This Bizarro is brought to you by Dating Don’ts.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if a magician died in the middle of his act, just after sawing a lovely lady in two but before he puts her back together again? I have spent a lot of time wondering about this and several things have occurred to me: (more…)
Bizarro is brought to you today by Ancient Chinese Wisdom.
Today’s cartoon is a collaboration with my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. We used an old cartoon of mine with this same setup, but I changed the characters so you wouldn’t get bored. I figured why draw a computer screen and keyboard again? Drawing computers is as dull as the finish on a 1972 Buick. (more…)
Bizarro is brought to you today by Too Much Free Time.
I’m having a rough week, Jazz Pickles. There’s nothing you can do about it but since you (my reader) are my best friend, I just wanted to vent. Firstly, I received some bad financial news on my divorce that is STILL dragging on and on and is now likely to cost me many dollars more than it was going to yesterday. That’s never fun news. Secondly, (am I using “firstly” and “secondly” correctly? A little help, ProofNinja?) I spent a couple of days on a Sunday Bizarro for October that I really like but my editor tells me that I can’t use it as is for fear of lawsuits. The whole cartoon is about PetSmart, the pet store chain here in the U.S., and even though I thought I’d be protected under satire laws, apparently I’m not so I had to change it to another store name. It dampens the joke but doesn’t ruin it, so I’ll just have to live with that. Such is the action-packed, edge-of-danger life of a syndicated cartoonist, but it’s still a bummer. I’ll post both version here when the time comes. (more…)
Bizarro is brought to you today by Obvious Questions.
I am fortunate to have a small backyard where I am currently living and at any given moment during the day, one can see multiple hummingbirds floating around the flora. If one comes close enough, which happens now and then if I’m sitting back there working quietly on my laptop or passed out drunk on the bench, you can hear the fairly mighty noise that their wings create. They sound like little WWII fighter jets when they zoom by. Extrapolating that noise/size ratio to the man in this cartoon would make him sound like a giant floor fan from the 1950s on high speed. He would likely have to shout this punch line to be heard over his wings. Just a little glimpse into the inner world of cartooning for my precious Jazz Pickles. (more…)
(For enlargering, click the Martian’s pjhxrn.)
This Bizarro cartoon is brought to you by Knowledge.
Today’s cartoon stars my lovely and badass SpecialLadyFriend, Klamelda. I chose her for this role not because she is beautiful, smart, and funny, but because she’s also a 3rd degree black belt in Karate. For reals, pickles. I think she’s also the top-ranked active female in the state of California in her style of Karate, the name of which I can never remember. Sounds like a sushi dish. (It’s a type that does not break planks of wood or piles of bricks, by the way.) She actually wears black Karate pajamas (don’t know how to spell the name of those outfits, sounds like “gee” with a hard “g”) which you can only do if you’re a black belt. But I used white jammies for this image so that readers would immediately recognize it as a martial arts outfit. Sometimes cartoonists have to rely on stereotypes to keep the reader from stumbling on their way to the punch line. I made the place purple to make up for putting her in white pajamas because that’s her favorite color. (more…)