Driven

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(Get into the whole embiggenation thing by clicking on the headlight of the red car.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Actual Fortune Tellers.

I’ve taken Uber or Lyft a few dozen times and with one exception, have always had a positive experience. The exception was in LA and the guy driving our car seemed friendly enough to Olive Oyl and me but was prone to honking at other drivers, cussing them out under his breath, and weaving through traffic to cut people off that he thought had offended him. His driving was such a stereotypical example of road rage that it seemed like a scene from a sit-com, but scary. (I once watched 8 minutes of an episode of Two and a Half Men and found it equally scary, but in a different way. Getting Charlie Sheen as your Uber driver would perhaps be a perfect storm. )
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Hot Crackers

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(Embiggenation is within your reach with a simple click on the parrot’s cloaca.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Maybe If Your Business Is Pimping.

Olive Oyl and I are not big enough fans of technology to want one of those thingamajigs––whatever you call them––in our house, but we do like to appear to our friends to be “hip” and up-to-date, so I spray painted a tomato juice can black and put it on our coffee table. When our friends come over, I just casually say, “Alexa, take a nap for a few hours and don’t bother us while our visitors are here unless it’s an emergency.” So far no one is the wiser.
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A Mile In My Shoes

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(Make the below cartoon more embiggened by clicking the red helmet.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Striking Resemblances.

Remember when you were young and in a band and going to loud concerts and you ignored the advice of adults who warned you about protecting your hearing?  Well, as clueless and uncool as those decrepit geezers seemed, either they were correct or they cruelly cast a voodoo spell on you as punishment for ignoring their advice, and you can now only hear about 85% of the syllables people aim at you. Or at least, that’s what happened to me. It is for this reason that I stay away from skydiving and other activities during which a misunderstanding could result in my death.
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Smell Test

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(Make an embiggenated version by clicking any Egyptian hieroglyph.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Strangers in Disguises.

Regular readers of my Bizarro blog are familiar with a guy whom I call “Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay.” Wordplay and puns are the easiest and most common kind of humor and cartoonists have varying degrees of tolerance for the category. Some will use any pun, no matter how predictable or lame, some, as a matter of principle, won’t use any pun, no matter how fresh. For me, it’s all about surprise; if a pun or a bit of wordplay surprises me and I chuckle, I’ll use it. This one made me chuckle a lot when Cliff suggested it and it still does.
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Trimmings

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(Be ye desirous of embiggenation, clicketh upon yon psychos henceforth.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Awkward First Dates.

I confess I’ve not actually seen the movie I referenced in this cartoon. I’ve long been fascinated by the imagery but haven’t the foggiest idea how a guy with 12 lbs. of blades growing out of his hands is explained in the movie. Since my joke is mostly just a satire of his name, it probably doesn’t matter if you’ve seen it or not.
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