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CornHorses

Bizarro 02-07-16 hdrWEB

(Enjoy the delights of embiggenation by clicking any nose within an image.)Bizarro 02-07-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Deep Sea Jazz Pickles.

Today’s big Sunday cartoon is a history lesson wrapped in humor. Two historical facts that one must know to fully appreciate it are these: horses did not occur in the Americas before Europeans brought them, and corn did not occur in Europe until Indians smuggled it in disguised as straight, bumpy bananas wrapped in leafy husks.
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Power of Headwear

Bizarro 12-20-15 hdrWEB

(To begin the enbiggenation process, click any article of footwear.)Bizarro 12-20-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Religious Bizarro Christmas Cartoon.

Since we’re in the midst of another horrifying presidential campaign cycle here in the US, I thought a look back at our history might be in order. It is tempting to think that politics have only recently become more about good advertising than good policy, but I suspect that has always been the case. Most voters don’t have the time, education, or brains to research all angles of our current geopolitical situation and pick the candidate with the best ideas for moving the country forward, so we pick the one we “feel” best about. If Abraham Lincoln had worn the items depicted above instead of a normal beard and a stovepipe hat, he would almost certainly have lost the election and, who knows, human slavery might still be legal in the U.S.  I can think of at least one current candidate for president who might not object to that, and he has something on his head almost as ridiculous as a drainage pipe. Let’s hope that (and his unabashed bigotry) keep him out of the White House.
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Island Fad

Bizarro 12-06-15 hdrWEB

(To begin the embiggenation process, click any cartoon.)

Bizarro 12-06-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Bizarro Nativity Scene 2011.

I have an OCD issue with music. At almost all times when I am awake, a song is playing in my head and it drives me nuts. So drawing this cartoon (and typing this post about it) is a painful experience because I cannot stop that horrible song about the Island of Misfit Toys from playing on a loop. All I have to do is look at this picture and I hear the music. Unfortunately, looking away from the picture does not make it stop. Accordingly, I have no tolerance for any of those Xmas TV specials I grew up with; they haunt me.
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Bark Bark

Bizarro 11-15-15 HdrWEB

(To embiggenate any cartoon, click it or something.)Bizarro 11-15-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Making the Best of a Plumbing Leak.

I watched a lot of episodes of “Lassie” when I was a kid and they were all pretty much like this: Lassie and the boy are wandering around killing time, the boy gets in trouble (trapped somewhere), Lassie runs back to the adults and barks at them, they follow him to the boy and save him. It was dull by modern TV standards and I can’t say that I watched it for entertainment as much as for the comfort that comes from predictability. Like the reason people used to be hooked on the comic strip “Nancy” when still drawn by Bushmiller. You knew it would be a shamelessly corny joke every day and you were never wrong. There’s something comforting about that.
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Moosen Up

bizarro 11-08-15 hdrWEB

(Some have found the embiggenation process gratifying. Try it for yourself by clicking moose # 3)Bizarro 11-08-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Interpretive Math.

Most of the cartoons I do are meant simply to give the reader a smile or chuckle, but every now and then I like to do one that teaches a little-known historical fact. This is one such cartoon. I got this information from Republican presidential front-runner Ben Carson’s book, “Lightening Bolts of Knowledge from My Genius Brain”. I also learned from that book that the pyramids in ancient Egypt were used as grain silos and that the four classical elements of the ancient world were water, fire, unicorns, and pinecones. He learned these things in brain surgery school so they must be true.
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Sinking

Bizarro 11-01-15 hdrWEB

(Wanna see it more embiggenated? Click the cartoon with the pointy hand deal.)Bizarro 11-01-15 clr WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Unusual Things To Do With Children.

When I lived in NYC I used to occasionally enjoy watching people playing with miniature boats in the big pond in Central Park. May I assume you will not be surprised to discover that it was the inspiration for this cartoon? I’m glad that a hurricane hasn’t hit somewhere this week and killed tons of people, otherwise folks would be all up in my grill about making fun of tragedy too soon, not realizing I submitted this cartoon for publication weeks ago. Here are a few fun things in the background of this pic that you might not be able to see even in the embiggenated view: The white sign just right of center says, “Zoo, Pool, Thugs, Vermin”: The food cart in the far background on the left is selling “Fried Vermin”: On the park bench in the center is a woman with a bird head: The pigeon in the right foreground corner is standing on my signature. Other than that, there are also 10 “secret symbols,” as the small number above my signature implies. If you’re not aware of the secret symbols, check out this link here, but keep it to yourself or they won’t be secret anymore.
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Performance Chops

Bizarro 10-18-15 hdrWEB

(Anyone can make these cartoons bigger by clicking on them. Are you anyone?)Bizarro 10-18-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you this week by A Lighthearted Message from the NRA.

Most comedy clubs have amateur nights of some sort––which they now usually call “Open Mic Night”–– but in this case, even the audience is full of amateurs. More advanced comics readers will also notice that even the spotlight isn’t sure what its job is. I’ve done a fair amount of stand-up comedy in my day and I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever been curious about it; making a roomful of strangers laugh is even easier than it looks and not scary at all. Unless you have any fear of standing under a bright light in public and experiencing the deafening silence of complete and utter rejection.
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Sea of Serious

Bizarro 10-04-15 hdrWEB

(And when the illustration of the escaping Israelites was clicked, the Lord embiggenated it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sibling Rivalries of the Bible.
Bizarro 10-04-15 WEBEver wonder what those crazy stories in the Old Testament (or Torah) mean? Neither do I, but they are fun to do cartoons about and since it was supposed to have happened so long ago, very few people will say, “Too soon.” One might also wonder if this cartoon was created to mirror the current refugee crisis in the Middle East and Europe and the answer would be no, not directly. Pretty much any time one does a cartoon about escaping refugees, there’s going to be a group of refugees somewhere in the real world. Sadly, humans have a fairly consistent habit of treating each other horribly and keeping each other on the run.
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Topiary Rat

Strangely, this cartoon T-shirt of mine is back on sale until 8pm Pacific Time tonight. People kept ordering them, so they opened the campaign up again. So cool!

Bizarro 09-20-15 hdrWEB(To experience more largerness, click any bush on the cartoon below.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Terror.Bizarro 09-20-15 WEBHere’s a bit of surreal fun for your Sunday. Not quite as surreal as Donald Trump being a front runner for the Republican nomination, but strange nonetheless. By the way, if you’ve not see the recent New Yorker cover illustration about the election, click this to see it now. I think it is a brilliant concept that perfectly illustrates certain factions of the American electorate. If you don’t quite get the joke, you’re likely not familiar with this photo and what happened in 1948 with major party presidential nominees Harry S Truman and Thomas Dewey. Dewey was well ahead in the polls on election day and a Chicago newspaper had the next day’s headline locked in and printed. But then Truman won. The NYker cover isn’t about the entire story, I think it is simply about the fact that America has become a place where people will vote for blowhard celebrities for president, instead of people who might actually do a good job.
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Moving Experience

Bizarro 09-06-15 hdrWEB

(For a larger viewing experience of the cartoon below so you can find its NINE secret symbols, clickify it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sore Throat Treatments of the Future.

Bizarro 09-06-15 WEBI got this idea because I used to live in a huge apartment building and it seemed there was always someone using the elevators to move in or out. It was like cramming yourself into someone’s tiny living room for a few seconds to get to your floor and it happened so often I began to wonder if they were living in there. Thought it was kind of funny.
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