Score!

bz panel 10-08-13bz strip 10-08-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Head Triptych.

This delightful image of a shortsighted sports enthusiast comes to us from the disheveled mind of my friend and colleague, Dan McConnell. Dan tells me he conceived of Super Head Ball Extreme from his own experience. Apparently, he regularly makes a sport of finding new ways to knock himself unconscious. And believe me, the world is a safer place when Dan McC is inanimate. You can see more of Dan’s art here. (more…)

Bats, Cats, Dogs, Snakes

bz panel 10-07-13bz strip 10-07-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Love Child.

I often claim it is my birthday but today it really is. As a person who was once in his twenties, let me tell those of you who are still trapped in your youth that you won’t believe how fast life goes. And it just gets faster, so enjoy every moment that you can. I’m 55 today, which makes NO sense to my mind, which is still 18. As it turns out, however, I like everything about aging except for what it does to your body. I’m smarter, wiser, able to navigate through life better with fewer mistakes and frustrating insanity. I have a much better perspective on life now than I did when I was young and am with increasing ease able not to sweat the small stuff. And the older you get, the more you realize that the small stuff is almost everything. It’s pretty great. (more…)

Inappropriate Gifts

Bizarro 10-06-13 WEBrevise

 

 

(If you can place your cursor on the pedestrian’s backpack, you can make this cartoon bigger!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Serpentine Circus.

I’ve had this idea in the dugout for quite some time but hadn’t drawn it yet. Then I corresponded with one of my most loyal, long-time Jazz Pickles, Jan, who, along with her  dog, Penny, and python, Louise, has been featured on this blog before. I found out that the three of them are having some pretty serious difficulties at the moment and Jan asked me if I’d do a another snake cartoon for her sometime soon. It seemed like the perfect time to use this gag, which features some of my favorite issues about pets, and dedicate it to her and her loved ones. You can see my dedication to them in the upper left corner. (more…)

Devil in the Details

bz panel 10-05-13bz strip 10-05-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Devil.

You might not think you’d find the cleanest kitchen in the universe in Hell, but you’d be wrong. If you visit the correct part of Hell, you’ll find this one, kept immaculate by one of Satan’s mop-wielding minions. Of course, anyone who actually believes in Hell likely believes that cockroaches don’t get any kind of afterlife because they are not the chosen, magical, super-cool beings that we humans are, but my cartoons do not discriminate. If one species gets eternal ecstasy or torment, they all do. Good cockroaches––the kind that do good for others, don’t have premarital sex, abstain from intoxicants of all kinds, and pray to the One True God regularly––will live in a filthy kitchen with plenty of rotting snacks available 24/7, while the others go to this place. Makes you think, doesn’t it? (If so, I’d love to know what the hell you’re thinking about.) (more…)

Awaken the Spirit

bz panel 10-04-13bz strip 10-04-13Bizarro is brought to you today by And Whose Would Want To?

I like to keep an open mind and learn as much about life as possible, not for some end gain, but because it amuses my mind and I’ve found that keeping my mind occupied is one of the main tenets of a happy existence. I’ve long been interested in religion and the human compulsion for belief in a higher power and a grand scheme to life. Accordingly, on my continuing mission to learn new things about this topic, I’m going to go see “The Book of Mormon,” a musical by South Park creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I don’t know nearly as much about Mormonism as I’d like and I’m hoping this experience clears some things up for me. (more…)