Flying Dead Geezer Brain

bz panel 04-14-14bz strip 04-14-14bz panel 04-15-14bz panel 04-16-14



Bizarro is brought to you today by But What If I Have One?



As funny cartoons about dogs go, I think this one holds its own. What’s funnier than a dog trying to fly? As I write this, I’m pondering whether I’d rather have a dog that can fly or one that just stands up and flaps his arms. I think the latter would be more fun, although the former would be more lucrative.







Cartoon number two this week, is an angle on the somewhat cliche doctor’s line, about which more than a few cartoons have been done. I ran it on April 15th because that’s tax day in the U.S. and many people wish they were dead.










Wednesday’s cartoon is a fun riff on aging. This idea was a collaboration with my good buddy, Andy Cowan, former writer for Seinfeld, Cheers, 3rd Rock from the Sun and a bunch of other stuff. Andy dates a lot so this topic is a fave of his, and both of us are over 50, so we aren’t keen to divulge our ages unless held at gunpoint.  When Andy first sent me this gag I laughed out loud because I have often quoted my own age this way. (Though never in an attempt to pick up a younger woman.) When I turned forty, I called it thirty-ten for a few months. Then I got over it and used the traditional number for the rest of that decade. When I turned fifty, I started it again with forty-ten.

Since at least one of the dozen-or-so people reading this right now is pointing a gun at the screen, I’ll tell you that I’m currently forty-fifteen. bz 04-30-96 head transplantWEB


PREZARROS: For dessert today, here’s a cartoon from 1996 in which I present an idea that I like even more now than I did then. I love everything about getting older except what it is doing to my body. If only my brain could appropriate the body of some useless young person who will never contribute to the planet in any way. It can’t be that hard to find one.

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Death and…

bz panel 04-15-11 TaxDay WEBSome tax day fun (if such a thing is possible) from myself and my known associate, Wayno.


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1 Weird Trick

Bizarro 04-13-14 hedrBizarro 04-13-14 WEBonetip-300x278Bizarro is brought to you today by Truth in Advertising.

If you’ve been loitering on the Interwebs recently, you’ve likely noticed a ton of these badly written and drawn ads for “1 weird trick” to do everything from reducing your belly fat to building muscle to learning a foreign language. As painful as it was for me to draw and write in that style, here are a few of my own suggestions of weird tricks. Follow them at your own risk. (Kids under 18: Ask your parents before chopping off body parts, being imprisoned in a foreign country, or playing with poisonous snakes.)



Here, of course, is an example of one of these ads from the web.



OLD BIZNESS: This moldy cartoon from 1997 is along the same lines as these ads in that it illustrates an ancient form of the not-what-it-seems aspect of this kind of advertising. The coloring is gross and clumsy because it is from a time before I could do my own coloring in Photoshop. Back then I had to guess at the CMYK percentages and hope for the best. Ugh!Bizarro 0419-97 Genie WEB

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