Bizarro is brought to you today by Herpetological Coif.
Hello, Bizarro Jazz Pickles. Today I bring you one of my favorite gags in a while, the “Planet of the Apps.” Early on, I tried to remain free from the reach of cell phones, but like most human earthlings, I failed. I was among the last in my circle of friends and relatives to get a phone (around 2001), insisting that I didn’t want to be that accessible. Once I got one, of course, I couldn’t remember how I lived without it.
When the “app” craze hit, I stayed mostly clear of those, too. I downloaded an orangutan that moves its lips when you talk so it looks like the ape is saying whatever you’re saying. That was hilariously good fun for a few days. Then I got some practical ones for things like weather and info. “Shazam” was a good acquisition because I’m always coming across songs on TV or in movies that I want to identify and I still use it all the time. Then I made the mistake of downloading “Angry Birds,” and now I’m hooked. I refuse to download any other game because I already waste too much time playing that one. That’s why I included the ape with the hat and glasses above. I’m so ashamed.
Another cartoon about cell phones is this one which requires the reader to do a little bit of “thought acting.” To understand the gag, you have to read the lines two different ways: the first one is spoken calmly as if the person’s voice at the other end is not coming through clearly, the second line is in disbelief because the person at the other end of the conversation is breaking up their relationship with Mr. Green Jacket. This does, indeed, show the power of punctuation. I’m guessing italics are not really considered punctuation, but it plays an important role in getting the gag, too. This is the kind of cartoon that usually attracts an email or two from an English teacher saying that they used the cartoon in class. I’m always happy to hear that. It’s SO much better than hearing from a mad scientist who tells me he has used one of my cartoons to destroy Metropolis. Not cool, dude.
Lastly, I offer you this photo of a Bizarro Jazz Pickle named Louise. She is a python and has appeared on this blog before. In this photo she is using my new book, “Bizarro Heroes” to distract herself as she sheds. Yet another use for this fine comic art product that makes the perfect gift for anyone you can think of for any reason. Louise found out about it here.
Ever wonder what someone who is not a Bizarro Jazz Pickle is called? The answer.