My beloved Olive Oyl and I were discussing the current terrorism/refugee crisis and it occurred to us that what we really need right now is an alien invasion to unite the people of Earth against a common foe. Of course, substituting one set of problems for another isn’t a very good solution, but it would be nice (for once) to see people realizing that there are bigger issues in the universe than whether or not everyone else is praying to the same imaginary magic person in the sky as they are. (more…)
I watched a lot of episodes of “Lassie” when I was a kid and they were all pretty much like this: Lassie and the boy are wandering around killing time, the boy gets in trouble (trapped somewhere), Lassie runs back to the adults and barks at them, they follow him to the boy and save him. It was dull by modern TV standards and I can’t say that I watched it for entertainment as much as for the comfort that comes from predictability. Like the reason people used to be hooked on the comic strip “Nancy” when still drawn by Bushmiller. You knew it would be a shamelessly corny joke every day and you were never wrong. There’s something comforting about that. (more…)
Most of the cartoons I do are meant simply to give the reader a smile or chuckle, but every now and then I like to do one that teaches a little-known historical fact. This is one such cartoon. I got this information from Republican presidential front-runner Ben Carson’s book, “Lightening Bolts of Knowledge from My Genius Brain”. I also learned from that book that the pyramids in ancient Egypt were used as grain silos and that the four classical elements of the ancient world were water, fire, unicorns, and pinecones. He learned these things in brain surgery school so they must be true. (more…)
When I lived in NYC I used to occasionally enjoy watching people playing with miniature boats in the big pond in Central Park. May I assume you will not be surprised to discover that it was the inspiration for this cartoon? I’m glad that a hurricane hasn’t hit somewhere this week and killed tons of people, otherwise folks would be all up in my grill about making fun of tragedy too soon, not realizing I submitted this cartoon for publication weeks ago. Here are a few fun things in the background of this pic that you might not be able to see even in the embiggenated view: The white sign just right of center says, “Zoo, Pool, Thugs, Vermin”: The food cart in the far background on the left is selling “Fried Vermin”: On the park bench in the center is a woman with a bird head: The pigeon in the right foreground corner is standing on my signature. Other than that, there are also 10 “secret symbols,” as the small number above my signature implies. If you’re not aware of the secret symbols, check out this link here, but keep it to yourself or they won’t be secret anymore. (more…)
There have been a few “Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe” cartoons over the span of my 87 year career as a cartoonist and this is arguably one of them. Here is another one that is built on the same premise but leaves less to the imagination. (more…)
Most comedy clubs have amateur nights of some sort––which they now usually call “Open Mic Night”–– but in this case, even the audience is full of amateurs. More advanced comics readers will also notice that even the spotlight isn’t sure what its job is. I’ve done a fair amount of stand-up comedy in my day and I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever been curious about it; making a roomful of strangers laugh is even easier than it looks and not scary at all. Unless you have any fear of standing under a bright light in public and experiencing the deafening silence of complete and utter rejection. (more…)
My crazy-ass creative daughters have just opened an online store that I’d like you to check out. They’re always making amazing costumes and such and decided to start selling their handmade headdresses online. High quality, beautiful, bold, terrific stuff if you’re the right kind of gal or drag queen. Go check their stuff out now and make a daddy proud! (more…)
(If you want some biggerized comedy to gander, click the color blue on any image.)Bizarro is brought to you today by Thrifty Knitters.
Since I moved to LA a few years ago, I have become acutely aware of the fact that I am not nearly rich or good looking enough. Every community has its own vibe; Portland is about being hip and chill, New York City is about wearing black and basing your innate sense of superiority on your geographical location, and LA is about looking super hot in your Lamborghini as you sit in traffic for an hour on your way to a grocery store that is only one mile away. There are other vibes in LA, too, and millions of really good people, but it takes a concerted effort not to allow yourself to feel “less than” in your cheap, compact car and your average face and body. I’m just saying that if someone opened a funhouse mirror place that made everyone look like a movie star, it would be packed. (more…)
Hi, Jazz Pickles. Here’s a link to a video that was shot of one of my comedy shows back in the 00s. I can’t remember the year. It happened at the Blue Metropolis Literary Festival in Montreal.
I’m happy to hire out to do my show someplace near you if you’re into it. I’ll perform at corporate functions, conferences, festivals, public libraries, you name it. For inquiries about the show’s content and what it costs to bring me, email us at BizarroPie@gmail.com (more…)