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Church Murder Bird Poop

bz panel 08-28-14bz strip 08-28-14bz panel 08-29-14bz strip 08-29-14bz panel 08-30-14bz strip 08-30-14Bizarro is brought to you today by The Glamorous World of Taxis.

I’ve done a few Batman cartoons wherein I riff on the animal choices for he and Robin’s alter-egos. This suggestion, however, came from my good friend and colleague in cartooning, Dan McConnell. (I’ve asked Dan to double all of the consonants in his first and last name, but he resists.) You can see his original suggestion for this comic here. (more…)

Reap Hat Wig

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Bizarro is brought to you today by But What’s the Red Pipe For?

When the Grim Reaper comes a reaping at your door, will he be able to speak to you without a larynx? Can he sneeze without lungs, a mouth, or sinus cavities? Can you knock him down an run since he has no muscles to hold him up? For that matter, how does he hold up that heavy scythe? (more…)

Dummy Ashes Jowl Reading

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Grandpa Spent Too Much Time Alone in the Basement.


After all these years I still enjoy coming up with a new angle on one of the traditional cartoon cliches. I started with the idea of a ventriloquist’s dummy begging and then my lovely and enchanting girlfriend, Olive Oyl, and I riffed for a bit before coming up with the right line for his sign. I can’t believe this idea hasn’t been done before but I couldn’t find one on the Truthernet, so I did it. (more…)

BBQ and Death

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Cross-dressing in the 19th Century.

Even though Jazz Pickles tend to be smarter than the average rabble, not all of us are good at punctuation, spelling, and grammar. But surely you can see how the comma in the expression on the apron at left changes everything. By the way, if you are blissfully unaware of idiotic meme products, “Kiss the Cook” has long been a standard saying on novelty aprons. Although, once 89 million of them have sold, they are anything but a novelty. (more…)

Three to Five Smiles

bz panel 01-20-14 bz panel 01-21-14 bz panel 01-22-14Bizarro is brought to you today by The Power of Three.

Since it is Wednesday and I have not yet posted any cartoons this week, you get three. Hooray, wunderbar, groovy.



1. If your cholesterol and weight are high your doctor may say he’d like to “get your numbers down.” But this patient is an ancient Roman so he uses the word “numerals” instead. That is supposed to be the joke. What happens next is the doctor is cleaved in half by a sword and his head is displayed on a pike in the town square. I didn’t include that in the gag because it’s gross. (more…)

Ancient T & A

bz panel 01-10-14bz strip 01-10-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Budget House of Ill Repute.

I love the risque simplicity of this gag and I’m a little surprised that it wasn’t rejected for its sexual content. It always amazes me that Americans are so much more sensitive to nudity and sex than they are to violence. A TV program can show a woman getting beaten to death with a porcelain sink but they can’t show a loving couple with their shirts off. Astounding. (more…)

Various Approaches

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My old buddy, Dan McConnell has been thinking about fish again and in so doing, came up with this gag idea for me. One can’t help feeling sorry for the poor, struggling fish who has been flushed out of the tank, until one realizes it is not a real fish at all, but a drawing made to look like a fish. This is just part of the magic of panel 12-17-13bz strip 12-17-13 (more…)


bz panel 12-02-13bz strip 12-02-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Where’s the Baby?

I’ve been remiss lately in keeping my blog completely current so I’m going to do some catching up today.

This gag about a hair salon reminds me of the hair salon my mother went to in the 70s, when I was a teenager. She loved her hairdresser, Phillip, and thought he was just the funniest, coolest guy; so easy to talk to. She couldn’t believe that a good-looking man with such a great personality had never been married, even though he was in his early forties. (more…)

Cuckoo Time

bz panel 11-20-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Perfect Hangover Snack.

Well, now. This is a weird little gag about a cuckoo clock that sees a shrink. I can only imagine the sort of twisted mind that would arrive at this scenario, and it belongs to my good buddy and cartoony colleague, Dan McConnell. Seriously, what is wrong with that guy? (more…)

Flathead Funnies

bz panel 10-28-13bz strip 10-28-13bz panel 10-29-13bz strip 10-29-13Bizarro is brought to yourself today by Albert Frank Einstein.

Since I’m behind on the blog this week, this is another omnibus posting. Sorry about that, JPs.

It’s Halloween week here in Southern California so I’m using gags about scary monsters that I’ve been saving all year. My buddy, Dan McConnell thinks up a lot of monster gags so he may be disproportionately represented this week. Oh! Here’s one now; Frankenstein shoe shopping. McC may have gotten this idea from a gay Halloween parade, which are the best kinds of Halloween parades there are, in my heterosexual opinion. (more…)

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