Animal Behavior

bz panel 09-10-13 flasherbz strip 09-10-13dummyBizarro is brought to you today by Anatomical Incorrectness.

“Flashing” ––the practice of being naked under a coat and briefly exposing one’s genitals to strangers––has been a popular hobby among people thus inclined for centuries. But do you remember the brief but stunning national fad of “streaking”? It happened in the early 1970s and entailed one or more people running stark naked (but for running shoes and occasionally a facial disguise) through a public event of some kind. This had long been an occasional activity on college campuses, but in the seventies it became what some people called an “epidemic”. Perhaps the most famous of these heinous displays of degeneracy was when someone ran naked across the stage of a live telecast of The Academy Awards in 1974. Actor David Niven was introducing Elizabeth Taylor when a guy named Robert Opel streaked naked across stage behind him. The most hysterical part of the whole streaking phenomenon was, of course, the effect it had on certain members of society who seemed certain that Western Civilization would come to an end if this kind of thing was allowed to continue. People actually got arrested and prosecuted. Talk about a victimless crime.

My best friend, Mark, and I were in high school when streaking was at its peak and we attempted to gather a group of kids from our art class to “streak” an outdoor prayer rally at Oral Roberts University, in our hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma. In the end, we had trouble getting what we felt were enough people involved (no one signed on) to properly mitigate blame should we be caught, so we chickened out. I wish now I had done it and still feel great shame at my cowardice. On the other hand, if I had done it and gotten caught, I feared my parents would have sent me to a military school in Argentina, so I guess I should be easy on myself.

I miss this frivolous fad and would like to encourage my Jazz Pickles to consider starting it up again. Any public event is fair game but ones that are televised are worth more points. Be sure to document your efforts and send them to me here: Bizarro International Headquarters, 1 Jazz Pickle Plaza, Dept. of Amusing Victimless Crimes, 103rd floor, Los Angeles, California, 90004.

bz 04-05-01 crashPICKLED JAZZ: I have an old cartoon in which a school teacher explains society’s fear of nudity but I can’t find it in my cavernous, chaotic archives. So instead, I foist upon you this cartoon from 2001 because it matches today’s theme. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to afford to pay someone to go through my 30 years of cartoons and keyword them properly. (sigh)

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28 Comments | Posted in classic Bizarros, daily Bizarros | Tagged , , , ,

OH SWEET HATE MAIL

bz panel 09-09-13 dummybz strip 09-09-13dummyBizarro is brought to you today by Quiet Flight.

I had a terrific time this weekend in Santa Rosa where I did a comedy show at a private seminar, and in Sacramento where I did a comedy “talk” at my buddy’s restaurant, The Plum Cafe & Bakery. It was fun to meet some new Jazz Pickles. Thanks to all of those who came out to see me this weekend and especially to the Cowan family for popping out on Sunday and having lunch with me before the talk.

On to more fascinating things, here’s a lovely bit of HATE MAIL that I got from my Sunday cartoon this weekend.

When I saw your strip in today’s (9/8/2013) paper, I could barely control my anger. To even suggest that firefighters are starting fires or encouraging the spread of fire is totally irresponsible. Yes, there occasionally are a few bad apples, but as a rule firefighters, both career and volunteer, are responsible public servants who do their job out of a sense of civic responsibility and pride. Publishing a strip like this only proves that you know nothing about the sacrifices made daily by these dedicated public servants. Then again, what else could we expect from an egotist like you. I demand a very public apology be published by you as soon as possible.

Just in case your wondering about my qualifications, I am a retired volunteer with 27 years of service on a rural fire dept. and have an Associate Degree in Fire Protection. I’ll be waiting for the apology and if I don’t see it, I will lobby our paper to discontinue your strip.

I love this kind of mail! It immediately makes me wonder what kind of person thinks that newspaper cartoons like mine are close enough to reality to warrant anger.  Particularly one like this that clearly derives the joke from the opposite of reality. One can only imagine what kind of fever this person gets himself into over TV commercials with ridiculous premises. Or maybe he only gets riled about things related to firefighting. We may never know.

He demands an apology, so here it is: I’m sorry you are one taco short of a platter. Get well soon.

BIZARRCHIVES: Here, for your historical enjoyment, is another of my many crash test dummy cartoons, this one from 2007. bz panel 06-29-07CRASHPop back in tomorrow for another crash test dummy cartoon; likely the only time in my career I’ve done two in a row! (This kind of random, pointless statistic is what passes for excitement in the life of a cartoonist.)

77 Comments | Posted in classic Bizarros, daily Bizarros, hate mail | Tagged , , , , , ,

A Dry Heat

Bizarro 09-08-13 WEBBizarro 09-08-13 hedr WEB(To enlarginatize this image, click the firetrucks exterior pressure defibrillator mechanism.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Materialism.

This gag reminds me a bit of the comedy of George Carlin. I can almost hear him asking why a firetruck isn’t called a watertruck. Maybe I flatter myself.

This gag was very time consuming to draw and especially color, but I really enjoyed the process and am happy with the results. There is a hidden gag for my most faithful and observant Jazz Pickles, too. Hope you can find it.

I’ve never lost anything to fire but I can only imagine the horror of seeing your home go up in flames. It’s one of my greatest fears, in fact. So if anyone reading this cartoon recently lost their stuff to fire, sorry. I say that because this kind of coincidence happens countless times every time I do a cartoon about tragedy, and I always feel bad even though I know I didn’t have anything to do with it. Am I being silly? Probably.

41 Comments | Posted in daily Bizarros | Tagged ,