That’s My Boy


Bizarro 10-20-13 WEB










(To enlarge the man of steel, click on the sparrow in the tree next to the farmhouse.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Super Moms.

“Is your phone made of Kryptonite? You can’t pick it up every now and then and call your mother?”

I like this gag for its subtle, visual punch line –– the shadow of Superman’s mom. I also enjoyed creating the distance between Superman and the clouds, and the farmland below. You don’t get that kind of detail with your average Sunday comic and I provide it free of charge. (more…)

Neigh, Brethren


bz panel 10-19-13bz strip 10-19-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Interesting Swimwear.

If you’ve never paid much attention to the credits of movies you may not know that there is (or at least used to commonly be) a disclaimer at the end of Hollywood films that said something like, “No animal was harmed in the making of this film.”  As the result of pain-in-the-ass-animal-rights-advocates (like me) at some point in the late 1900s, Hollywood passed “laws” that you couldn’t injure animals to make a movie. Up until then, directors could be pretty ruthless when it came to battle scenes, stampedes, chariot races, etc., and would routinely trip horses with wires to make them look as though they’d been shot, and so forth. Lots of animals were killed making movies in the old days. Once, Timmy threw a tantrum and strangled Lassie, causing a nationwide search for another dog that looked just like him to finish the film. In another famous incident, during the making of Ben Hur, Charlton Heston was being such a horse’s ass that one of the horses from the cast mounted him. Heston mowed the horse down with a semi-automatic rifle, of course. (more…)

Don’t Ask, Don’t Smell


bz panel 10-18-13bz strip 10-18-13Bizarro is branged to you today by Purse Snatcher.

Here’s a fun little doggy thing that my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh and I collaborated on. The basic idea is his but I changed the text a bit and added a dandy-looking (if I may say so myself) police dog to the mix. There is a person in my neighborhood who walks an ENORMOUS German Shepherd about the same time I walk my precious Jemima, and man, I can only imagine the fear that would strike your heart if this guy were on the end of a cop’s leash and was snarling at me. He’s the biggest German Shepherd I’ve ever seen and I’m thankful he’s docile. So is Jemima, who has a crush on him I think, even though he is no longer anatomically prepared for romance. (more…)

Tearful Reunions


bz panel 10-17-13bz strip 10-17-13Today’s Bizarro is brought to you by Unpleasant Surprises of the Afterlife.

We humans like to think of glorious, emotional reunions with deceased loved ones after we die but what of all the other things you lost during life? Here’s my interpretation of what that might be like.

While drawing this cartoon, I remembered a terrific cartoon by one of the single-panel masters of all time, Sam Gross. See it here.  It was my unworthy pleasure to get to know Sam a bit when I lived in NYC. He’s an endlessly fascinating guy with a NY accent fit for an informer on a cop show from the 70s. Such a brilliant mind. (more…)

Existential Warranty


bz panel 10-16-13bz strip 10-16-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Porky Pig.

I’ve always done funeral- and death-related gags, but I’ve noticed I’ve been doing more than usual lately. Maybe it is because I’ve entered into that latter portion of my life where I can imagine the end of my life with more clarity than that vague, “someday” feeling one has when they are younger. Time goes exponentially faster the older you get, so even if I live another 35 years (which would be a very long life so I’m not counting on it) it will seem like the blink of an eye. (more…)