Rope-a-Dope

bz panel 06-25-13bz strip 06-25-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Hangman.

This post is not about religion, but I wish it were. I got so many great comments on yesterday’s cartoon. Thanks to all.

Back to this cartoon: can you imagine killing people for a living? Or, for that matter, can you imagine working in a slaughterhouse where you kill things all day, every day? It can’t be fun or healthy to live that way.

I killed a few things when I was a kid, hunting and fishing with my dad. I’m not proud of it but I didn’t know any better and the time I spent with my dad was fairly rare and extremely important to me at the time. And it was my father’s code that you always eat anything you kill. What’s done is done.

I’d never do it now, though, unless it was a matter of survival. But given my current position in life and on the globe, it is fairly unlikely that will ever happen. I can’t imagine finding myself stranded somewhere with no edible vegetation, a weapon, and animals I was capable of killing. Even if I managed to kill something, I’d have to figure out how to build a fire since humans are not evolutionarily equipped to eat raw meat safely and gnawing on a raw, dead animal would be enormously disgusting. (Nature’s way of telling us it isn’t our optimum food choice.) Rubbing sticks together works great in animated cartoons but in real life, it’s a damned poor way to make a fire you can cook on. I wasn’t raised with those skills, so you might as well ask me to levitate a boulder, which I can’t do without Photoshop.

 

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Cognitive Dissonance

bz panel 06-24-13bz strip 06-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Age of Reason.

I got a complaint about this cartoon this morning that read as follows:

“Today’s newspaper contained an offensive cartoon suggesting that God was hung over when he created man. I am offended. Why haven’t I seen a similar cartoon about Muhammed or the Muslims?
Yes, it is bizarre, but is it your goal also to offend – to hurt? My God is an awesome God who has blessed me in so many ways – so many times. He is not “rock bottom” – He is rock solid! I will pray that you become more sensitive to all your readers while continuing your usual funny and bizarre look at our weaknesses.”

Here is my response:

“The cartoon was not meant to deride “god” or offend believers, but to comment on how horribly humans have treated the earth and its billions of species.

By the way, that cartoon DOES feature the “god” of Islam. Their religion, just like Christianity, is a spinoff of ancient Judaism, so all three have the same supernatural being at the helm. Muslims believe the prophesied, human messiah was Mohammed, Christians believe it was Jesus, Jews think guys (and others) were false prophets and that the messiah is yet to come. You have a one-in-three chance of having been conveniently born into the correct culture. Unless none of those three is right and the Hindus (or any number of hundreds of other religions) have the whole thing figured out correctly. It’s sort of Russian roulette with your soul.”

It is important to know that the fundamental reason Christians, Jews, and Muslims are perennially at war is because they all branched from the same mythology and believe that their version is the correct one and the other two are heretics. It is also important to know that this cartoon has nothing to do with any of that.

 

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Sinking Feeling

Bizarro 06-23-13 WEB (For a version of this cartoon that is impossibly huge, click R2D2′s pancreas access port.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Flatulence Put To Good Use.

I truly enjoyed drawing this scene with the exception of the Transformer in the right corner. Those things have WAY too many parts on them. Some of you younger Jazz Pickles might not realize it, but Transformers came out as toys  decades before they became a movie; sometime in the late 19th century, I believe. They were less complex then because they didn’t have the technology they do now so each toy had to be fashioned out of scraps of twigs and bamboo held together with hemp twine. These days, they are made from a combination of lead-based materials from China and environment-destroying plastics.

I researched this image to make sure I got it right but I can’t remember exactly which one it is. I think it is called “Wavetron” and when it’s not being a murderous robot thing, it folds up into a curling iron.

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