(For a largerized view, click the 46th turkey from the left.)
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I’m fairly well known for being a vegan buzzkill on Thanksgiving but I can’t help it. I’ve long thought the arrogance of we humans believing that everything is here for us to use as haphazardly as our whims dictate, is embarrassing to our species. Biologically, humans don’t “need” to eat meat (unless we are starving in a place without plants, like the Arctic) we eat it because it tastes good. On top of that, our bodies aren’t constructed to process meat very well, which is why it gives us heart attacks, strokes, obesity, etc. You don’t see “true” meat eaters in the wild with these problems. So when you weigh tastes good against the suffering and misery of creatures that are more like us than not, it seems to me a glaring inequity.
If a person wishes to celebrate the good things in their life, as we traditionally do on Thanksgiving, it seems to me a more honest effort if that celebration is not derived from the suffering of others. I’m only explaining my own thought process and ethics here, I’m not judging the vast majority of Jazz Pickles who will eat turkey on Thanksgiving. If my words offend you, you may want to looker deeper into your own feelings about cruelty to animals. You may be surprised to find out how much cognitive dissonance is necessary to maintain your current lifestyle. Again, just my own thoughts.
The cartoon above in which turkeys attempt to avoid slaughter by disguising themselves as American Bald Eagles is specifically about how we revere certain species and abuse others as if they were inanimate objects. Eating a Bald Eagle is a crime in the U.S. but abuse of chickens and turkeys is protected by anti-terrorism laws by making it a felony to take pictures or videos inside factory farms. Yes, that’s true. Yes, it’s absurd. Dogs and cats are protected by law but virtually no other species. The lack of logic here confounds me.
PREBIZTORICALS: I’ve done a lot of turkey cartoons around this time of year but this cartoon from 2006 is my favorite. Not because it is the funniest––it certainly is not––but because it best expresses my feelings on the subject.
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A very quirky friend of mine who always has a few new oddball puns for me when we get together suggested this scenario. I thought it would make a good picture so I drew it up. Thanks, Edwin! My one fear, however, is that this cartoon would be a little difficult to decipher in the tiny, black-and-white format that most newspapers use. It’ll be interesting to see how many questions I get about it.
Edwin also suggested what the wedding night might look like but I can’t share that here because I’m trying to keep this blog family friendly. (Oops. Too late.)
By the way, for those of you not in North America who may be unfamiliar with this character, it’s the Jolly Green Giant‘s wedding. I see now that I neglected to include his giant, green slippers. Damn!
I’ve been hanging onto this idea for a few months because I really hate drawing big church scenes. The background and crowd is tedious to draw while not being large enough to offer any kind of interesting characters or details. It’s just busy work. See how lazy I am?
PREHISTARROS: As your brain may have already noticed, this cartoon from 1996 has nothing to do with the Jolly Green Giant. I came across it in my archives and thought it was fun so I figured I’d toss it in today. The character, Lee, was a friend of mine who passed away unexpectedly a few years back. We miss him. The squirrel is fictional.
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There are few things with the enduring humor of someone other than the Pope dressed like the Pope. It’s a simple equation, really: only one person is the world has the “right” to dress in this outfit and that person has claimed supremacy over all other living beings on the planet as the infallible, divine representative of GOD on earth. So to dress as the Pope not only works on the level that outdated, historical costumes work, but also in making a comment about the person’s arrogance or irreverence, or both. I know it is cliche and the shock value of it wore of ages ago, but I still get a kick out of it. Plus, miters (those phalic Pope hats) are fun to draw. On a side note, I am disappointed in myself (especially as a recovering Catholic) that I forgot to draw the streamers on the back of the hat. Here’s what they should have looked like, only blowing in the wind.
BYGONE BIZARRO: Oddly enough, just yesterday a Jazz Pickle asked me about an old cartoon of mine about the same subject. I was able to find it in my tornado-aftermath of an archive and so I can now bring it to you.