Party Pummeling

Posted on May 19, 2013 by Piraro

Bizarro 05-19-13 WEB(For an expanded state of consciousness [and a bigger view of this comic] click on the Piñata’s chakra.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Nothing.

Modern American parents often worry about more than parents did “back in the day.” Some wonder if this popular birthday party game is teaching our kids that if you beat an animal to death with a stick, you will be rewarded with candy. On the contrary, I believe this game is a valuable tool for rooting out potential sociopaths. If your child takes that lesson from a piñata game and begins beating live animals in search of candy, you likely have a future serial killer on your hands. Or at least a slaughterhouse worker.

For normal children, this game teaches nothing more than not to stand too closely to a blindfolded person swinging a club. A valuable lesson, indeed.

Just for grins, here is a previous piñata cartoon I did a few years back.

bz Pinata farm 10-25-09

21 Comments | Posted in animals, birthday, classic Bizarros, daily Bizarros | Tagged , , ,

Big Feet, Big…

Posted on May 18, 2013 by Piraro

bz panel 05-18-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Camel Toe.

I’m a big fan of Bigfoot cartoons. I am not a believer, as you may have guessed, but I have a friend who is an ardent member of the congregation. Whatever fills your taco shell, right?

The idea for this cartoon came from my good buddy, part-time amateur counselor, and The King of Wordplay, Cliff Harris. Few people love to parse the English language more than this dude. Cliff missed his calling (and didn’t have voicemail) so he became a pediatrician, thinking that was a foot doctor. (This confusion led to his interest in language.) After a few decades of treating sick children (with special attention to their feet) he retired and is now writing clever books for kids (which incorporate some very clever language stuff) though he is yet to be published in that arena. I’ve read them and they’re boffo! I predict big things for you, Cliff! Best of  luck and get back to your keyboard!

18 Comments | Posted in animals, daily Bizarros | Tagged , , , , ,

Beasts of Beauty

Posted on May 18, 2013 by Piraro

bz panel 05-17-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Do-it-Yourself Dentures.

I used to live with a couple of different women, at different times, and both of them spent a fortune on youth and beauty creams. They were both naturally youthful and beautiful and weren’t the type to wear tons of makeup or fuss over their hair, but their fear of getting old led them to fall prey to the beauty cream racket. It is, by the way, astounding how much that stuff costs. (I don’t like looking older, either, by the way, but I don’t do anything to prevent it other than dye my hair, tape my eyelids up, wear a toupee and a girdle, and shove white Chiclets into the spaces where I’ve lost teeth.)

So with that background, this cartoon occurred to me. I did a different type of cartoon using the same basic premise about our obsession with looking younger. You can see it by clicking these blue words. (For color blind readers, click the red words.)

16 Comments | Posted in classic Bizarros, daily Bizarros | Tagged , , , , , ,