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Fourteen Smiles


(To enjoy the embiggenation of these images, click on any object with corners.)


Bizarro is brought to you today by Odd Body Parts

Because I was out of town last week and did not post my week’s cartoons, this post includes TWO WEEKS OF CARTOONS!

Let us begin with last Sunday’s double-wide comedy cavalcade about a lab scientist doing some kind of experimenty thing that ends up switching his own head with that of a house cat’s. If you’ve ever had this happen, you know how funny (and embarrassing!) this can be. What’s more, the cartoon has 8 secret symbols, so click it, embiggen it, and commence counting.



(To embiggenate these images, click any character in the solar plexus.)

bizarro-09-18-16-webBizarro is brought to you today by Forgotten Muscle Groups.

This Sunday comic about the family health club membership is worth enlarging, if only to search for the 12 secret symbols. There are 11 official secret symbols (as documented and explained here) but one of them appears in this image twice.

Gum Delay

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(Click any rectangular object in any cartoon to embiggenate it.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Strange Girl Next Door.

Today’s big Sunday cartoon is about the mixed bag of convenience we get from technology. Historically speaking, each generation witnesses more change than the ones before it. A couple of thousand years ago, a person was lucky to come across a single new invention in their entire lifetime. Five hundred years ago, you might see two or three in a lifetime. A hundred years ago, during the Industrial Revolution, things really heated up and people’s heads were spinning with new inventions coming at them at the alarming speed of one every five years or so. Today, in the time it has taken me to type this paragraph, there have been as many new inventions as there are letters typed. How do I know this? Because of a little invention called lying with authority. I made all these figures up, but I’m guessing they’re more-or-less historically true up to that last one about each letter of this paragraph.

Bush Voyeurs

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(Enjoy these cartoons more through the magic of embiggenation. Click any article of clothing within a cartoon to achieve it.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Another Monkey Cartoon.

What happens when a super smart British lady crouches in the bushes for 56 years? We find out a lot about chimps and also ourselves, since we are their closest relatives, that’s what! Some of what she learned is that, like us, chimps sometimes commit random acts of violence against their own kind and that we, like them, if imprisoned in a zoo, sometimes go crazy and throw poop. Yes, I am intentionally writing this paragraph as a sixth-grade C student might write a school report.


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(To find all 13 of the Secret Symbols, you may want to embiggenate the cartoon, which can be achieved by clicking either of the woman’s knees.)Bizarro 06-19-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by An Open Letter To God.

Whether you’re liberal or conservative, you’ve likely noticed we Americans are in the middle of the strangest presidential election since Cookie Monster ran against a talking bullfrog back in the late 19th century. Which, for those of you who have no knowledge of history and will believe anything someone tells you in an authoritative voice, never happened. This strange race taking place in front of us now IS happening, however. I recommend fastening your safety harness, strapping on a helmet, and grabbing a barf bag. This could get messy and dangerous.

Creepy Friends

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(To achieve embiggenation, close your eyes, click your heels together, and click any image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by What We Do Now.

I’ve done a lot of Noah’s Ark cartoons and I think I’ve still got a few left in me. The same reason myths like these endure for centuries among the population is the reason they provide so much fodder for humor. These myths say something important about the human condition as we stumble through life on Earth.

Sky Schooling

Bizarro 05-15-16 HdrWEB(If thee must embiggenate, do so with a click to any man-made object in any cartoon.)Bizarro 05-15-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Unusual Methods.

These days, skywriting is done by computer or some other form of technological voodoo, but in the old days, people flew around and spelled words out in the air mechanically by releasing some puffy white stuff at the appropriate time. Ever since I was a child I’ve wondered how the pilot knew what the thing they were creating looked like from the ground. Today’s big, spectacular, double-wide Sunday cartoon shows how I imagine they might have practiced. (On an interesting side note, when the industry switched to computerized skywriting, the dessert topping industry took a major hit and has yet to recover, as chronicled here.)

Too Many Babies

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(To embiggenate any cartoon, hold down your breakfast and click any yellowish color thrice.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by My Favorite Click Bait of the Week.

If you’re a person who is uncomfortable being honest about sex with your children, this cartoon is an excellent way to teach them about reproduction. It’s a bit more accurate than the old “stork” story, and in a court of law you could argue that it is technically true; babies come from inside the mother. Of course, if you do use this as a teaching tool for your children, prepare to be raising your grandchildren in a few years because their parents are still in middle school.

Stone Cat Guy

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(In the mood for embiggenation? Click any cartoon to begin.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Trombone Secrets.

The mystery of The Great Sphinx is a great mystery. Nobody knows how that giant stone cat with a man’s head got onto that tiny island in the Pacific, or what happened to the people who built it. Were they decimated by disease or famine? Did a rival tribe from another island kill them off? Did they kill each other off in a civil war? And why do they call wars like that “civil”? I don’t think there’s anything civil about killing people. And lastly on the list of mysteries surrounding this big statue is that the kind of stone that The Great Sphinx is carved out of doesn’t even exist on that island! How did it get there?!

Flaming Keyboard

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(Click any image to embiggenate it.)Bizarro 03-13-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Future Clean.

My favorite thing about today’s cartoon (above) is the art, and by that I mean the glow of the fire. I can’t say the joke is all that compelling, to be honest. In the collection of writings that Christians call the Old Testament and Jews call the Torah, god appears to Moses as a burning bush and gives him the famous Ten Commandments. For some reason I thought that if that happened today it would be a burning computer. What bushes have to do with computers is anyone’s guess. I’ve no clue. I’ve nothing more to say about this cartoon other than when you have to write a joke each day for over thirty years, a few are going to be clunkers.

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