apparently thought I looked too harmless to be of concern.

  11. For a minute I thought we were finally getting a glimpse of the Secret Symbol Alien’s (SSA) home world. But despite the similarity, it must be a different race. Compared to the large aliens, the SSA has antennae, but no visible ears, and he is very tiny compared to the travelers and security beings. Will we ever see the SSA’s home world? Have we already?

    • I’ve featured the Bizarro Alien as a character in cartoons before but I don’t think he was ever on his home planet. I’ll see if something occurs to me.

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