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Game Show

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(If ye seek embiggenation, clicketh any image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Magic.

Today’s cartoon would have been more appropriate around Columbus Day, but given that the United States accidentally elected a reality show host as president and given his attitudes toward non-white people, it seems relevant now, too. I’ve long despised our tradition of honoring Christopher Columbus with a holiday; he was by all accurate accounts a terrible person who neither proved the world was round nor was the first European to discover the Americas (as I was erroneously taught in elementary school in the 1960s), and he murdered more than 100,000 indigenous people for commercial gain.
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Small Domiciles

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(To embiggenate any cartoon, move your screen closer to your face. Or just click the image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Beard Espalier.

The number over my signature in today’s Old West Extravaganza tells us that there are seven Secret Symbols to hunt for and I think I might have even gotten the count correct this time. Lately, there have been a spate of inaccurate symbol counts and I apologize for that. Like I used to tell my 7th grade math teacher, “What’s with your obsession with absolute accuracy all the time? Geez.” 
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Silent Security

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(A most rewarding experience awaits you when you click an image to embiggenate.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by What Exactly Are They Suggesting?!

Today’s cartoon has 8 secret symbols and a handful of background gags that are fun, so you’ll want to embiggenate it. (My favorite background gag is the truck.) The main gag is a bit of a populist joke––to borrow an oft-used term of late––because most people seem to dislike the cliche, public street mime, the sort I’ve depicted here. I’ve long been on record as a person who finds that clowns, mimes, and street performers of all kinds just make me uncomfortable. I go out of my way to avoid and ignore them. My apologies to any readers who are street performers. I don’t mean to disparage your chosen career or hobby, it just doesn’t work for me. Kind of like door-to-door evangelists.
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Descent of Man

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(Any cartoon may be embiggenated by clicking any shadow in that image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Patterns.

Wow, what a week, Jazz Pickles. First, let’s discuss today’s Sunday cartoon, shown above. As a residence of the Los Angeles area for the past five years, traffic is always on my mind. This is a place with too many cars, which is why my beloved Olive Oyl (O2) and I ride motorcycles whenever we can. California is the only state where it is legal to ride between lanes and in LA traffic, it is often the only way to get home from the grocery store before tomorrow.
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Pet Shop Shenanigans

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(Colonel Firmstool, the Bizarro mascot dog shown above, wishes to remind you that a simple click to the hindquarters of any character in these cartoons will result in embiggenation.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Beauty and Grace of Synchronized Diving.

You’re going to want to embiggenate today’s pet shop cartoon because it has 8 secret symbols and six or seven small background jokes that have been specially formulated to curl the edges of your mouth upward.
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Feedbag

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(Click the pictures I have left here for greater embiggenation.)

NOTE: AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST ARE THE DETAILS OF TWO, FREE COMEDY TALKS I’M DOING THIS WEEK IN PASADENA, CALIFORNIA! HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Times.

This is the second cartoon I’ve done recently about large, lumpy surgical masks. (Here is the other.) Sometimes when I’m gag writing I think of a joke that leads to another similar one. If they are different enough, I’ll use them both. A few times in the past, I’ve challenged myself to come up with enough jokes on a particular topic to run an entire week. I did that once in 2002 with dry cleaner gags, shown below. One of my favorite aspects of this series was the signs in each gag about what happens to customers’ clothes left too long. You’ll need to click each one to temporarily embiggenate it so you can read those signs.
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Drive By

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(Make any of these images embiggenated by arching your back and clicking on them.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Sneaking Up On A Glyptodon.

As you likely know, those “street view” images you can find online of just about any address in the civilized world are taken from contraptions attached to the tops of cars that just drive all over the world taking pictures of everything they pass. Some famously funny things have been captured by those pictures and they just lie quietly in wait on the Interwebs until people begin discovering them and spreading the word. There are gobs of pages dedicated to the funniest, strangest, most tragic things captured on Google Street View, which you can find by, of course, googling the topic.
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Fourteen Smiles

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(To enjoy the embiggenation of these images, click on any object with corners.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Odd Body Parts

Because I was out of town last week and did not post my week’s cartoons, this post includes TWO WEEKS OF CARTOONS!

Let us begin with last Sunday’s double-wide comedy cavalcade about a lab scientist doing some kind of experimenty thing that ends up switching his own head with that of a house cat’s. If you’ve ever had this happen, you know how funny (and embarrassing!) this can be. What’s more, the cartoon has 8 secret symbols, so click it, embiggen it, and commence counting.
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Pumping

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(To embiggenate these images, click any character in the solar plexus.)

bizarro-09-18-16-webBizarro is brought to you today by Forgotten Muscle Groups.

This Sunday comic about the family health club membership is worth enlarging, if only to search for the 12 secret symbols. There are 11 official secret symbols (as documented and explained here) but one of them appears in this image twice.
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Gum Delay

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(Click any rectangular object in any cartoon to embiggenate it.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Strange Girl Next Door.

Today’s big Sunday cartoon is about the mixed bag of convenience we get from technology. Historically speaking, each generation witnesses more change than the ones before it. A couple of thousand years ago, a person was lucky to come across a single new invention in their entire lifetime. Five hundred years ago, you might see two or three in a lifetime. A hundred years ago, during the Industrial Revolution, things really heated up and people’s heads were spinning with new inventions coming at them at the alarming speed of one every five years or so. Today, in the time it has taken me to type this paragraph, there have been as many new inventions as there are letters typed. How do I know this? Because of a little invention called lying with authority. I made all these figures up, but I’m guessing they’re more-or-less historically true up to that last one about each letter of this paragraph.
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