The Week in Wackadoodle

bizarro 01-11-15 hdr WEBBizarro 01-11-15 WEBbz panel 01-05-15bz strip 01-05-15bz panel 01-06-15bz strip 01-06-15bz panel 01-07-15bz strip 01-07-15bz panel 01-08-15bz strip 01-08-15bz panel 01-09-15bz strip 01-09-15bz panel 01-10-15bz strip 01-10-15Bizarro is brought to you today by My Favorite Kind of Drum Music.

My big Sunday cartoon today (click it to make it bigger) is about a topic that has been on my mind a bit lately. I ride motorcycles and a bicycle through the streets of Los Angeles and cannot tell you the number of times I’ve almost been mowed down by someone messing with their smartphone while they are supposed to be driving. Seriously, people, is your Facebook status or that text that just came in worth spending time in prison for manslaughter? But, like all dark clouds, there is a silver lining: I never wait in traffic lines anymore when I need to get over into a crowded lane. I just go past the traffic, then slowly and calmly move into the desired lane at the last minute in any one of several huge gaps left by people who are looking at their smartphones instead of moving when it’s their turn. Most of them don’t even notice I’m cutting in line because to do that, they’d have to be paying attention to what can be seen through the windshield of their car.

Also in that Sunday jungle cartoon are no less than ELEVEN secret symbols. So click the image to embiggen it and get started hunting! (If you can’t find them all, here’s the answer code!)

As for the rest of these cartoons, they were what published in newspapers the world over last week. Monday’s is about the current generation’s obsession with recording (by vid or pic) their every mundane activity. Tuesday’s is about America’s obsession with food. Wednesday’s  is about an uppity dog. Thursday’s is about pinatas and their most feared enemy. Friday’s is about a job hunt. Saturday’s is about people who never grow up and their parents who let them.

Any questions? No? Excellent. My work here is done.

Prison Begs Execution Horse’s Ass

Bizarro 01-04-15 hdrWEb Bizarro 01-04-15 WEBbz panel 01-01-15bz strip 01-01-15bz panel 01-02-15bz strip 01-02-15bz panel 01-03-15bz strip 01-03-15(To unsmall any image in this post, click it with your mice device.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Too Late.

According to recent emails and comments, today’s humorous illustration about prison has proved to be pretty popular with people who thought it was funny. This makes me happy, too, so it’s a win/win. The idea for this one came from my good buddy, Cliff Harris The King Of Worldplay, who also makes me happy.

Late last week, the following cartoons were published worldwide on an as-needed basis. The street-corner beggar is a philosophical twist on an old cartoon motif, which isn’t as laugh-out-loud-funny as it is incredibly deep and thought provoking.

The next one, with the guy about to face a firing squad, is also a modern take on an old cartoon motif.I thought that would be clear, but one reader told me that the execution cartoon “goes too far” in light of the recent beheadings by terrorists. Sorry if anyone else thought that’s where I was going with this, it most certainly wasn’t. While I believe that one of the best ways to deal with fear and tragedy is humor, this gag is not funny enough (nor editorial enough) to justify publishing so soon after that kind of event so I wouldn’t have done that. Just for the record.

My last ‘toon in this batch is a funny situation between a centaur and his personal healthcare professional. Getting health insurance (in the U.S., the only “civilized” country that doesn’t offer free health care to all citizens) must be a real pain in the ass for this poor schmuck. My German penpal, Michael Roth, and I kicked around a dozen centaur cartoons before I finally settled on drawing this one. Thanks, Mr. R.

REZARRO: From 2009, I bring you this view of centaurs and other mythological beings. This one still gives me a chuckle, hope it works the same way for you.

bizarro 02-15-09 CentaurWEB

 

Party Drug Snack Group

bz panel 12-31-14bz strip 12-31-14bz panel 12-29-14 bz strip 12-29-14bz panel 12-30-14bz strip 12-30-14Bizarro is brought to you today by My Choice for Album of the Year.

My least favorite night of the year to leave my hut is New Year’s Eve. One might reasonably think this is a sign that I am getting old but I’ve been this way since my twenties. New Year’s Eve is an arbitrary moment in time that has no meaning for me, it’s also noisier, more expensive, and more crowded than most any other night of the year. There are also a lot of drunks on the roads and sober people have enough trouble controlling their cars. Thus, I can find nothing to recommend it.  On the plus side, however, this New Year’s Eve cartoon is kinda funny.

Then there’s this vision of what it might be like if doctor’s offices adopted the practices of airlines. They both overbook, so why not?

And now, here’s a bit of appetizing zombie fun.

 

BIZARRO OF THE LIVING DEAD: Since we’re on the subjects of zombies and the new year, here’s a cartoon about that topic from Jan 2, 2011. It reflects my feelings about the efficacy of online activism in general.bizarro 01-02-11 ZombieWEB (Click it to see it embiggened.)

 

Prank Blog Breakup Cauliflower

Bizarro 12-28-14 hdr Bizarro 12-28-14 WEB(For a larger view, click any dang image in this post.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Santa Gives Birth.

I hope you all had a happy holiday thing, whatever that might mean for you. As for me, I couldn’t be happier that it’s over. In spite of my affinity for the occasional stage performance, I’m actually an introvert and so the rapid succession of parties and family get-togethers really takes a toll on me. I’m looking forward to a few months without obligatory socializing.

I’m happy with my cartoon today. An email buddy of mine from Germany, one Michael Roth (who happens to be a writer) sends me cartoon ideas almost every week. Some of them intrigue me and I end up using them––or a version of them––in Bizarro. This is one such idea and came in as follows, “Snowman school. Little snowboy with magnifying glass bugs snowkid sitting in front of him with sunbeam. Bugged snowkid raises arm: “Mrs. Wiesencramer, Harry is doing it again!” I liked the graphic challenge of drawing a beam of sunlight channeled through a magnifying glass to melt a hole in a fellow snow-classmate. I’m very happy with the way it turned out and encourage you to click on the image and see it larger. There are also plenty of fun side gags in the posters on the wall, so click the image to enlarge it and check those out.

For you who bother to read the text I provide with my cartoons here, I’ll let you in on a fun back story: In the “Anatomy of a Cell” poster on the wall, the tiny hole in the center of the snowflake is designated as “anus.” My editors asked me to remove it because while it isn’t a hugely offensive word or concept, newspaper editors hate it when cartoonists sneak questionable content into their comics. If it had been large and an integral part of the gag, most editors would have likely approved it, but they resent getting emails or phone calls from uptight readers who are complaining about something that they didn’t know was there and had no choice about publishing. I suppose I can’t blame them and in the current climate of declining newspaper revenues, I can’t afford to lose clients so I took it out for the one that ran in newspapers, but left it in on this one for you. bz panel 12-26-14bz strip 12-26-14bz panel 12-27-14bz strip 12-27-14

The following cartoons are from the last two days before today’s Sunday comic. The first one is self explanatory, I think, but the second one confused at least one reader who sent me a comment about it. It’s simple, really; the cartoon looks and sounds exactly like a divorce or breakup of a romantic couple but when you read the bottom caption, you see that it’s something entirely different––a brief visit by a luggage salesman that ended without a sale. I’ve always enjoyed cartoons that misdirect in this way. (see below.)

Bygone Bizarro: This older cartoon is perhaps my favorite example from my career of this kind of misdirection. At first you think you are looking at a typical scene of an Indian pointing out smoke signals to a cowboy, but the bottom caption tells a different story that still makes me chuckle to this day. If you look at it closely, you’ll see they both have a bowl of salad in their laps. Hope you enjoy it.bizarro 09-21-03 TontoCauliflowerWEB

bz panel 12-22-14bz strip 12-22-14bz panel 12-23-14bz strip 12-23-14bz panel 12-24-14bz strip 12-24-14bz panel 12-25-14bz strip 12-25-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Scary Christmas and Santa’s Package.

This week brings four holiday cartoons for your end-of-year enjoyment. I’m  not one who adheres to the religious celebration of Jesus but I’ve long been bothered by the tacky commercial-ization of Christmas in America. To my sensibilities it’s noisy and ugly no matter what the reason, but the fact that it is all supposedly in honor of one of the least materialistic characters in modern times makes it even more unpalatable.  I stopped participating in it back in the early 90s, announcing politely to my friends and family that I wouldn’t be sending cards or giving gifts anymore and did not expect any. On the increasingly rare occasion when I do get a gift, I accept graciously, of course. I’m not trying to be an ass about it, I just don’t want to play anymore. I’ve found it very liberating.

Thus, my Xmas cartoons tend to come from a fairly irreverent place. In case you missed it, my previous post was a collection of 29 of my favorite Xmas-themed Bizarros from years past. Check it out here for more fun.

GHOST OF BIZARRO PAST: Scroll down to see a strange Xmas cartoon of mine from 1997 that depicts what holidays are like in Cookie Land. Other cultures can be so strange. bizarro 12-24-97 WEBThe nation of Cookie Land recently hacked into my website and stole a bunch of top secret information about future comics and some embarrassing emails in which I openly criticized their king, then threatened to attack my blog if I posted this cartoon. I told them, “I’m not Sony, assholes!”

Happy holidays to all my Jazz Pickles. Stay tangy.