Jobs Imposter Indians Indians


bz panel 07-14-14bz strip 07-14-14bz panel 07-15-14bz strip 07-15-14bz panel 07-16-14bz strip 07-16-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Immigration Ego Battles.

This first cartoon was inspired by the fact that I’ve got a couple of very smart, hardworking, talented, adult daughters who found it very difficult to find meaningful work when they graduated college. Of course, their degrees in 16th century transportation innovations of the Berbers, and Poetry of the Malagasy Republic may have something to do with it, but still. You’d think someone would want to hire these amazing young women that I personally groomed to be valuable contributors to the planet. Even so, I’m happy to report that both are living indoors and eating daily and that neither has ever worked for life-destroying corporations like McDonalds.









In our Cap’n Crunch vs. The Bus Driver cartoon, my buddy Andy and I muse about an alternative meaning to the “Not in Service” sign on the front of off-duty buses.













When I was a kid I often wondered how two peoples from different parts of the world were both called “Indians.” There was no Internet when I was a child, neither of my parents spoke English and we lived in a remote cabin in Siberia, so there was no way for me to find out until much later. Here now, all these years later, is a cartoon about it. (Yes, I know that “Indian” is not the moniker of choice for living descendants of those people who first inhabited the Western Hemisphere, but that’s not what this cartoon is about anyway, so keep your sanctimony for another time.)







BIZOMBIES: Here’s another take from 2004 on the Indian vs. Indian debate. I like this one a lot and it remains one of my favorite cartoons of mine ten years later. I hope it brings some small corner of your brain some momentary pleasure. (For a larger view, click the elephant’s butt.)Bizarro RealIndian 03-28-04WEB


33 thoughts on “Jobs Imposter Indians Indians

  1. Just a note: I’ve been following David Suzuki’s Facebook page. I noticed that the Canadian “indians” call themselves the First Nations. I think that’s quite appropriate.

    • Oops. Also must mention: Congratulations to you for producing two lovely young ladies who’ve graduated college and are employed. My son spent 3 more years to get a Masters in chemical engineering and then decided that it wasn’t for him (yikes). However, he does have an interview for a real job that will utilize what he’s learned and what he really wants to do (coding). whew. Hope that goes well. My daughter studied art and has yet to formalize this with a degree or a job. She wants to design characters for computer games (double yikes). As parents, we just want our children to be self-supporting and happy.

      • Thanks and good luck with your kids. As I often tell younger folks thinking of reproducing, kids are not a hobby, they are a career. And a demanding one. :^}

  2. After lifting his ear from the ground Tonto said to The Lone Range: “Buffalo come.” The Lone Ranger asks:

    “Why, did you hear hoofbeats?” Tonto replies: “No, ear sticky.”

  3. I still maintain that the church sign in “Immigration Ego Battles” was meant to read “no excRetions”…

  4. According to the late Russell Means (there are quite a few who disagree with this), that Columbus knew perfectly well that he was not in India, which Europeans called “Hindustan” at the time, but he named the people “Indians” from the Latin “In Dios” or “people of God.” I like that definition better myself.

    • Considering the horrifying way he treated the locals, I find that story unlikely as well. Unless he was in the habit of exterminating “people of God” for profit. :^}

  5. Sometimes when someone says something about an Indian or Indians, I ask (quite unpolitically correct), “Dots or Feathers?”

    And wasn’t this all Christopher Columbus’ fault? As I recall, he thought that he had reached India.

      • If memory serves, he even once had some of his men hanged when they expressed doubts about having reached India. Not quite as enlightened as the captain of the starship Enterprise, this Columbus guy…

        • He was unmitigated scum and I’m not kidding. Columbus is one of the worst characters in history and yet we venerate him like a hero. He was despicable.

    • Columbus did think he had reached India when he saw land, and that is the common explanation of the etymology, but a quick Google search turns up uncertainty as to whether it’s actually true.

      • Yeah, I wondered about that. Most of what we were taught in school about Columbus is false. He was a despicable creature. Seriously.

        • Yeah, why do we still celebrate Columbus Day? The Native Americans founded it thousands of years ago, Leif Ericson founded it around 1000 A.D., the Chinese might have founded it in 1421, the Croatians might have founded it in 1449, and there was an Irish monk who also founded it! “Founders Day” would have a better food spread.

  6. So offensive. You do know that “Indian” is not the moniker of choice for living descendants of those people who first inhabited the Western Hemisphere, right?!

  7. Dan, these Indians got me to thinking about the Washington, DC, football team. Perhaps you could draw a group of very embarrassed people, thus having red skins, heading out onto the field. Just a thought.

    • Interesting idea, Ed. I have mixed emotions about that name controversy issue. I haven’t followed the story because I boycott pretty much all news to protect the innocent (me) but I’m familiar with the issue.

  8. How’d we wind up with a mid-west but no west – west or eastern-west? And there’s a middle east that’s far away and we didn’t get one of those, and there’s no eastern east or western east. I’m confused and I’ve got a 39 year old kid back on the teet.

  9. The corner of my brain has a big, gap-toothed smile! (And the retinal areas are delighted with the lovely desert composition.) Thanks for the fun!

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