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Fear of Farm Girls

Bizarro 05-17-15 hdrWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Alex Trebek Sighting.

I made a mistake in today’s Sunday comic and I didn’t catch it until it was too late to stop it from getting into print. I’ve posted the corrected version here but the inferior one is in papers all over the world today. In the version with the screw-up, the caption reads, “Farm Bizarro 05-17-15 WEBgirls, scarecrows and tin men, oh my!” I guess I was writing it correctly, instead of mimicking the way the similar line was said in the film, with the extra “and” between “farm girls” and “scarecrows”. Arrrrggghh. I know it’s no big deal but it bugs me and I wish I’d caught it sooner. On the bright side, there are still seven secret symbols to look for, which you can find more easily by clicking the image and making it larger.

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Let’s review the rest of the cartoons from the past seven days, shall we? (I’ll take your silence as a yes.)

Monday: I once did a cartoon about a guy playing checkers with a dog, I think, so here’s someone playing Scrabble with a cat. Most of the cats I’ve lived with seem to enjoy sitting on whatever I’m working on: artwork, keyboard, sandwiches, you name it.

Tuesday: I used to see commercials on TV all the time for the Hair Club for Men but I haven’t in a while so I hope it’s still a thing people remember. I don’t watch TV commercials at all, really, so I’ve no idea if these guys still advertise. They have a website, of course, but so does everyone and everything that has ever existed since the Big Bang.

Wednesday: Olive Oyl and I moved to a neighborhood recently that has a lot of big parrots screaming through the skies. I’ve seen the small parakeet-sized ones in American cities before but these are larger and look like the ones in this cartoon. They’re descended from escaped victims of the pet industry, of course, so that’s why they inspired this cartoon.

Thursday: Yes, I know almost no one uses a telephone with a cord and receiver like the one in this picture anymore, but I couldn’t do the gag without the old-fashioned phone so let’s just pretend these guys are “retro”.

Friday: I came up with this gag because I get stopped in public often by people who think I’m Bradedict Cumberpitt (a combo of Benedict Cumberbatch and Brad Pitt.)  But seriously folks, I was actually asked about a week ago if I was Les Claypool. I knew he was a musical type affiliated with a band called Primus but I had no idea what he looked like so I Googled him just now and was quite surprised by the resemblance. Since I’ve grown a beard, I not only look a lot like him, we dress very much alike, too. I hope no one thinks I’m a fanboy. Ugh.

Saturday: I like this gag about the wildebeest. Wildebeests are one of those rare things whose name is easy to imagine the roots of. European explorer from ages ago on his first trip to Africa: “What are those wild beasts?” Other guy with him: “No idea. You get to name them.” First guy: “Let’s call them Wildebeests.” Second guy: “Okay, but I get to name those things over there and I’m not going to call them ‘Stripy Horses’.”

SPECIAL OFFER: I’m about to publicly launch a new store on this site (in a few days) but it’s already live and you can shop there now. Here’s the deal: by the time I announce the new store (midweek?) I’ll have raised my prices on Original Cartoon Art from Bizarro (cartoons from the syndicated Bizarro feature) and on the Hand-Drawn Sketch Cards.  To reward you for reading all the way to the end of this post, you can grab something at the current price before it goes up. Click on the “Store” link at the top of this page to find out what’s being offered and for how much. By Wednesday, the prices listed now will change. Everything in both of those categories is one-of-a-kind, original, hand-drawn art from my lap to yours.

Crime Giggles

Bizarro 05-10-15 hdrWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Mother’s Day Hat.

My big Sunday Comics gag today is okay, I guess, but for my money there’s just as much fun to be had in the small background gags. There are also 10 Secret Symbols to search for. If you’re not sure you know what all of my Secret Symbols are, click here.  If you click the cartoon (and this damn blog is working properly) you’ll get an enlarged view for better examination. I hope it pleases you.

Let’s talk now about my cartoons of the past week. bz panel 05-04-15 bz panel 05-05-15 bz panel 05-06-15 bz panel 05-07-15 bz panel 05-08-15 bz panel 05-09-15

Monday’s child is full of twerk: To someone my age, mid-fifties, this thing the youngsters call “twerking” is the opposite of sexy. In fact, it is hilarious. Like naked-guy-with-a-shiny-tourist-sombrero-and-black-socks hilariously unsexy. No matter how young you are right now, if you live long enough a younger generation will adopt some kind of fashion or activity that you will think is hilariously stupid, but they’ll think is cool. It’s just a law of physics. To get a jumpstart on dealing with it, do this simple exercise now––imagine the stupidest, most embarrassing fashion or activity that you can, one that you would rather die than be caught in public wearing or doing. THAT is what will be in style when you’re older.

Tuesday’s child is worth a smirk: I found out not long ago that “service animals” are not just used for obvious things like guiding the blind, but also for people who have severe anxiety issues and find that an animal calms them. I immediately wondered what would happen if the animal that calmed that one person made everyone else panic.

Wednesday’s child is in withdrawal: When society collapses and the electrical grid is out and cell phones and computers don’t work, the current generations being raised on constant contact with the entire world will suffer severe withdrawal. Not if, when. It might look something like this.

Thursday’s child had a nasty fall: I guess when I wrote this batch I was thinking a lot about our collective addiction to apps like Twitter and FacadeBook. “Josh” isn’t a specific person, I chose it simply because I wanted a name that is common among a certain age group that might contain members with the type of mindlessness that this character is exhibiting. My favorite part of this cartoon is the look on Descartes’ face.

Friday’s child is losing feathers: What about a parrot who talks more than his human? Is that funny? I thought it kind of was and so did my German penpal, Michael Roth, who suggested the setup.

Saturday’s child is vulnerable to the weather: In line with the philosophical subject matter of Thursday’s cartoon, I raise the question of how well a person who needs to hide actually wants to hide. No particular reason. I didn’t do anything recently that would land me in a witness protection program. Seriously, I’ve just been minding my own business and not bothering anyone.

That’s it for today. Later this coming week I’ll likely be making a dandy announcement about some new stuff so come back with your eyes in a few days and have a gander.

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Yuck It Up!

Bizarro 05-03-15 hdrWEb(For a bigger-looking cartoon, click it!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Millennial Confusion.

If you’ve ever been to the taping of a TV show, you know that those with live audiences are driven like slaves building the pyramids to laugh and applaud and hoot and holler and gasp Bizarro 05-03-15 WEBand whistle as though they’re having the times of their lives. The less funny the show is, the harder the audience wrangler has to work. It’s just one more aspect of TV that isn’t what it seems, like the scripting and multiple takes on “reality” TV shows. While I think this is notable and funny, I don’t actually think it is wrong. TV shows of this sort are theater, and by definition, aren’t meant to be real.

To be upset that the laughs on a sitcom are added electronically or the arguments on Real Housewives of New Jersey are scripted is like being upset that Scarlet Johansson isn’t really a martial artist. What is upsetting, however, is when shows portraying themselves as journalism are finagled for the sake of ratings. That happens a lot, too.

Going back in time (not really, cartoons are a kind of drama, too) let’s review last week’s gags…

bz panel 04-27-15Monday: Town criers used to play the same role as a newspaper so this one is adding a crossword puzzle to his format. I resisted having him describe a Garfield cartoon.

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday: You bz panel 04-28-15may not get this gag if you’ve never heard the expression, “I’ll dance on your grave,” which is used in an effort to express to someone how much you dislike them. I’ve never actually said this but I’ve thought it bz panel 04-29-15a few times.

 

 

 

Wednesday: I’ve often looked at thrones in museums and wondered how anyone could comfortably sit in one of those things for five minutes, much less for as long as it takes to declare war on a neighboring kingdom or hear a peasant’s request for justice. Today’s thrones are much more user friendly.

 

bz panel 04-30-15Thursday: This is one of those rare cartoons that was inspired by my own personal experience –– I got an email from a Nigerian prince once and was almost eaten by a cat.

 

 

 

 

 

bz panel 05-01-15Friday: This hasn’t ever happened to me but it is weird when you get to an age where many doctors and all cops are younger than you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

bz panel 05-02-15Saturday: I think a treadmill for a tightrope walker is amusing. I wonder if there’s a stationary machine of some kind for trapeze artists to use.

Here’s another treadmill gag of mine from a while back that I also like.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you’ve signed up to be notified by email when I post on this blog, you must sign up again. The last program crashed and the addresses were lost. The box to sign up again––or for the first time––is in the right margin of this and every post! I’ll never sell or share your email address, so it’s safe. Thanks, Jazz Pickles!

GMO Shuffle

bizarro 04-19-15 hdrWEB
Bizarro 04-19-15 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by The Three Stooges.

A few years ago we had a very long and spirited debate on this blog about the dangers/benefits of GMO crops. People I trust were on both sides of the issue so in the end, I wasn’t sure if I’m for or against them. Like most things, there are likely good and bad elements to the practice

bz panel 04-13-15 bz panel 04-14-15 bz panel 04-15-15 bz panel 04-16-15 bz panel 04-17-15 bz panel 04-18-15and there is definitely a lot of false propaganda about the subject. But this cartoon isn’t about that, it’s just a ludicrous look at a “what if” scenario. If this damn blog site is working properly, you should be able to click the image for a larger view so you can see some of the background elements better.

As for my other cartoons in the past seven days, let’s sally forth…

Monday: The American health care industry is insidious in my opinion. Don’t get me started.

Tuesday: An idea from my good buddy, Cliff The King of Wordplay. This one is so dry you’ll need to reach for a cold beer after reading it, but that’s what I like about it.

Wednesday: I’ve never been to a speed dating event but I’ve heard of them. It’s where lots of single people all get together in a big room with lots of small tables for two and I guess you jump from one person to the next, spending just a few minutes chatting up each person and seeing if you get a spark that you might want to pursue later. I envisioned a “too much information” guy and used a rough version of my own romantic biography for his line.

Thursday: My buddy Rick and I were having lunch one day and the topic of being able to throw a surprise party for a psychic would mean he/she wasn’t a very good psychic. We chuckled, I made a mental note and then later a cartoon.

Friday: My German pen pal and a writer in his own right, Michael Roth, tossed me an idea about a seeing-eye-snowdog and a snowman with no coals for eyes and I fashioned it thusly. It is sort of sweet with a touch of pathos. Heres an old favorite of mine from a few years back on a similar subject. Yes, it is late in the year to feature a snowman cartoon but my feature is called “Bizarro,” not “Normalo.”

Saturday: Just a bit of fun with a famous fictional character whose name is nothing more than a description of her clothing. I used it to make fun of two loooooooong-standing fashion trends that offend my eyes daily. As an artistic type, I find the poor fashion choices of others more distressing than others might.

Sex Preachin’

bizarro 04-05-15 hdrWEb1Bizarro 04-05-15 WEB(Hankerin’ for a bigger look? Click the cartoons.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sex.

All of the cartoons from this week are self explanatory (as a cartoon should be) but I have a few things to say about the last one posted here: two ladies at a sidewalk cafe talking about an old boyfriend. I suggest you read all of these cartoons, then come back here for my commentary.

bz panel 03-31-15 When I submitted the cafe cartoon, my editor warned me that it could cause trouble. It is hard for someone like me to imagine anyone being upset in 2015 by a cartoon like this but at the same time, I know there are people who will. Fortunately, we received no complaints from the editors of any of my client newspapers and bz panel 04-02-15 I consider that a good sign, but I got a few complaints from readers who chided me for including a reference to casual sex outside of marriage in a newspaper comic “where kids could see it.”

Casual sex outside of marriage has been a hallmark of the human race since ancient bz panel 04-03-15 copy times and it always will be. Hiding it from your children won’t change their behavior when the time comes, in fact, it likely make it all the more attractive to them.

Whether we’re trying to control our children’s future sex lives or our own, we are fighting a force that is stronger than us and one way or another, we will lose in the end. Humans are highly sexual mammals bz panel 04-01-15and one of only a very small handful that have sex for reasons other than procreation. Most animals only tolerate sex because they are driven to do it. (We judge this by the ratio of copulatory incidents to conceptions. Most animals have sex around 3 or 4 times per pregnancy, humans do it over a thousand times per.) Humans bz panel 03-30-15actually enjoy it and need it often, one way or another. It’s simple biology and there’s nothing we can do about it no matter what we believe about gods in the sky who look down on us for giving in to our animal nature. In truth, when it comes to sex, we’re giving in to our human nature.

I’m not just talking “out of my ass” here, I actually raised two daughters who had no trouble navigating the waters of sex and dating and became well-adjusted, happily married adults. Here’s how I did it:

From a very early age, before they learned to be ashamed or embarrassed about sex, their mom and I told them everything about sexuality that they were capable of understanding (at a given age), as though it were a scientific fact of nature and an inevitable social force. (Which it is, of course.) Nothing magical or mystical, just the truth. We told them what to expect physically, emotionally, and socially and gave them things they should consider when the time came, and what good and bad things they could expect to experience as a result of becoming sexually active. And we were dead honest. When we would have these talks over the years, chapter by chapter, as they were old enough to understand a new piece of the story, they listened matter-of-factly and said, “Okay.” It was an open topic in our house and both of them knew that the power to make those decisions was in their own hands, not ours. As a result, they had less curiosity about it and waited longer than their peers to experiment. Both were in long-term relationships in college when they did. My point, of course, is that talking to your kids about sex doesn’t have to be mysterious and embarrassing and you don’t have to lie awake at night worried that your child might find out something about sex that might make you lose control over them. Your control over them is an illusion in the first place.

It makes more sense to me to relax about it, stop making it so important and mystical, and just get on with more important aspects of life; like whether your 12-year-old boy is constantly playing violent video games or is becoming a bully. In my opinion, it is literally insane that so few Americans raise an eyebrow over violence on TV and in pop culture, but a reference to sex raises the roof.

 

Belated Blog Day

Bizarro 03-29-15 HdrWEBBizarro is brought to you by What Could Go Wrong?

My blog has been wonky for days which is why I’ve been absent from posting last week’s cartoons but now I’m happy to say it’s feeling better.

Bizarro 03-29-15 WEBYes, that’s me in one of my Hitchcock-inspired cameos (click the image for a larger view) engaging with what is one of my pet peeves: people who consume more resources than necessary in an increasingly fragile environment. You readers outside the U.S. may not realize that American families with one or two kids in a giant, condo-sized SUV is the standard in America. It’s fairly unbelievable how many of these behemoth vehicles there are on the road and equally incredible how few people actually need them. Now, you may be saying, “I need mine –– I have two kids and groceries and strollers and sports equipment, and…” but what you actually mean is “A car the size of a school bus is convenient for dragging lots of crap around all the time but I could do with a small stationwagon or hatchback like everyone else in the rest of the civilized world does, and everyone in America did before SUVs became standard.” Just a friendly, preachy reminder that we’re all in this tiny, sinking boat together and putting your own comfort and convenience ahead of the entire species is maybe not the best way to go.

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As for the rest of the week, we start with Monday’s cartoon about a couple of guys talking about their divorce scenarios. This is a gag that I drew from personal experience since I’m currently still battling my ex-wife in court, after more than 3 1/2 years. You’d be surprised how little the courts care about justice in divorces. If I hadn’t been raised better, I’d have taken hostages over it by now.

bz panel 03-24-15Tuesday’s gag was about a guy with an interesting job. It occurred to me after I drew this character that he looked like a young version of the actor who played “Mike” on Breaking Bad and the same role now on Better Call Saul. Total accident, though.

 

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Wednesday’s gag is about another personal pet peeve of mine in the form of people talking at movie theaters as though they were watching at home. Just another reason why I don’t carry a gun. (And there are many reasons.)

 

 

 

bz panel 03-26-15Thursday’s papers had this cartoon about changing babies. What you change them into depends on your own skill level, but just about anything would be easier and cheaper than raising a human child. I know, I did it twice.

 

 

 

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I really like Friday’s gag about the conjoined twins (formerly called “Siamese twins because the most famous pair of them was from Siam, a country now known as Thailand.) I am known among my friends as one of those annoying “grammar nazis” but I got tagged by a grammar nazi reader of mine who told me a birthday cannot be belated, only the greeting can be. So this should properly have read, “belated happy birthday,” not “happy belated birthday.” Damned grammar nazis.

bz panel 03-28-15Finally, Saturday’s joke is about clever ducks who defeat their enemy with kindness. I came upon this idea when watching an old cowboy movie in which someone was terrorizing someone else with a bullwhip. Whenever I see this I always wonder why the person cowering doesn’t just walk up to the person with the whip and stand next to them. Whips are useless without the distance necessary to use them, which is considerable.

That’s it for now, hope you’re having a Jazz Pickly week, JPs!

 

 

Alt Tarzan

Bizarro 03-22-15 hdrBizarro 03-22-15 WEB(Nobody will mind if you make these cartoons larger by clicking them. Try it. You’ll see.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Horseracing Cheaters.

Last Sunday I published a cartoon with soldiers on a statue of a pigeon (this week’s title panel was constructed from it, in fact!) so this makes it two Sunday’s in a row that I’ve featured a cartoon with a human on a statue. This kind of thing often happens to cartoonists; one idea leads to another idea in the same vein. I like this one about Tarzan being raised in a city park instead of the jungles of Africa. The perspective was fun to draw and it has a few behind-the-scenes aspects that truly dedicated Jazz Pickles might find interesting: The statue’s plaque features a name that is similar to my fiance-in-law who is an award-winning brewmaster, the speaking character looks more-or-less like me a couple decades ago, the name on the back of his jersey refers to my lovely life partner, Olive Oyl, and the 13 is my daughter’s birth date (the one engaged to my fiance-in-law.) Lastly, more observant readers will notice that I tucked Tarzan’s loin cloth beneath him, thus obscuring an unpleasant view. You’re welcome. bz panel 03-16-15 bz panel 03-17-15 bz panel 03-18-15 bz panel 03-19-15bz strip 03-19-15bz panel 03-20-15 bz panel 03-21-15

Earlier this week (or “last” week, if you consider Sunday to be the first day of a new week) I published some other cartoons which you may notice floating in the space to the left of this text. I’m particularly fond of the parents who found their investment in a hidden video system worthwhile, though not for the reason they thought they would.

In this vampire cartoon I chose to draw a Nosferatu style character, though he’s wearing the traditional Hollywood Dracula outfit so he’s a bit of a hybrid. I regret that I made it look like daytime outside the window; that breaks the rules of vampires and was an absent-minded mistake on my part.

This next cartoon was born from my thoughts that living in a community controlled by a neighborhood association would for me be barely one step above prison. I have a lot of trouble with people who need this level of control over others.

I particularly like the bookstore cartoon, but more for the books on the shelves than the main gag. At this resolution you likely won’t be able to read the back of the book the kid is holding so I will tell you it says this: More titles by Seuss PhD, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Mercury, The Cat in the Bathrobe, Horton Steps on the Lorax, Thidwick the Big-Mouthed Moose. The book on the lower right corner of the shelf says, A Kid’s Guide to Propaganda, and the large yellow one on the top shelf is Harry Potter and the Climate Change Deniers. I’ve also included the horizontal format of this gag (which I now only do when it shows something different or interesting that the vertical version does not) has one extra book on the far left called Bizarro Among the Cabbages. I once published a book titled Bizarro Among the Savages, which is long out of print but you can possibly still find one on the Interwebs somewhere.

I have little to say about these last two comics other than that I think they are humorous.

I hope you had a good week, Jazz Pickles, and I wish you a good week to come. Olive Oyl and I are settling in nicely in our new digs and almost everything is unpacked. The house is small and humble but we think we’ve made it look pretty cool and cozy inside.

Pooping in the Park

bizarro 03-15-15 hdr eWEB Bizarro 03-15-15aWEBbz panel 03-09-15 bz panel 03-10-15 bz panel 03-11-15 bz panel 03-12-15 bz panel 03-13-15 bz panel 03-14-15(Make this pigeon statue comic swell like a lip after a knuckle sandwich, by clicking George Washington’s boots.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Super Styles For Super Men.

I conceived of this cartoon back in my first year of syndication in 1985 when I was just a child cartoonist, but the drawing was perfectly awful. (OMG, look how ugly it was!) I’d forgotten all about it until I came across it again recently but I liked the concept so much that I decided to draw and publish it again. I hope you enjoy looking upon it as much as I did redrawing it in a less ugly fashion.

Last Monday’s cartoon was this one about a vending machine called The New York Experience. I lived in NYC for almost ten years and can say that I enjoyed it very much for the first four or five, but then it began to really wear on me. There’s lots to do and tons of terrific history, of course, but the vibe of the city is stuck-up, irritable, and aggressive, the weather sucks big time all but a few weeks out of each year, and the bureaucracy that one encounters with even the simplest of tasks is enough to make you shoot yourself. If your wifi or cable TV is out, be prepared to wait a week or more for a service appointment. If you’re going to the DMV to get your driver’s license switched over, be prepared to wait four or five hours in line. Going to a post office is like visiting prison: bullet-proof glass, surly inmates and sadistic guards. I was happy to leave and honestly don’t care if I ever go back.

Tuesday’s cartoon was also about NYC, but in a less realistic way.

Moving to the West Coast, my Wednesday cartoon highlights the attention many Californians put on invisible forces of the universe. No definitive way to tell how much is real or imagined.

Thursday’s gag takes a shot at politicians and their never-ending scandals. The older I get, the less I trust anyone in a position of power.

Friday’s funny explores one woman’s battle with the power of temptation and a store manager’s gracious attempt to humor her.

And my Saturday cartoon is a wildly reckless foray into the world of politically correct language and is therefore fraught with danger. These days, a single slip of the tongue or ill-conceived email can ruin a person’s career. Polite language has a place in society but in my opinion, we’ve gone a bit overboard in the U.S.––far too many people are looking to be the victim of hurt feelings and take someone down.

Thanks for reading this far, Jazz Pickles. I hope you’re enjoying your life wherever you are today (even in NYC!)

 

Good Game

Bizarro 03-08-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 03-08-15 WEBbz panel 03-02-15 bz panel 03-03-15 bz panel 03-04-15 bz panel 03-05-15 bz panel 03-06-15 bz panel 03-07-15(For a more festive experience, click any of these cartoons and make it bigger!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Fear of Balls.

IN the comments section of this cartoon on King Features’ site, a couple of readers were debating whether or not I was a sports fan. I’m one of those rare Bohemian, artistic types who is. I follow football and hockey pretty closely and as a kid played pretty much any sport my school or community offered: football, baseball, basketball, track, soccer, tennis. I gave most of it up in high school because I was too small to be given a decent chance by short-sighted coaches and also because I began to be acutely aware of the social differences between  creative types and jock types. But I still enjoy sports and physical activity of most kinds. (Except for those featured in the “Jackass” movies.) What I don’t enjoy (and never have) are interviews with players and coaches––as dull and predictable as political debates.

Monday’s cartoon about the pimped-out puppy is a reference to the Superbowl commercial from Budweiser. (I think.)

Tuesday’s cartoon is about something I don’t consider as much of a sport as a game. I find it too dull to watch. I’d watch full-contact golf, though.

Wednesday’s cartoon is about the baldness trend. Even before my hairline began receding I was happy to see shaved heads become fashionable. As a kid, I thought Telly Savalas and Yul Brynner were cool. Plus, to my eyes, anything looks better than thin, see-through hair, or, GOD FORBID, the comb-over.

I’m proud of my party store cartoon from Thursday and a little surprised my client papers didn’t object to it. You’d be surprised how puritanical some newspaper editors can be about the funny pages. But they are getting better; ten years ago I’d likely not have gotten away with this gag.

Friday’s Starbucks cartoon is my favorite of the week, I think. To me, it says a lot.

Saturday’s gag makes me smile, too. I love the idea of a guy who frames every dollar he ever makes. That’s why his office is so spare, in fact.

 

BIZARRCHIVES: I’ve not posted an old comic from the archival dungeon lately, so here’s one about golf that I hope you enjoy.bizarro 04-12-09 WEB

 

 

Tower of Titters

Bizarro 02-22-15 hdr Bizarro 02-22-15 WEB1(Indulge your desire to embiggenate these cartoons by clicking them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Scaring a Child to Death.

It’s Oscar night tonight and this cartoon satirizes the Academy’s habit of showing a short video of the showbiz people who have died since the last Oscar ceremony. But I used an alternate meaning of the word “lost” and applied it to a famous fictional character who is perennially just that. That’s it. No secret meanings or messages. (I got asked if this was in reference to the Charlie Hebdo event.)

bz panel 02-16-15 bz panel 02-17-15 bz panel 02-18-15 bz panel 02-19-15 bz panel 02-20-15 bz panel 02-21-15My other most recent cartoons looked like this:

The rocket-crash cartoon was inspired by Planet of the Apes, of course, and is meant to be a couple of futuristic space travelers commenting on what an abysmal job we humans have done of “ruling” the earth. On King Feature’s web site, the comments below this cartoon devolved into a discussion of religion, evolution, and racism. (The most offensive racist comment has since been deleted by King Features) I’ll be honest, the tendencies of Americans to wallow in this kind of gutter sometimes makes it hard to keep myself from jumping off of something very high. In responding to this unfortunate conversation, I came across a recent Gallup poll that shows that nearly half of all Americans actually believe the mythological account of creation in The Bible over the facts our most intellectually gifted humans have discovered about our planet and it’s inhabitants over many centuries of accumulated knowledge. Nearly HALF. So embarrassing. You can read the comments here if so inclined.

The “well grammar” cartoon got picked up and forwarded a lot by some grammar sites, which was fun. Side note: even the grammar nazi in this cartoon makes a grammatical error (“real” instead of “really”) but I needed to use that tense to make the joke work. Sorry, grammar commandants.

The bird/worm cartoon is just a joke. A few readers thought it might have some literary or historical reference, but no.

My “auto parts” gag is a bit of fun wordplay. I just saw the truly amazing film “Birdman” last night and this cartoon reminds me of it in a way. Not because my cartoon deserves an Oscar (as Michael Keaton most surely does) but because it’s about a surreal theatrical endeavor.

My gag about bird seed is more wordplay as that seems to be the theme of the week. I’ve enjoyed thinking this way since childhood. If carrot seeds grow carrots…

And the duck gag is a dramatization of the ancient children’s riddle. If you were puzzled by this cartoon, it’s likely you just never heard the joke. Sorry about that.

BIZARCHIVYNESS: My Waldo/Oscars gag and it’s different meaning of the word “lost,” has reminded me of an old favorite gag of mine from 2000, shown below. I used the name Van Amerongen as a shout-out to my buddy and fellow cartoonist, Jerry Van Amerongen, creator of “The Neighborhood” and “Ballard Street.” He’s a funny guy and just the sort to pull this kind of stunt.BizarroVanAmerongen07-16-00WEB

 

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