Wondering About Wandering

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Why are there so many cartoons about a guy crawling through the desert? How many times has this actually happened? More to the point, how did these guys get there? If their car broke down and they left the road to crawl through the desert, they deserve to die. This is natural selection at work; the species gets stronger if people this stupid do not live long enough to reproduce.

Did their plane go down in the desert? If so, they should’ve stayed with the wreckage because a search party will be looking for it. Did they go for a hike and get lost? Again, they deserve what they get. Who hikes in the desert without enough water, a map and a compass (or GPS)?

The only legitimate scenario I can think of is if these guys got drunk at a frat party, passed out, and woke up 100 miles from anywhere. Here, too, though, people who pass out at frat parties probably deserve whatever they get.


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bz panel 06-25-13bz strip 06-25-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Hangman.

This post is not about religion, but I wish it were. I got so many great comments on yesterday’s cartoon. Thanks to all.

Back to this cartoon: can you imagine killing people for a living? Or, for that matter, can you imagine working in a slaughterhouse where you kill things all day, every day? It can’t be fun or healthy to live that way.

I killed a few things when I was a kid, hunting and fishing with my dad. I’m not proud of it but I didn’t know any better and the time I spent with my dad was fairly rare and extremely important to me at the time. And it was my father’s code that you always eat anything you kill. What’s done is done.

I’d never do it now, though, unless it was a matter of survival. But given my current position in life and on the globe, it is fairly unlikely that will ever happen. I can’t imagine finding myself stranded somewhere with no edible vegetation, a weapon, and animals I was capable of killing. Even if I managed to kill something, I’d have to figure out how to build a fire since humans are not evolutionarily equipped to eat raw meat safely and gnawing on a raw, dead animal would be enormously disgusting. (Nature’s way of telling us it isn’t our optimum food choice.) Rubbing sticks together works great in animated cartoons but in real life, it’s a damned poor way to make a fire you can cook on. I wasn’t raised with those skills, so you might as well ask me to levitate a boulder, which I can’t do without Photoshop.


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Cognitive Dissonance

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I got a complaint about this cartoon this morning that read as follows:

“Today’s newspaper contained an offensive cartoon suggesting that God was hung over when he created man. I am offended. Why haven’t I seen a similar cartoon about Muhammed or the Muslims?
Yes, it is bizarre, but is it your goal also to offend – to hurt? My God is an awesome God who has blessed me in so many ways – so many times. He is not “rock bottom” – He is rock solid! I will pray that you become more sensitive to all your readers while continuing your usual funny and bizarre look at our weaknesses.”

Here is my response:

“The cartoon was not meant to deride “god” or offend believers, but to comment on how horribly humans have treated the earth and its billions of species.

By the way, that cartoon DOES feature the “god” of Islam. Their religion, just like Christianity, is a spinoff of ancient Judaism, so all three have the same supernatural being at the helm. Muslims believe the prophesied, human messiah was Mohammed, Christians believe it was Jesus, Jews think guys (and others) were false prophets and that the messiah is yet to come. You have a one-in-three chance of having been conveniently born into the correct culture. Unless none of those three is right and the Hindus (or any number of hundreds of other religions) have the whole thing figured out correctly. It’s sort of Russian roulette with your soul.”

It is important to know that the fundamental reason Christians, Jews, and Muslims are perennially at war is because they all branched from the same mythology and believe that their version is the correct one and the other two are heretics. It is also important to know that this cartoon has nothing to do with any of that.


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