Dummy Drawings

Bizarro is brought to you today by Horse In The Road.

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I’ve been on holiday for a couple weeks (SO rare for me!) and so now that I’m back at headquarters I feel as though I’ve been thrown from a speeding car onto a highway full of emails. Ugh.

Meanwhile, here are the cartoons that published while I was away and that I’ve not posted here yet.Bizarro 06-28-15 WEBBreaking up is never fun, even when one of you is made of wood and plastic. Bizarro 07-05-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 07-05-15 WEbHere’s another in my ongoing series of Sunday Punnies, which are puns that readers send to me and I figure out a funny way to illustrate them. Congrats to Dennis Barley, Kelly Cox, and Ed Saugstad for submitting this batch! Side note: The bunny in the title panel and at the top left of the Sunday Punnies is not the usual Bizarro Bunny, but her boyfriend, Sterphen. (That’s not a typo, that’s how he spells his name.)

Soupy Giggles

Bizarro 04-26-15 HdrWEB Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Plans.

My Sunday cartoon this week is a bit odd and I knew it would attract some questions. The most common question I’ve gotten about it so far is something along the lines of “What does this mean?”

Well, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a fun bit of nonsensical wordplay in the tradition of Bizarro 04-26-15 WEBthe original bz panel 04-20-15Monty Python TV show or the brilliant work of my official favorite cartoonist, B. Kliban. It was suggested by a bz panel 04-21-15friend of mine though I didn’t credit them and now I can’t remember exactly whom it was. Was it Keith? If so, thanks, Keith! If not, sorry someone else!

Alt Tarzan

Bizarro 03-22-15 hdrBizarro 03-22-15 WEB(Nobody will mind if you make these cartoons larger by clicking them. Try it. You’ll see.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Horseracing Cheaters.

Last Sunday I published a cartoon with soldiers on a statue of a pigeon (this week’s title panel was constructed from it, in fact!) so this makes it two Sunday’s in a row that I’ve featured a cartoon with a human on a statue. This kind of thing often happens to cartoonists; one idea leads to another idea in the same vein. I like this one about Tarzan being raised in a city park instead of the jungles of Africa. The perspective was fun to draw and it has a few behind-the-scenes aspects that truly dedicated Jazz Pickles might find interesting: The statue’s plaque features a name that is similar to my fiance-in-law who is an award-winning brewmaster, the speaking character looks more-or-less like me a couple decades ago, the name on the back of his jersey refers to my lovely life partner, Olive Oyl, and the 13 is my daughter’s birth date (the one engaged to my fiance-in-law.) Lastly, more observant readers will notice that I tucked Tarzan’s loin cloth beneath him, thus obscuring an unpleasant view. You’re welcome. bz panel 03-16-15 bz panel 03-17-15 bz panel 03-18-15 bz panel 03-19-15bz strip 03-19-15bz panel 03-20-15 bz panel 03-21-15

Church Murder Bird Poop

bz panel 08-28-14bz strip 08-28-14bz panel 08-29-14bz strip 08-29-14bz panel 08-30-14bz strip 08-30-14Bizarro is brought to you today by The Glamorous World of Taxis.

I’ve done a few Batman cartoons wherein I riff on the animal choices for he and Robin’s alter-egos. This suggestion, however, came from my good friend and colleague in cartooning, Dan McConnell. (I’ve asked Dan to double all of the consonants in his first and last name, but he resists.) You can see his original suggestion for this comic here. (more…)

Nose Lice Feet

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Clever Ways to Dispose of Evidence.

My Friday offering this week is an obvious reference to the old adage, “You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”  Now you can.














This cartoon is an attempt to ruin your next selfie. The only reason school children get head lice more often than adults is that they are more likely put their heads together. Parents get them from their kids by hugging them. So it stands to reason that the “selfie” craze will be a boon to the head lice community. Thus far, we have ascertained that cell phones give people brain tumors and head lice. What next? Rotating Buttock Syndrome? (more…)

Escape Photo Evidence Beer

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Where Jazz Pickles Go To Mate.


One enduring question of evolution is why sea creatures began slithering onto land. In the first cartoon of this post, I present my theory.






My second cartoon today is another of my Bigfoot renditions, of which I’ve done many. A few people have asked me what this one means, exactly. If you are one of those who are wondering, I would ask if you’ve ever tried to get a good picture of Bigfoot. (more…)

Paint Sniff Click Sneak

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Master Race.


Time to play catch up again. I was out all day yesterday and met one of my comedy idols completely accidentally, which was a huge thrill! My next post will be about that.


For now, let us examine this handful of cartoons from this week. All of them are pretty self-explanatory, so I won’t go into a big story here except to say that the one about telephone tech support reminds me of another connection I made once while in a cab in NYC. (more…)


bz panel 07-10-13bz strip 07-10-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Our Lady of the Melons.

Here’s a bit of super-secret backstage gossip about this cartoon: I have some friends named John and Fiona and he’s a lawyer. I didn’t say the super-secret backstage gossip would be interesting.

Anyway, this is my covert way of finding out if my friends read my comics. If neither John nor Fiona say anything about this in the next few days, they’re off my Festivus list for good. (more…)

Elderly Underwear Surgeon Evolution Cat Foot


Bizarro is brought to you today by Tiny Pediatrician.

I had a good week in my personal life in that after over a year of living in LA, I finally screwed up the courage to go to the DMV and get my motorcycle and car driver’s licenses, and register my motorcycle in California. She now has a California plate and she couldn’t be more proud. Even more importantly, I don’t have to look over my shoulder constantly for the fuzz. Anyone want to start a bidding war over my old New York State motorcycle plate? I can sign it and draw a self portrait on it! (more…)

Bitter Pachyderm Philtrum Swashbuckling Drinker Teen Whale









Bizarro is brought to you today by Time Magazine.

“If you’re only reading the cartoons on BizarroBlog, you’re missing most of Piraro’s genius.”––Time Magazine

Okay, that never appeared in Time Magazine. But from some of the comments that readers make, I know that plenty of people are only scanning the cartoons briefly and skipping all of this delicious text that I pour so much of my heart and soul into. So I thought maybe a phony quote would encourage them to read on. Am I a bad man? Yes, but it has nothing to do with that phony quote. (more…)